What if ur kid was adopted and she wants to met her mom?
Answer:
if shes over 13 i'd say you should let her. you cant keep her biological parents from her forever. when she's 18 she gets to find out and do what ever she wants. it has to be very difficult for some children in that spot because there is always natural curiosity, you want to know where you came from, what they look like. it helps one with their identity to know oh i have this freckl/mole just like everyone else in my biological family does. i'd say talk to her openly about it and let her do what she thinks shes ready for...unless you truely belive shes not ready to handel that.
also wanted to add my cousin was put up for addoption and my aunt never told anyone. unfortunalty my aunt then passed away and when her biological daughter was 18 she came looking for her bio mom but she was dead. it was really sad we all got to meet my cousin and that was great but i know it would have been better for all invovled if we'd all known. secrets seem to hurt people more in the end.
let her!
Just make sure she's the real mother and the kid will be well taken cared of just like you did...
wait until your child is 18. Then tell em. Then legally (in my province) they can make their own decision on their own if they want to contact or not.
It's a natural desire to want to know where you came from. Don't lie to her. If you are a good parent, telling her the name of her biological mother isn't going to change anything.
Tell her the name. Let her know that you'll always love her no matter what she decides to do with the information. Also let her know that you'll always be her mom no matter what happens.
tell her what harm can it do put it this way would you want to no your mum if you didnt besides she loves you and she always will but she needs to no
She has the right to know who her mother is. Don't be scared. If you have been a good mother to you she will not want to replace you. You cannot own her, shes a human being. Give her this gift and she will love you more for it.
tell her but dont let her meet her real "mother". you are her mother. she doesnt need another one to confuse her more. the truth is that the other woman gave birth to her, but she is not her real mother. you are. tell her but dont let it go any further.
You should tell her. It is normal to want to know about your biological roots. Look how many people do geneology searches for their ancestors even when they know their parents and grandparents.
Just because she learns about or meets her parents doesn't mean that she is going to love you less. She probably feels a part of her is missing by not knowing about her biological parents.
That is probally the toughest to answer. First make sure that this is really what she wants and insure her that you do love her and you support her decision. Then proceed. If you dont help her then she will get it somewhere else and that could harm your relationship. Which no parent wants to happen. Best of Luck...
You raised her. You are her mom. Let her know her biological moms name. Let her meet her. You'll always be her mom. Remember that.
Hi, Ive seen both sides of what telling an adopted child their birth parents name. I placed a child for adoption in 1988 and when she turned 16 her adopted parents told her my name but only first and she got very emotional. Also by her choice I met her 2 years ago and it went good for a while but then it got overwhelming for both of us and the adoptive family. Then again in 1994 I placed a child for adoption and the child knew from the begining who I was and now I have a 6 week old son that she wants to be a part of his life. If you telll your child the name only tell her the first name but sit her down and speak with her about why you adopted them and if you know why the birth parent placed them for adoption tell them. There will be alot of questions asked but be prepared it can be overwhelming for you also along with the whole family. Good luck. If you want you can contact me by email bout it more and i can give you more ideas on how to approach this life altering situation. Tiigger-n-abbi@hotmail.com
I WAS ALSO AN ADOPTED AS A CHILD. MY PARENTS TOLD ME ABOUT THIS FROM THE TIME I COULD UNDERSTAND. I ALWAYS SAID THAT I WAS A CHOSEN CHILD. MY MOTHER TOLD ME MY BIRTH NAME AND ALSO GAVE ME MY ADOPTION PAPERS WITH MY BIRTH NAME ON IT. YOU DIDN'T SAY HOW OLD YOUR CHILD IS. LET THE CHILD GROW WITH THE IDEA. WHEN IT IS TIME, AND ONLY YOUR CHILD WILL KNOW WHEN IT IS TIME, HE/SHE WILL DO SOME MAJOR ASKING. PLEASE BE PATIENT. THE MORE TIME YOU TAKE IN EXPLAINING THE SITUATION (WHATEVER IT MAY BE) THE EASIER IT WILL BE ON BOTH OF YOU. YOU CAN REST ASSURED THAT EVENTUALLY YOUR CHILD WILL WANT TO EITHER KNOW ABOUT OR FIND THEIR BIOLOGICAL MOTHER. IT'S ONLY NATURAL. BE HONEST. I WAS INTERESTED IN FINDING MY BIRTH MOTHER AND SAID SOMETHING TO MY MOM. I SAW THE HURT IN HER FACE AND NEVER ASKED AGAIN. I DIDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO PURSUE THE ISSUE ANY FURTHER. MOM WAS STILL HONEST IN ALL HER ANSWERS TO ME. THE ONLY TIME I REALLY NEEDED TO KNOW ANYTHING WAS WHEN I BECAME PREGNANT AND HAD A TERRIBLE TIME. I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT MY MEDICAL BACKGROUND WAS LIKE. WHEN YOUR CHILD IS OLD ENOUGH, (GROWN) AND THE RECORDS AREN'T SEALED, BE HELPFUL AND POINT YOUR CHILD IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. GOOD LUCK AND AS AN ADOPTED CHILD, THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE THAT WOULD HAVE HAD A TOUGH LIFE. GOD BLESS YOU.
i think that's it important for kids to know where they come from i think you should tell her and just stand by her side and support her and you are her mom she need you
If she wants to know let her know what you know about the mother. Its only natural for her to wonder about her birth mother. She wants to know if she looks like her, if they have the same expressions etc. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you as her mother. I have aunts and uncles who were adopted but they never had the desire to look for their birth parents. I guess everyone is different.
you should tell her because you will regret it in the future she has a right too know as much as you do... You shouldnt hide her real family from her...
Yes! You should because she did not ask to be adopted, and it would make you feel more better in the long run, children needs to be heard, loved, and to have honest parent(s) so they can live a productive life. I know she will still love you and still consider you as her mother, but in the long run, do not know her age, she will be glad to at least share her birth mother name to someone beside you. Have a Great Day!
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.