WHY do women try & get pregnant when their situation REALLY isn't conducive to raising a child?!?
i really don't get it! why would they want to bring a child into those situations? i understand wanting a child badly, i've wanted a kid since i was 18 or so, but i've waited until i can actually RAISE one in a STABLE environment before even getting off birth control-which i JUST did this week--and i'm almost 28!!
can someone explain why these people are like this? or do they make all of us responsible adults shake our heads in disbelief?
Answer:
I think some girls equate motherhood with being in control and being the one that makes the decisions. I know that my mother was 16 when I was born and all she could think of at that time was getting away from the difficult situation she was in with her parents (by marrying someone to take her away from it) and showing her parents how it should be done, by having her own children. Seldom do the 16 year olds really know what they are getting themselves into, but I think this is often the motivation.
Peace!
PS - it was my mother's plan. She did it on purpose. It was a way out of a difficult situation. Of course at that age she could not really understand that it was going from one difficult situation to another, but that is what she thought. I am now almost 40 and my mother and I are the best of friends - the small age gap between us has been a blessing for us - and she has said again and again that our close friendship is the one thing that has made a lot of the pain in her life bearable.
The bottom line is you will never understand those women unless you can walk in their shoes - and it is a hard hard road they walk. The rest of us can count ourselves lucky that we never needed to make that choice.
PPS - you say it yourself you "are pretty sure you will be a better mother". We all are. It's very easy from the vantage point of the not yet mother to say that. It is easy to read the books and prepare. We have no idea how hard it is to be a parent until we are one - and we must be as kind as we can to and about others if we expect them to be the same for us in our hardest hour.
mabe they feel better!
Cuz girls wanna be moms'n
Ask The Parents
Thank GOD for differences!
We think a child will make things better.
By the way I think having a child at any age is selfish in a way, but also a desire to be responsible.
The only explanation is immaturity, selfishness, and maybe a bit of stupidity mixed in. Responsible adults have been shaking their heads for years and it doesn't look like we are gonna stop anytime soon.
some people just really don't think of the consequences, or how hard it is going to be to raise a child! they just dont think at all...
Well simple they need someone in there life that will love them no matter what and kids will always love there parents no matter how they were treated by them or how they were raised and the parent needs that love to help them through rough times pretty much the parent is using the kid for love and the child gets gipped and in a way will grow up a better person or atleast more determinded to out do there parents and how they lived. Or peopkle are just dumb its how ever you spin it
Some people just don't have the brains God gave a goose; or anything else for all that matters.
cause sometimes common sense is very uncommon I guess...
I think that the practice is selfish and ignorant. I also think that society encourages things like that because it has been made acceptable. When we as a society opened up to accept pregnancy out of wedlock, we opened ourselves up to what we have spawned.
WHy does it matter? Just because your 28 and trying to be a mom doesnt make you any better at parenting then it does a 16 year old. There is always going to be something to learn..and most people do hit postpartum pretty bad...Bad things happen sometimes to girls who are 14 and 16 and sometimes they do end up pregnant..but that doesnt mean they dont love there children and bust there butts to support them...even if its in a fastfood place...they try to get by just like anyone else. Even if you have a husband and your finacially stable doesnt mean its always going to be that way. Just because your married it doesnt mean that you have anymore then they do. Y ou could be extremly unhappy in your marriage and get pre3gnant your husband could be a drunk...he might not work...he could be on drugs...he might even mess around with other girls...Just because your older...and you have a little m ore commen sense doesnt make it right...shake your head in disbelief but not all underage people are bad parents...we love to spend time with our kids and cherish the little things they do. We take pride in flipping that burger for 6.25 an hour so they can have a brand new pair of shoes...yeah we chose a harder life but we deal with it...so shake your head somewhere else.cause i bust my butt for what i got.
maybe they want "unconditional love", they have low self esteem and do not believe anyone will love them for them
or they heard raising children is the most important job, and they can do it without any special training or going to college and having a real job.
they want to keep the man around and think that even if it is just for the man to visit his child and pay child support, thats better than nothing.
your line about "illegal immigrants" is offensive, I think lots of american girls do this too
why is this allowed? I thought having sex with someone under 18 is statutory rape or at least contributing to delinquency. maybe women should get in trouble for this equally as the man.
I'm not sure why people never think ahead or anything its like they just don't care until it happens Duh. The parents gotta start atleast telling them some bad things that can happen in their life. My parents never told me anything but I still knew not to get a chick pregnant and was very catious. These are the people who quit a job before finding another one while in debt or live off welfare forever. Your answer is stupidity and lazyness
Girls like these are often thinking that having a baby will help them keep their man or that a baby is the only thing that can provide them with love. Some women though are able to be great moms and make things work for their children at young ages.
Some young women's mother instinct kick in far earlier and they dont think of anyones life but hers and that childs...they are in search of an unbreakable bond. They think having that child will solve any trials and troubles that come from relationships.
Its unbelievable i would say... these young girls want to have babies when they are just babies themselves. They dont understand that having a child is not easy...if the baby crys and crys n crys they cant just switch it off like a toy and its all okay...They dont think that once you have a baby thats it everything you did in the past is gone now the attention is on this baby, its a full time job, i think the majority of these young girls having these babies were by "accident" .but then again some plan it to get government money too like a baby bonus and thats just wrong...its like $3000 - $5000 a baby
they may be from a dysfunctional family.
they need to love and to be loved .
A baby loves unconditionally
Us guys have a part in it...a hot teen says let's do it and what is a guy gonna say? Let's wait 'til you're 22, done with college and have started a wonderful career of your own.
No.
I'm not necessarily saying EVERY guy is scum, but I'd probably hit it myself. (On the other hand, I at least know to take care of my responsibilities including the whole marriage/family thing.)
The worst thing is these teen boys with no job, no home of their own and not even a car knocking up another teen.
who do you think you are? think you're better than other mothers because you planned your children and now your life is perfect? why are you so judgmental? sometimes life happens (meaning babies), and people just deal with situations the best they can and with what they have. don't ever take your perfect life for granted, someday you could be faced with a very difficult situation. don't judge, everyone has a story to tell, a cross to bear, you just don't know it.
why are you so obsessed with unwed teenage mothers who PURPOSELY give birth? you sound creepy...like those psycho, barren women who steal babies...claiming that the mothers weren't fit to raise a child.maybe you should mind your own business.
I guess some girls feel that getting pregnant is their solution to leave the house. They feel that life at home with mom and dad is so bad that they have to go out and get themselves pregnant and use that as an excuse to leave home. They get pregnant in hopes the father will marry them or take them in and have this illusion that they will be one big happy family. Next thing you know, father beats on mom and mom wants to go back home with the child. ive seen it happen so many times.
because they are retards
exucse me lady but i was 16 when i gave birth to my son - it was an "accident" i guess but i wouldn't change it for anything and guess what i'm 28 just like you giving birth to my 2nd child in a month I am still with my son's father, we have been married 8 years! Babies are not an accident even if a mother plans it, they are God's creation and I think you need to stop judgeing others - you don't even have child - wait until you see what a chalange it can be at times - regaurdless of your age!
I know! I don't understand it either.
They are just waaay too young and immature to have any understanding of the commitment and work involved in raising a child.
They have this romanticized vision of being a "Mommy" in their heads, playing dress up with real live cute little baby dolls. They never consider illnesses, late night feedings, endless diaper changing, loss of freedom, loss of opportunities, loss of youth.
Even something as simple as a grocery shopping expedition become exponentially more complex when you have a baby to lug along.
They have some idealized vision of a happy 50's family and they'll get married and have a home and be a happy little homemaker, never realizing that these boys have NO interest in that and even if they do, they are just a clueless as the girls.
They have no understanding how crucial it is to get an education in order to have a future in which they can afford to have this lovely dream.
The reality of living in a stink-hole apartment (IF you're lucky) or more likely with your parents, still under their rules and collecting a minimal amount of welfare, food-stamps and whatever, never enters their mind either.
It's an epidemic and they need to start being educated on the FACTS of life at a much younger age. Not just being lectured to in highschool about abstinence.
I am 37 and am JUST NOW feeling ready in other areas of my life (financially, career, relationship, emotionally) to start a family.
To answer your question, these girls are inmature and selfish. They know having a baby will get them all kinds of WIC, welfare, child support (for some), food stamps, government housing, etc. OR they will just stay home and live off of their parents.
of course, there are a few teens that get pg and live up to their responsibilities.
But IMHO, there is no such thing as an *accidental* pregnancy. (except in cases of rape)
If you have sex, you can get pregnant. IT IS THAT SIMPLE!
and get a clue girls, it isn't an accident the next 7 times it happens! Birth control works if you use it. If one kind doesn't work, use a different kind and use another kind for back up.
and abstinance works 100%!
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