African American People.?
Answer:
I think it's a mistake to blame the child, as JR did above. A child of 2 is NOT a racist, no matter what words come out of his mouth. He knows not what he says or does. Children have no conscience and therefore, are not capable of malice. However, I'm curious as to how your child got that in his head. YOU may not have said that in front of him, but maybe your husband or some extended family members have modeled that in front of your child. Also, if you have older children, they may bring home that kind of talk and attitudes from school, where they are exposed to even older children up to 5th grade.
It's important to make sure that you not only set a good example for your child, but that you manage his environment (tv, movies, etc.) and the people with whom he associates carefully, especially during these formative years up until age 6.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. It makes me want to cry thinking about how that African-American woman must have felt after your son's remark. At least you had the guts not to slink away in shame and you apologized instead. That's all you could do at the time and now moving forward with the proper education of your children is the order of the day.
God bless.
I have bi-racial children, and my son used to point out the differences in skin tone when he was younger. "look she is the same color as daddy" or "she is the same color as you". Never would my children call someone else a monkey! The fact that your child is 2 does not give him an excuse to not be able to tell the difference between a human being and an animal. Does he not watch tv? cartoons? Its not a judgemental child that you would have on your hands but a racist child. In my opinion there is NO excuse for this type of behavior. It seems to be a total lack of respect!
In RE: to Margaret W's reply, I am not blaming the child at all. Children are sponges and soak up everything. I have however raised two children, one 7 and one now 3 and I know how intelligent they are at 2. It is MY OPINION that the child should be aware of what is a monkey and what isn't a monkey. A child at 2, from my experience, assuming other circumstances don't apply, knows manners and what is right and what is wrong. You have your opinion and so do I.
I can certainly understand your embarrassment. Regarding how we feel about it, our first assumption is certainly that it must have come from either the parents, other authoritive adults or other siblings. They have to learn it from somewhere at that age. How the parents respond determine how we might interpret the event. If your apology was sincere, then it definitely helped. It still stings because you don't really expect it, but a 2-year old can certainly be graced for the offense. My son has asked questions and made observations about other ethnicities, but because he is surrounded by a balanced mix of races (a CA school), he was four years old before he even realized he was different from others.
I read different stories to him that deal positively with race and gender differences on his level, and of course there is a constant racial mix on any number of kids programs and cartoons, so it's difficult for kids not to be exposed to various races. Age 2 still has a long way to go before permanent ideas are formed, so I believe your child's words came from an innocent place. Good luck to you!
being 2 is not a license to call someone a bad name regardless of race. the child must have heard someone else say that because a 2 yr old does not know what it means.
Y'all need to be more careful about what you say in front of the kids .
Try the library to find books about different races and perhaps some videos as well.
Children tend to live what they learn. What he said was innocent but it was innocent because he doesnt know the effect it has. It was repeated trust me, if not from you then someone he spends time with. You need to teach him about the varieties of humanity and their appearances. White, Asian,Indian, Latino etc. Let him know that the differences are only on the outside.
Mother of a 20 month old bi-racial child, I bought books that pointed out the traits of different racial features. I review these features, just like the crying, laughing, smiling nad so on. In hopes that he may notice & take these lessons in. You may want to do research with your child. For example, try using animals as well. Each animal is different & so are their off spring with different fur, colors, so on.
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