I have a son who is 17 and wants to drop out of school to go to collage.?
Answer:
If he only will fall three credits short, as a Mom, I would make a deal with him. If he finishes high school, that you will then pay for him to go to culinary school. He can do it, just believe in him. He's 17 so he needs that guidance from you - he wants to quit but don't let him. He will feel great about himself when he gets that high school diploma. The other thing is, you can't afford the culinary school in Austin so he has to understand that too. It's not that you don't want him to go there, it's just not a possibility. If he wants to take this year to work part-time and build up some funds, then that's a possibility. But when he graduates, I would just ask him to go to a local culinary school. If that's his passion, I would support him 100% -- but only in a way that makes sense. Hope that helps and good luck.
Well see your first problem is that you wont kick him out...and allowing him to do nothing and not punishing him for all this is your fault and have no one to blame but yourself...seriously he doesnt do all this stuff but your going to pay the bills come on you cant even spell culinary correctly.
You can't always make him happy. If he wants to go to school but isn't willing to back himself up by doing the work, that's his decision. Tell him the straight facts. Make him work. If you stop doing everything for him, he'll realize that he has to grow up and support himself. Just make sure he is fully aware of the situation and any decision he makes is up to him and support him either way.
explane to him the collage might not even want him if he cant graduate and that if he wants to go to that school he needs to straighten up from my point of view i dont think hes resonsable to move away and go to school and if he his he needs to show you by doing laundry getting up on time and any other chore that is his explaine to him you wont pay for his schooling if he wont straighten up tell him you will graduate you will do laundry go to bed at a normal time or you will NOT pay for his schooling
He needs a big reality check! He needs to learn to complete things he starts. He also needs to learn responsibility. He should be able to finish the 3 credits this summer. Speak with his counselor at school. Once he graduates, HE can get financial adi on his own and go. He can go to the culinary school later in the year. He needs to get a real diploma. That could follow him the rest of his life. It is a question on most job applications. I would tell him you will help him IF he finishes his high school career first. That will be his way of showing you he is excited about it and will follow through.
What if he pulls this crap when he's off at culenary school? He'll fail and you'll be left with the debt. Get on his ***!! That's why your the parent.
I would not let him and I am sorry but if he can not wake up and do his own things for himself why would you trust him to go to school and finish. He can not event finish high school!! Put your foot down and tell him if he finishes school and you see a major change in him then next year he can go and if he does not like that idea than too bad tell him to get out of your house find his own way to get that 9000 dollars a month for school. Do not let him get his way because you will be throwing away that money!!
Okay. As a mom and a daughter. I understand that you love and want your baby. BUT, that aside, he WILL be living at home, and unemployed without a high school diploma at 40 if you don't nip this RIGHT NOW!! He HAS to learn responsibilities, or he will get NO WHERE in life. What he needs to do, is take another year, and FINISH high school, NOT just settle for a GED. It's not uncommon for a 19 year old to still be in school. It's a culinary school, that I'm sure would want him more with a HS diploma, and not just a GED. They will hold his acceptance for another year if need be! You have to put your foot down, and state that you WILL NOT shell out ONE PENNY towards his college education unless he takes some intuitive first!! There are also student loans that he can apply for that HE will be responsible for paying back. THAT should be the route that you all take. Right now, he doesn't sound to motivated, and if he goes to school and racks up this huge bill, and a couple of months later decides that it wasn't for him, do YOU want to be left paying for his mistakes, again? Please be strong, I KNOW it's hard, but you HAVE to be for HIS OWN GOOD!! Good Luck in what ever you choose to do, and with your son's future!
Why are you paying for him to go to any sort of college? Has he applied for any sort of financial aid?
My first inclination as both a parent and someone who worked through college is that he is taking you for granted. If he's screwing up high school, he's going to screw up college because he doesn't take it seriously. I seriously doubt he lost his job from missing one meeting while sick. It was probably a series of being late, or excuses for being late, or shoddy workmanship, esp if he only desires to lay around and play videogames.
I would be very sympathetic, and say "How sad! What are you going to do about it?" Seventeen is old enough to pull your head out of your *** and work for something you want. He obviously doesn't want it bad enough, he's just looking for an easy answer. High school is too hard, so he thinks college will be easier. What will he do when college is 'too hard'? You'll spend $9000 and he'll drop out after the first month.
Tell him when he gets his credits, he can go. When he's figured out a way to pay for at least tuition, he can go. You can offer to help, but you are not helping your son by paying for everything, then mandating his life so that he succeeds. He could get those credits in summer school, he could take extra credits during the school day (since most seniors wind up on short days anyway after reaching their credits)
Good luck. If you are already willing to baby him until he's 40, you have a tough row to hoe. He's not going to straighten up until he realizes that you aren't going to do everything for him.
Your son needs to take responsibilitiy for his own actions at some point, he needs to know that playing x-box and not doing his laundry will not get him far in life, and he can't live at home forever, help your son to grow up and be a man, explain to him that your willing to help him but he needs to be a willing to help himself, that you will consider helping if he gets a job and finish his education. He needs to show you just how bad he wants to go to this school. Is the school $9,000 or $900.00 a month either way he needs to help with the added expense.
Tell him that if he continues to do what he is doing you won't pay for the school and he has to move out. That should give him a wake up call.
I was in a similar situation when I was that age. I dropped out of highschool my sophomore year and tried homeschooling but that didn't work. Finally I got my GED and started nursing school when I was 16 yrs old. It worked out for me. I also had a passion for nursing and took it much more seriously than I took highschool. I did graduate from nursing school. Another deal my parents made with me was that they would not pay for ANY of my schooling. They figured if I was serious enough, I would pay for it, which I did. I had a job all through school, and paid my own bills. I have also been a pretty good student, highschool was just too much for me. I wasn't rebellious, didn't do drugs, I was just depressed. I have always had good grades, so it wasn't a matter if college was too hard for me, just if I would take it seriously. So my point is, if you feel your son might try a little harder in culinary school give it a shot. If he is passionate he will try harder than he does in highschool. Also, maybe try making him pay for it. Are there loans you can get? Maybe have him paying the monthly payment. Just show him if you are dropping out of highschool it's time to see the real world and act like an adult. Because that's what happens when you quit highschool, you start your life! I hope I helped a little bit, sorry it's so long.
First he needs to earn the privelege to go to such a good, expensive school. He needs to start by getting a job. If you always pay his way he will never learn and you will produce a loser. Think about what kind of man you want him to become, it's time he start acting like a man. He needs to take responsibility before you help him. Please don't send another deadbeat man into this world.
Tell him he has to start going to bed at an earlier time and then he can go to the culinary school. If he falls behind make sure to tell him he'll have to get a job in order to pay for his schooling because you won't pay for it.
Be a "great mom." Diploma equals culinary school! Period!
He does understand his future yet, you do.
Most schools offer an "alternative class" to catch up on your credits and still graduate on time. Ask at your son's high school.
Best of luck!
Mother of three, and worked with "At-risk" children in high school.
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