My daughter is 17 with a baby and she seems like she will never grow up. How do I help her?
Answer:
I assume she's living at home? I know this is hard, but you have to start TRYING to see her as an adult. If she has no job, make her get one. If she wants to go out with her friends, don't offer to babysit. If she wants to go out, she can find a sitter just like other adults have to do. She needs to start being a responsible adult and the best way to learn that is at home, before the big mistakes really can devastate you. Having a baby doesn't MAKE you an adult, especially when you don't have to be one, but if you have a baby...you are now a parent and you need to realize that you have someone else who comes first.
suport her and help her with some of her disishoins
My niece had a baby about the same age, and she only seemed to grow up this year, she's now 21.
Just support her as much as you can, she probably isn't ready to grow up yet, she's still a child. Eventually she'll grow up.
don't enable her and make it easy for her to not grow up, be loving but firm and try to explain to her very simply and plainly just how much effort and hard work it takes to raise a child.
Good luck!
well actually i think if they dont listen youll have to show them what will happen to her if she continues this behavior, kinda need to scare her into reality, cruel i know but if she doesnt get it soon shell turn 18 and say f*** you and leave thinking she knows what is going on and she and her baby will be in danger
I had my first baby young too, and a lot of people thought that I was not grown up enough, but I took good care of my baby, and my husband, and even though they thought I was a baby myself I did well. I really didn't know that people saw me that way. Just be there for her and maybe she will surprise you. Good luck!
just because she was able to have a Baby doesn't in any way mean she is a grown up you have to expect that she will be childish until she decides otherwise if being a mom at that age didn't change her already it seems to me that it is pretty much out of your hands now does the baby have an active father or just another sperm donor who calls himself a man. If she is by herself maybe it is hard to realize that now is the time to get it together and start thinking about her child more and herself less good luck with it that is a hard thing to get across to lots of people that age. maturity has to be grown into not taught by someone else.
JUST TAKE CARE OF HER FOR THE TIME BEING AND LET HER KNOW THAT YOUR THERE FOR HER IN WHATEVER, SHES ONLY 17 ITS NOT QUITE TIME FOR HER TO GROW UP YET BUT THINGS HAPPENED JUST A LITTLE TO EARLY, MAYBE WHEN THE BABY COMES AROUND SHE WILL GROW UP ALITTLE BIT MORE
She won't grow up if she doesn;t have to. If she doesn't have to work, doesn't have to take care of a baby, why would she?
umm you can't make her grow up. personally i think the best way to teach a kid responsibility is to cut off all support. believe me their survival instincts will make them grow up.
make sure she is caring for her own child, or she'll lay it all on you.
I do not know particulars, but I have been there. The worst thing to do is to take over her responsibilities. Help out but she won't feel any connection to her child if you take over, even though it is tempting.
Tough love. Dont offer her help. Make her learn to fend for herself so she can grow up faster.
You should tell her to get a babysitter to watch her child for like a couple of hours and u should support her by helping her to find a job i will say she should try to work for a bank cuz u make 1000 a week. But she could sign up for monster.com and it will help her find a job ok.
you aint help her get pregnant..so why help he back out..let her learn from her mistakes..her baby.her life her problems..maybe next time the rubbers will come out or the legs wil stay closed.
Helping & being supportive are 2 different things. Be supportive...Answer questions patiently & lovingly. It is also okay to set limits especiall while she is at home (she is at home right?) For example, she can stay there as long as she has a job, and she should contribute to the rent/housepayment, & have to pay for all baby supplies. If she can't afford disposable diapers buy cloth... That is an incentive to get a job...(Not many people want to wash out poopy diapers.) The baby should stay in her room, so that she can care for it in the middle of the night. Don't be angry...what is, is what is. It may seem cruel to be so unhelpful, but you are helping her in a much better way.
I see so many girls that get pregnant too young on here, that never had to care for the children they chose to keep, go & get pregnant again. Hopefully letting her fend for herself will make her think more carefully about her actions next time.
She needs your emotional support, to pick her up when she falls, not your physical or financial help. She should have thought about that earlier. That is not your problem..
A great book I can recommend is Boundaries by Dr.Cloud & Dr. Townsend
tell her that she should start acting like an adult now that she has an baby.
the best way for her to grow up is to be treated like an adult and given more responsibility. soon she will realize that life isnt all fun and games and show Initiative towards her future
dont cater to her. My cousin had 4 kids by the time she was 21 all with different dads because my aunt would not say no to her. By helping her out in the long run you are hurting her. Have her get a job on the weekends. DO not allow her to go out with friends. Make sure she finishes school. She is under 18 and you control her even though she has a kid. If need be tell her that when she is 18 you have every right to take the child from her and make her leave the house. Maybe if you scare her she will start to grow up. She needs to get things together now before she really gets out of control
Kick her out of the house and adopt the baby.
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