Babysitting and five month old daughter...see details?
Answer:
Compromise and let her babysit while the two of you go grab dinner somewhere close to where she lives. That way it would only be for about an hour and no unecessary driving. Every couple needs time to themselves and this could be good for all four of you.
If you are not comfortable leaving your baby with her, you stick to your guns and say no. You are the Mummy! I have a 6 month old that I will also not leave with anybody, so I know how you feel. If you do ever allow her to look after the baby, make her promise not to smoke at all whilst she has her. That might even put her off!
First thing I have to ask you is...what are you doing that you're actually making money at home? That would answer the many, MANY questions that some people post on here about the same thing!
Tell your mum no smoking in the house, PERIOD...if she agrees, or at least agrees to take a puff here and there in the bathroom with a closed door and an open window, then let her.
Do not leave your baby wit her until you are comfortable. Never do anything to/with/for your child just to keep the peace.
Since our children were breastfed, they didn't want to go to any other grownups. This bothered my mom immensely. However, in time, she got to see how incredibly beneficial it is for a child to not be apart from his/her mommy and accepted this. She never like it, tho.
does she smoke around the baby? i highly doubt it. you know she raised your hubby just fine. it's a grandparents great wish to have alone time with their grandchild. plus you need alone time with the hubby. loosen up and let her watch her.
Your MIL really wants to spend some extra time with the baby. I know it must be a little difficult for her to hear you say no. But you are the mother and this is something you and your spouse agree on! If you do not feel comfortable at this point, then you do not feel comfortable. End of story.
I may sound harsh to people like her, but my husband and I didn't learn how to say no to his mother until we had serious marital issues. I've learned our biggest problem wasn't that my MIL is a terrible person, but that we didn't learn how to set boundaries and stick to them. My point is that every married couple needs to set boundaries and stick to them!
Why don't you let her babysit while you and your husband go to dinner and a movie near where she lives. That way you two get time alone and she gets to have time with the baby. Ask her if she can refrain from smoking while the baby is there (I bet that's one of your concerns). Believe me you'll be happy for that break in the future, let the baby get use to staying with someone else while she's young so it's not so hard when she gets older.
If there are other issues and you don't think she'll take proper care of the baby, then don't leave her. But if you trust you're mother -in-law let the baby stay.
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