I want to get pregnant but i am 17?
i want to get rid of these feeling because i dont need to be having a kid, but i want to really badly, my boyfriend and i have been talking about it!!
i dont know if i will ever really get over my baby dying unless i get pregnant, but i know it isnt the right time!
anyone have any ideas on how to help me
Answer:
What you feeling is definitely a natural response to a loss. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to replace a loss. Both my Sister and my Ex-Wife went through this and to be honest both of them ended up having another baby to fill the void that was left there. The key to fixing that void at the right time is to decide if your doing it for you or for your potential child. I am a single dad of a wonderful five year old little boy and have struggled for the past 4 years (since I gained full custody) trying to give him what I think he deserves. As much as I love him if I could have waited until I had somewhat of a financial rock to stand on and still have had the same wonderful child ...I would have. Sometimes I hate pulling up to school and wishing that he could get out of a nice vehicle like so many of the other kids do. I wish he could live in a nice house..not a big house..just a normal avg sized house with a back yard and a trampoline. I wish I had the educational background to provide. Fact is, is that I have a GED and do pretty well for a guy that has a GED. But its not good enough to have what I would like for him. You know all the regular stuff that the other kids have...playstation 2, heelies (shoes with wheels on them), and other things that some consider to be standard. I am by no means materialistic..and I understand that the loving relationship that I do currently have with my Son is a million times more important than any of those things...but it does hurt at times. In conclusion I suppose that the real question is not are you ready to have a child but are you ready to provide for a child. And I mean on your own. There's nothing worse than living at home with a child. Trust me on this one I've been there. But like I said..Can you give the child the satisfaction and quality of life that he or she deserves... and if you cant and have one any way...I guarantee that YOU will NOT have the satisfaction and quality of life that YOU deserve. I'm not saying that you cant have a happy life..but it will not be easy.. You will be in a constant up hill battle that seems to be never ending in an effort to provide both physically and emotionally... Progression turns from focusing on work or school and into parenting...Not to mention it would appear that it is harder to get a date when your a single parent.scratch that .I should have said it is harder to get a second date when you have a child. And trully a child deserves to grow up with a MOM and DAD in the same home. I hope this gives you real life insight on how it really is...and let me just tell you..we have barely scratched the surface.take some time to do some things for your self first and then have one...they are really wonderful! Lee
DONT...enjoy being able to go out and have fun...being stuck at home and having all that responsibility would be a waste of ur young yrs
You should really wait until you're finished with school/university/job training. I feel sorry for your loss, but the world has enough teenage welfare queens already.
Wait a few years, and get a dog in the meantime,
You're 17! You're a baby! You still have school to finish, who says the BF won't cut and run after the kid is here and leave you alone? It'll ruien your life, why is a baby having a baby? I don't understand thge need to 'grow up' so fast.
Tina, get yourself on the right track first, comtinute your education and get a good job. You need to support yourself before you can another human that depends soley on you for its well being. Your friend may be happy now. But when she wants to go out and can't, it'll be a different tune. She won't get much sleep at night either.
Why would you want to ruin what's left of your teenage years with that kind of commitment. Live your life, learn and mature. You'll be doing your future children a huge favor if you wait a couple of years at least.
Have you tried just supporting yourself first? I would try that first before becoming anotrher statistic. If you want to love a child, get yourself in a position where you can care for the child and give the child a better chance to make it.
get a job or go back to school
Get Counseling at somewhere like Planned Parenthood, your church, etc.
Find something to do to fulfill that void, besides having a child. Having a baby is a huge decision.
You don't need a child at 17. It is the hardest job ever. You will never again have free time, NEVER. So you will have to give up on going out with friends because all your money will be used on your child. you have plenty of years ahead of you and when the time is right, it will happen.
ever thought that 17 isn't the right age for this? it is not good
the only person that can take the sting out of death is Jesus Ask Him to come in your heart
I WOULD NOT RUSH. DO YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR OWN PLACE AND JOBS ? WHATS THE HARM IN WAITING AWHILE !!
I can see why you are jealous. You do not want to get pregnant though. You don't want to because when she is taking care of that baby all of the time, she won't have time to hang out with any of her friends just like you won't have time for your friends when you have a baby.
Wait until your older and you can afford to raise a child
Have a baby.please do and keep the memory of your baby girl with you always but NOT right now you are still so very young.
Right now get an education, live your life (with protection) and get Conselling for your loss...
Having another baby is NOT going to cure the hurt and pain...pray, have faith and get help and be and make somthing awesome of YOUSELF in her name...Be your very BEST to be able to be a really good Mom later
Also, remember your words have power so speak into the world and life what YOU do want in your life, then work on it one step at a time
a new pregnancy is not going to get rid of your hurt for your first baby. Secondly if you want to be "everything" for you child then you will wait. The type of life that you can provide your child right now is not nearly as great as if you waited till after you are finished school and have a good job. I suggest going to a counsellor to help you cope with your loss.
All the best
Replace the emptiness with something else.
Finish high-school, go to University get a job and then worry about getting married (or being in a partnership) and having a child.
The real world isn't very kind to young mothers (it never has been). But from a financial standpoint of being able to provide everything you need to for your proposed little one you simply don't have the assets at 17.
Wow, I am certain you are going to get TONS of DONT answers and mine wont be any different.
Baby's at your age should be the last thing on your mind. You wont get the start in adult life you should get and will regret the decision throughout your entire twenties and thirties. Especially when you see your childless friends partying every weekend.
I am sorry for your loss and understand how you are feeling but no, having another baby wont help you feel better, you will always feel the loss of your first.
Finally, if your friend just had a baby, why don't you borrow it for a few days, I know she will be more than willing to get the break and you and your boyfriend will get a taste of parenthood.
I understand where you are coming from. But If you want to be everything for your kids, you need a strong base to hold them up. People are not joking when they say that kids are hard work. I have one myself, and I want to be the best for my daughter, by going to school, and taking care of her at the same time. Trust me, you need to work on yourself, and make sure that you are financially stable and emotionally stable before you decide to have another child
You need to get help for your depression. A baby is not and should not be the cure for that. You know the right thing to do is wait. Get help!
please wait just a few more years. you will have your moment but someone is telling you to wait. listen to the sign.your still in school and probably live home. not a good idea and trust me if you think dad will be around for ever at that age.when you wake up its going to be awful.you feel bad now wait trust me it can get worse. get a pet a baby so you have to take care of it and love it to.i think that would help. you want to nuture right now
STUPID! NO! WHAT IS UR PROBLEM?
Your only 17. We are the same exact age. Your life will never be the same. My mother got pregnant with my older brother who is 20, when she was 16. She dropped out of school. And never finished high school. And she never went to college. If you feel as though you do not want to be anything in life, then do it. But if you really want to be something in life and make a life for your baby, wait and go to school. So, u can make the big bucks.
Enjoy other people's babies and be patient. You're mourning now and mourning is a bad time to make any decisions.
You can heal yourself a little by babysitting and working in daycare. Some of your romantic notions of having a baby will wear off when you find out how hard and tiring it is. Parenting isn't just having someone to love, it's having someone to clean up, feed, stay up all night with, wipe spills, take to the doctor, sweep up puke, listen to screaming, have to spend all your money on... oh so many things that aren't so romantic and lovey.
You're young and you have plenty of time. Don't you want to have a baby you can fully focus on and give the best life to? Then wait until you are in a position to do that. Get your education and get a career that means something to you. Become the best mother you could offer a child BEFORE you become one, because once you have that baby, you won't be able to get around to making your life better. And that's not fair to the child.
You are too young. You can not replace the baby you want by having another..children are a gift from God, and irreplaceable. You need to enjoy this time in your life so that when you do become a mother, you truly can give everything to your child. Your baby is going to want that from you.
don,y get pregnant too many teens have baby's and end up getting rid of then from a adoption agencies you need to what at less 19 or21 years old to take care of a child, they need breath milk to develop the brain it they don,t they get mentally disabled. so waght 2 or 4 years.i was adopted and it was hell.
you're nuts i feel sypathetic for you i do but if it was meant for you to have a baby god whould of let you have it and when its time for a new one god will give it to you ! jealously is ugly and people can see your demeanor, if you was a so called good mother you would not be trying to have your baby to fill your emptiness because thats not why people have babies. They have them to create families or god chooses whose ready for a gift of child . know that you never choose and you're 17 and you have a lot to accomplish ands it's easier alone at least at that age love, a teenage mom
Don't be in any rush to have children. They are a full time responsibility and will take years out of your young life. Enjoy your youth for a while and than think about starting a family when you are a little older
NOOOOOOOO. Please Please Please wait. I know you think you are grown and can make your own decisions, but please wait a few years. You are still young, go to school make something of yourself. When it's time for you to have a baby, you want your child to have the best in life, right? Get married, experience things in the world, travel, do all the things now that you won't be able to do with a baby. Trust me I know. I had my daughter that young, and God knows I love her, but I should've waited. Just think about it thoroughly. It's not easy.
Sweetie...that must have been hard on you. I lost twins so I know. I am going to sound like a mom for a min. ok? The best thing that you can do is get as much schooling as possible. Allow your body to finish maturing. Yes, you can make babies.but can you truly give one the best life at so young of age, in this expensive world where ed. is highly prized. When I lost my twins it was hard. You will heal. Your hormones will calm. You will be ok. What ever decision you make it is yours. But, remember...being a mom is the hardest job in the world. There is no doubt that you would make a loving and caring mother.
I'm sure one day you will make a wonderful mother but for now you need to get your education, and seek a career job. It doesn't just take love but money to raise a child. It would only be fair on the child if you was in the position where you could actually afford them. Think about it ok. ;o)
Losing a baby hurts and it doesn't go away I've lost 2 but waiting and having your baby when you are ready ...emotionaly and financialy and your with someone who is your everything will be well worth it. And being in the right place when you have your baby will allow you to enjoy them even more because you will be less stressed and more balanced. I'm 21 and my husband and I have been married for 2 years now but we did start trying before we were married and even though we would have loved any child that we were blessed with now that we are married and committed and have good jobs and our own home this is the right time for us. Wait until you find your right time don't do it to fill a void it's the not the solution you need.
Hope this helps.
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