Help! i checked out 12yr old daughter's 'bebo' site..scary...?
Answer:
Your daughter's twelve. She probably has no real insight into the meaning behind the picture, and probably just thinks she's being cool. If you think she's aware of the image she's putting out there, then I would be much more concerned with why she feels a need to portray herself in such a demeaning way rather than about paedophiles, if I were you.
Some of the kids home pages are very worrying in that they really put across the insecurities and lack of self-worth and self-respect that they obviously feel. I know some of my kids' friends' homepages and id's etc have shocked me and saddened me greatly.
Look at it this way - you've had rare insight into the way her mind is working, for whatever reason, and you can help her learn a little more in the way of self esteem and confience, and the reasons why these things are important. I don't think banning all internet use is necessarily the best way to go - she doesn't need to feel guilty, unless she's showing other signs of being precocious, but instead needs to start setting a value on herself.
Good luck - I have three kids all around that age too (14, 12 and 9). I know where you're coming from.
I'm sorry could you type that again using actuall words?
b upset motho. she b troppin fo sho. give her a gud whippin rea quik.
hmm looks like bebo is just a copy of myspace. Everyone is getting grounded over their myspace these days..
As a good parent you have every right to be upset. I feel like you have done the right thing as far as grounding her, but i wouldnt trust her as far as i could see her. She is only 12, just keep a tight grasp on her. Try not to give in too much, she will appreciate it much later in life.
I think you have a right to be worried if she is only 12 and is posting that kind of stuff on there. There is a vast difference between a 12 year old and a 16 year old, and she shouldn't be saying that kind of stuff on her site. I'd get her some kind of counseling, to see what's going on to cause her to be like that and help her deal with it.
the cause of your concern stems from the internet you must get rid of it - even if it means you have to live without it...your daughters innocence is more valuable than the internet.If you really cannot do with out the net then you need to change the password and do not tell her what it is.Then encourage her to take part in some meaningful activities sport,art whatever her interest is you need to re direct her behaviour.
it is not exploring sexuality it is potentially very dangerous and she is doing it because she is not being kept busy wiht other things.
i think you are right and u should sit it out and see what happens but don't let her go any further with what she is doing, i think eventually she will calm down
your daughter needs to be spanked well I take that back she would probably like that, she needs to be grounded and forced to wear ugly baggy clothes until she starts acting like a lady rather than a tramp you need to pull up sites on the internet about missing children, child slavery and show her what type of danger she is headed for then take away her computer and lock her in her room til she turns 18
12 yrs...ouch...
i advise anyone with the net with teens (or a not so trustfull husband) to download a program called web watcher you can find this at
www.webwatcher.com
i downloaded it and found out quite a bit.
it'll give you all the pass words you need to access her chat, e-mails ect and so much more
I'm not suprised your child is messed up if that's how you write. I have no idea what you have typed.
Children on the computer need to be monitored. Why is this so hard for parents to understand? Leaving them to themselves while they are on line is like driving them to the middle of the city and dropping them off on skid row. They are prone to predators and at such young ages they are likely to make bad choices.
They should not be on line while they are alone. Put the computer in the family room where you all congregate and keep an eye on what they are doing. They are less likely to do things like that if you are in the room.
Limit computer times to when you are home and can be in the room with them. Also for goodness sake don't let them live on it. An hour or so is ample time to do anything they need to do on line.
Any extra time should be for studies as needed for homework.
I know that you are shocked by what you have found out about your daughter. Any responsible parent would be, however you should treat this very carefully, because just remember that even if you ban her from using bebo at home she is probably going to use it at school ro at friends houses. You are better off sitting her down and having a long chat with her about the dangers of the internet. Just remind her that other people do not know her real age and can take advantage of her. The scary thing about todays world is that children grow up a lot faster, that is just the way our society has evolved, kids are almost immune to danger, if you give them too much freedom then they are bound to start pushing the boundaries. She has probably changed becuase of her new friends, high school is a whole lot different and kids have to grow up faster to be accepted.
I hope that you can find a soloution to your problem, just remember don't alienate her and try to talk to her and not down to her. Afterall she probably doesn't understand what all the fuss is about.
I wouldn't get angry and start confiscating things, that'll only make her rebel and do these things behind your back.
Instead, tell her again and again how concerned you are for her safety. Talk about paedophiles, find pieces on 'net about the likes of the Soham girls, Sarah Payne...point out that these girls didn't even try to act older than they were and they fell prey to evil people.
Make yourself available to her if she wants to talk about her anxieties - and make sure she knows she can ask you.
Also, make sure your filter is on to deny access to adult sites.
I think you have done the right thing by banning all internet use.
She probably thinks it is just a laugh and no harm but it's the people who read her page that i would worry about.
i think bebo is ok as long as thier site is legit. and they know every 1 on thier list, and i f they dont know them they NEVER exchange messages. but wat she is doin is NOT ok. i think wat u did is fair
¿Que?? utilice por favor las palabras verdaderas la vez próxima, la gente puede entender tan lo que usted está diciendo
Bebo is like MySpace, isn't it?
Well, being 14 years old and having stuff like that is sick. She shouldn't even be THINKING of sex at 14.
I would ban her from that website until she gets her act together.
wow...and she's only 12?
it's so scary, i think you should try your best to give her the space she needs and also keep monitoring her
I think that it is natural for a 12 year old because i am a 13 year old myself.
hey!
im 15 and i also have bebo, ur daughter is just growin up she will get over it, right now she probally likes the attention she is gettin from boys on there my mum didnt like me having bebo she also tried to block it ect but i got past the blocks and went on it anyway! if u try doing this then ur daughter will just rebel in other wayz like 4 example u rather see her on a website shes not aloud on rather than wiv a ciggarett stuck in her gob right? after all the attention she is gettin on there isnt hurtin her is it? its not as if she is going to meet the guys she talks to on there right? and as 4 da pics she has on there....well they r not going to kill anyone! if u look at most of da kidz profiles on therr they all have some sort of reference to sex.. maybe u shud try sittin wiv ur daughter at the computor to see wat she is doing? but this cud get annoyin for her and therefore she will just rebel behind ur back! just lay off her and let her do wat she wants jjust make sure she doesnt meet any off the boys she meets on there after all wen she she starts to meet guys her own age that like her she wnt be interested in the ones she meets on da internet! as 4 her phone dnt go thru it! this will really piss her off (sorry to be so blunt) just give it back! instead of havin arguments wiv ur daughter about wat she wants to do let her make her own mistakes and find out why she shoudnt do them herself! after all she wnt appreciate u in i wud think wud be her wordz "takin over her life" my advice wud be back off, leave her be, and try to be her mate instead of her overpretective mother!! lol anywayz hope u fould my advice useful and hope u didnt get offended! sorry if u did! good luck wiv ur daughter!
Yes you need to spell it out. Is this how you actually talk.
I know what you mean the pc is a constant argument in this house .. my daughter uses bebo , shes 13 , thanks i never knew there was an age restriction as all her friends use it too.. When my kids have done something where it has caused upset i normally ban them from the pc for a week . They HATE when we do that ..
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.