Single mom of 2 (16and12) and preg. again!?
Answer:
Wow- you and I are alot alike. Hopefully I can help.
I am also a 33 year old single mom of three daughters. My third daughter was born 5 weeks ago. Her father left me when I was newly pregnant, and has only been a heartbreak and a headache since. He does not help emotionally or financially. I could only work part-time because of my job, and was laid off two weeks before her birth because they could not afford to keep me. So it's been incredibly tough financially for me. I do have alot of family support emotionally and financially, and I am getting some support from the government. I suggest seeking help from family if you can, or move closer to family if they live far away. Possibly get a job that you can have during pregnancy until you can go back to your current one. And look into your state's help for single mothers. I currently have WIC, which pays for the formula I need. They will also pay for some foods if you plan to breastfeed and will pay for some foods during pregnancy if you need them. You can also get insurance through your state to cover the prenatel care and birth, and cover your child after birth as well. I had private insurance thankfully, but I now have my daughter covered under a insurance offered by the state for low income families. I know that my current financial state will only be this way for a short amount of time, and I will be back on my feet once my daughter is old enough for child care (and I just found out the state will help me with this if I need it in the beginning). It's not humiliating for me, because I know the system was put in place for my type of situation. And her well- being is much more important. Seek emotional support online as well. There are alot of websites with member support groups. This sort of thing happens more often the you would think, and there are alot of women in similar situations as ours. It helps to talk and relate to each other.
With that said, there is an emotional side to all of this that is tough. Take it one day at a time, and focus on the goal...which is having a healthy child that you and your girls will adore. Pregnancy is tough in general, it's even harder doing it on your own...but it's completely worth it, I promise! I don't know your situation with the father, but if you are hoping he will come around one day...he might, but in the long run, you will be okay if he doesnt. Just keep breathing and try to enjoy your pregnancy. When you look back on it, you will be amazed at how fast time flew by, and how strong you have become.
I don't know what to say other then I wish you the best in life.
My advice to you is to do what you feel is right. If you want to have this baby then take a leave of abscence, but don't go over board with your leave so you can support your family.Maybe talk to your 16 year old about maybe gettinga parttime job, and your 12 year old a paper route or something.Anything to get you guys through this time. If they are really supportive of you having this baby then what ever works to get you through surviving! And as for the babies father he had a hand in it reguardless of his "OTHER OBLIGATIONS" He needs to step up to the plate! He had a hand in this too so he should do whatever is necessary to support you and your unborn child!
GOOD LUCK I HOPE THIS HELPED!and CONGRATS!!
well i would start with the children first. let them know how you feel and explain tho them what your choice would have on your relationship. then get some feedback from them to see how they feel. (you never know they might be the best support group you have) then talk to the father and see how much support he thinks -- not you -- is sufficient. if the other obligations are what i think you mean then there might be some tension there that you don't need. then look for ways to supplement your income. there are different agencies out there that might help for both the short and long term. no mater what don't base your decision on fear. you probably brought those two kids up on your own you can do the same for this one.
Best wishes and good luck.
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