Concerned about my little sister and life choices she makes HELP?
Answer:
Well i would say you need to do is sit down with her and have a sister to sister heart to heart. Let her know that you don't want to try to get in her business or tell her what to do. If you come of like that's the your focus you'll never get her ti listen to you. Make like you are just curious and that's all. Ask her allot of questions, Like why she does what she does, what does she get out of it, does she care what people think, why or why not. The object being to get her to talk. And then you just listen to what she says. ask her how it makes her feel. What she probably needs is someone to talk to. You want to stay neutral and keep her talking, so you can gain perspective. and when she's through talking, or once you see opportunity to speak, tell her how you feel, tell her she's scaring you and that you are worried, that you are there for her if she needs you. Makes sure she knows she can come to you and you won't pass judgment.
At the end of the day, you can't control her or what she does, all you can do is be there to catch her when she falls, She will need you...
MAURY!! Seriously i'm not trying to be funny. I've seen a lot of girls like your sister acting like their grown and a lot of them get straight after seeing another young girl like themselves have children or addicted to drugs etc. The best thing you can do for your sister is be honest and tell her exactly where she's going to end up if she doesn't stop and change. If you don't no one will!
That was my sister. She is now 22. She got pregnant and her boyfriend beat her up so she lost the baby (at 16). She then dropped out of high school (at 17). Then she started smoking crack (at 17 and 18). Then she got pregnant to the same guy again and again he beat her up and pushed her down stairs and she lost the baby. She finally got her GED and broke up with her boyfriend when she was 21 but still only works part time at a bar.
Get your sister help. Talk to your mother. If you can't get through to her try boot camp. I wish my mother would have sent my sister there when she had the chance.
It sounds like you, do indeed have a reason for concern. She's your sister, you love her, and you should be concerned for her welfare. Just talk to her, as openly and honestly as you know how. Try not to make it confrontational or she just might bail on your conversation and you may never get her attention on it again.
Your her sister , Go smack her on the back of the head .. then take her to a Morgue an show her the dead bodies of stupid Girls who wound up being hookers .. Sometimes ya just need to Put the truth in front of someone. An other times you can try an try an try .. but she will make her own choice in the long run.
Please cease with the all caps. It is easier to read the questions in regular letters.
No doubt you have good reason for concern and your parents need to step in and take over on her. I would put her in a private, possibly a boarding school. This is what I did with my son and it really straightened him out and he also really liked the school.
People who act as your sister so are crying out for attention and love. For some reason she feels unloved.
I pray she is on some form of birth control.
Your mother's inability to cope with your sister may mean you will have to step in and mentor her but you all need to find her a therapist and everyone should be speaking to the teachers and counselors at school who can help with therapy suggestions and possibly with therapists if you cannot afford the fees.
When my daughter was 16 she did the same things and I thought I would go crazy. I tried everything to punish her but it didn't work. Finally I went to juvenile services in our town and talked with someone there. They had her to come in and explained that is she didn't start behaving they would have her in court where she could be removed from the home because she was uncontrollable. They also arranged for her to have counseling. I advised her that if she got into trouble I would not help her out. I know since you're not the parent you may run into blocks, but explain to them the situation with your mom and they will also advise your mom her responsibilities. This may cause a family feud but maybe it will get your sister's attention. Good Luck.
I disagree with the poster who said to smack her in the head. She is looking for attention by dressing provocatively, etc. Let her hang out with you and your friends.more mature individuals who can show her how other people behave. If you treat her like an adult and let her hang around more mature people, it will have an effect on her.
Because she dresses slutty and get's treated like a hooker, she doesn't have many positive role models to look up to. So she needs to hang around positive people like yourself. Self-respect comes from hanging out with other's who respect themselves.
I remember growing up and my 6th grade teacher was a profound influence on me because I was raised by my grandparents and didn't have an adult father figure. He would take me fishing, etc. (nowadays he probably would have been suspected as a pervert, but back then he was just being a responsible person).
So needless to say, I had a good role model in my life and that helped me shape my future because I was able to make positive choices afterwards.
give her one slap across the face
A few years back I was out with some friends (we are in our 30's) and there was a woman there who I had known, we were friendly towards eachother over the years, but we were not close.
She would dress the exact same way as your sister.
For some reason, we got into a conversation about her life and why she couldn't find anyone to have a serious relationship with.
I asked her if I could be blunt with her in my answer and she said that was fine.
I told her that in my honest opinion, I thought that she was a lovely woman who was intelligent and fun, however I said that I felt that with the way she was dressing and bringing herself forwards towards any man that showed her attention, was infact an insecurity and that she dressed herself the way she did, so that the man would be interested in her initially on a sexual level because she didn't feel confident enough within herself to see that a man may actually like her for who she was on the inside.
I said that she wouldn't be able to find love until she was able to accept and love herself.
I remember her mouth dropping and she said that that was exactly how she felt.
Maybe there is some truth in that with your sister, maybe she is craving for some sort of attention, whether it be from a man, or if she wants the attention focused on her from her family.
At 16 we are coming into our sexual prowness, we are discovering our bodies and we are also discovering the opposite sexes attractions.
Also at 16, to be honest, we don't think about repercussions with situations, we are too into the moment, having too much fun, and we are not old enough or wise enough to see the impact that our actions will have on our own lives, let alone the lives of the people who love us.
This is also a time where a teenager will rebel against what she is being told what to do, or how to do it.
You need to ask yourself, what is the best course of action to take.
Maybe she needs to spend a day with you and your son so that she can see that having a child is hard work and what a normal day entails with regards to the care of a child.
You can talk to her and offer her some guidance and let her know that you are concerned about the choices that she is making. Let her know that you have great expectations for her because you can see that she is bright and intelligent, but that you are worried that she is doing things which could potentially hurt her.
She will undoubtly make decisions on her own, but just be there for her, for the good times, and no doubt for the bad - and just let her know that you will always will be there, regardless.
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