Which last name?
Answer:
Give the baby your last name... unless the father ends up marrying you. It doesn't make sense to me when not married women give their children the father's last name... cause you can never tell what will happen, and it's easier to change it to his name later, than FROM his last name to yours.
It is not that he is more important, but when the child grows up, he/she needs to know about what sort of diseases, etc, may be inherited. I know a person who was given a last name that had nothing to do with mother or father and this person is confused about self identity.
He's not more important... Its a personal choice and you will just have to brush the people off who seem to think that the baby MUST have his last name... Trust me, If my last name wasn't the hardest thing EVER to pronounce I would be giving it to my baby, however I have chosen to go with the father's last name because it is much easier to say and read... (my last name is Kraszewski- see my point)
i don' really get your question, but im going to give it a try.
get a really unusual name like Gianmarco or Vreeland
hope i helped
I believe that it is truly your decision on the last name of your child, you are the one that is giving them life, so you should ultimately have the decision, i just had a baby and I gave him the fathers last name but that is because we are together and I am planning on marrying him someday, but if you have no plans of being with the father you can either use your last name, or hyphenate the last name with your name and then the fathers.
It does not matter if you want your last name now days. If the father isn't around don't use his last name I wouldn't. In your situation I would use yours.
If you give the baby your partners last name and then you split up, you would have to ask his permission if you wanted to change it. What are the chances of him giving you permission!
If you give the baby your name and then you get married and change your name, you can change your baby's name without having to ask anyones permission.
You should do what you feel is right.
If the father is not around anymore, I would give the baby your last name. If the father is still in the picture and you plan on marrying him, then I would give the baby the father's last name.
If you are not married, you have absolutely NO responsibility to give your child his or her father's last name. It is much easier to have the same last name as your child. Also, you are giving birth and taking care of this child so it's YOUR choice and right to name the baby whatever you want.
See exactly you do everything but barely he does....I don't know
The man is not more important and you can choice the last name because you are not married. My husband and I were not married when we had our first child and I choose to give her his last name becasue we wanted to stay together and we were planning on marrying eventually. And I knew him well enough to know that even if we didn't stay together that he would still be around to take care of our baby girl with me. Now, my friend on the other has two kids out of wedlock and from two different people and the first one has the last name of his father even though they broke up a few times before and after the baby was born but she knew he would always be there no matter what. Now with the second one the father barely comes around and they don't get a long that well so she used her last name for him. So, it is totally up to the mother if she is not married. Make your own decision bassed on how you feel about the father of the baby. Is he going to be there whether you two are a couple or not? And do you want to marry him in the future cause then you might want the baby to have his last name. Well good luck in your decision making and I hope all goes well.
My oldest son has my last name because I didn't know if his dad and I would be together. Our next two kids have his last name since we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. If our oldest wants to change his last name it will be his choice. I like my last name.
Why not hyphenate your two last names? I know someone who did that. Like let's say his name is Smith and yours is Jones. The baby can be Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones. Just use the name you chose and test both last names. Choose the better sounding one.
It's not that big of a deal. You can give your child your last name if you want to. That sort of thing used to be a bigger deal than it is now. Children who were born out of wedlock used to be looked down upon and so if they did not have their father's name, they were considered lesser than other people. That is no longer the case, so whichever name you want the child to have then that is the name you should give him or her. Good Luck.
You could always hyphenate. If the father is not going to be around then give the baby your last name. Who cares what other people think. Do what is right to you.
My best friend has a daughter that uses her last name and she is still married to the father. I think if you want your child to have your last name then that is your choice. The main reasons the child takes the fathers last name (in my opinion) is so your ansestors can be tracked and so the fathers last name can continue. If you are the one that is there for your child and the father is not an important person to the child then I don't see what would be wrong with it. But keep in mind that the childs last name is a conection to the father and the fathers family. And like you said.the child will always be connected to you so if the last name is the only thing the child has then the father is the one that is missing out and not you. You are the childs provider, guardian, and mother.what is better than that? A last name is only a that...A NAME!
Personally I believe that the child should have your last name if you and the father are not married and the child will be living with you. The child won't want to be "different" than other people in the house. You can always change the child's name later on if you get married, or the child wants to have its fathers name.
My husband has a 12 year old that he had in high school. His son does not have his last name. This was the mothers choice since they were so young when he was born. My husband is a great father and sees his son all the time. I feel that since he is the father and he is in his life that he should have his name. Especally since the mother is now married and the son has neither his moms or his dad's name. Sometimes the dad will be around forever too.
He is not more important. It's a matter of lineage. Back in the day when people were grouped, the woman went with the provider. She was the nurturer. So she was no longer counted as so & so's daughter, but became so & so's wife. In this day and age any of us can be the provider. So our last name can be whatever we want. Don't worry, whatever you pick you can be sure at some point your kid will make up their own mind about what they want to be called. Meantime, make a decision based on reality, not emotion. Think about the legalities.
one of the many cool things about being the mom is that you get to decide ;-]
I gave my daughter my boyfriends last name for a couple of reasons. I don't have any special attachment to my own and I don't have any family. He was so very proud and she has a large family here with that last name. I talked to several friends who divorced and kept and didn't keep their married names. No one seems to care anymore, it's a personal preference.
It's just the way it has been done. If the mother isn't married then the baby gets her last name, if the mother is married then the baby get's his last name.
My brother and his wife have 3 kids -- they gave them all her last name as a second middle name and my brother's last name for a last name.
My nephews are:
Maxwell Robert-Dieteman Hanson
Joseph Marlow-Dieteman Hanson
Anthony Marc-Dieteman Hanson.
Also, my other brother has 2 girls and a boy. Their son has her last name for a middle name - Matthew Lindell Hanson.
Hope this helps! :)
you know that you could always hyphenate right? lots of people do that...
you can give your baby your last name, or you might change to your husband last name too.
I will not change my last name but my baby is going to have her dad's last name.
I have no problem with that. the main thing is the love that you give and receive.
that is only a name ...
but that is me.
you can talk with your husband and make your mind
if you feel that the daddy not going to be in the baby life give the baby your last name but if he is you might consider giving the
baby the dads last man my lil girl has my last name cause her dad walk out on me when i was pregnet with her .with my son he has his daddy last name we are together .dont worry about
what other people say it up to you it your baby .
Good thing to do is when u got married to change YOUR last name to HIS last name, and then the Baby has BOTH of your last names! I Personally am Honored to get my Husbands Last name, and also give them to our future Children.
you should let the baby have your last name CZ I'm in the same place when my mom was pregnant wit me every1 say give me my dads last name n at the end she gave me her last name and yes it hurts his feeling but if your putting in the work then it really shouldn't matter
I think that we've been brought up this way...like all the children take the last names of our fathers because we will be the ones carrying on their last name...if you're traditional then i think you should give your baby the fathers last name..but now a days.. everyone has different last names...I know in my culture we MUST take the last names of the fathers to carry on his tribe/culture etc..its really up to you ;)
If the father isn't going to be around I wouldn't give the baby his last name. If you plan on getting married and taking his last name just save the time and trouble and give the baby his last name.
Perhaps you could use his name as the baby's middle . or you could hyphenate... it's completely up to you and don't let anyone make you feel bad if you choose for the baby to have only your name. There's no law or rule that says he has to be named after the father. Good luck =)
I think that the last name is very important. When my mom married my step-dad, I started going by his last name, even though my last name was her maiden name. When they had kids, I was the only one in the family who wasn't really one of them because my legal name was different from theirs. But I still used it on anything other than legal docs, because it made me a part of the family. I would say that if the father isn't going to be a part of the baby's life, why make his name a part of the baby's life. Give the baby YOUR last name, because baby is a part of YOUR family.
Your best bet would be to give baby both names (hyphenated). Hyphenated names alway sound very distinguished to me. Even if the dad won't be around as much as you, baby is still part him too. You do not want to short change junior in any way. But I definitley thin your name should be in there too!
Best of luck!
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.