Will having a third child tip me over the edge into madness?
Anyone who has 3 kids...what is it like? I know everyone's experience is different and it depends on a lot of factors, but I'd be really interested to hear honest opinions.
Answer:
First - who really wants #3? Are you really thinking about it or does the hubby want another?
With that said. we have a 9 yr boy, 3 1/2 yr girl and 2 yr boy. As my hubby puts it we went from man to man coverage to zone defense. I also have anxiety/stress issues and had pretty bad post partum with #2 and #3, so I think I know some of your concerns. And I was older when we started having kids, starting at 31 and at 38 for the last. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
Each child has their own personalities and styles and they help and learn from each other and I learn from them too.
It also helps that our eldest wanted another sibling and is a tremendous help with both little ones. Do you have a feel for how your two would take a new baby? If they are excited you would have a great deal of help with them (and in-house baby-sitters not too far off). If not, don't let them rule your decision, but know you will have some convincing to do with them.
All I can say is really look at what you want and if you want another one seriously discuss it with the hubby and what could happen after the baby is born and the amount of help you may need. The both of you have to be on the same page so there are no (OK as few as possible) surprises.
Good luck!
Love how you worded your question.
Good luck with your decision. :)
Why on earth do you want to have another kid anyway? Be happy with the two you have. If you are asking the above questions in the first place, this should be your answer. If you have any doubts at all, don't have another one.
If you are concerned already, then it's probably NOT the right time to have a third child.
Besides, you have to be careful-- it's a uterus, not a clown car.
In my opinion, don't have a 3rd child. You already sounds skeptical about it, and sounds like you don't really want it. You mentioned anxiety and depression and that is a big thing to consider. Two kids is a big responsibility already and you don't need another. It will add more strain to your life and two kids need a lot of attention as it is.
I only have one child and I feel that same way about having another. She's only two now and she's a handful. I can't imagine having another. I say don't do it. Babysit if you want to cuddle an infant.
My oldest is 11 and I have twin 8 year olds. i would have been most happy with 2 children. Having 3 is work and they like to vie for your attention but if you want more, only you and your mate can make that decision. I love all my children and wouldn't give them up for anything. If you value your "freedom" then a baby is probably not what you need right now.
It's a very individual question. I was happy with my 2. To have one later is difficult b/c of the age differences. They're needs are so different.
There are emotional, physical & economic implications here.
Given you're discription of yourself, it does not sound like a good idea.
Sounds like you're looking to be convinced.
Honestly, my first reaction to your question is that you won't even notice the 3rd one. That was my experience.
However, when read the ages of your current children, I had to pause. It probably will be a real shocker having to start over with a baby for the next few years. That freedom thing is a real kicker!
Good Luck!
it took my mom 4 kids to go insane!
You said to be honest...LOL
It is really tough some days, and some days are a breeze. My oldest is six, my middle is three, and my youngest is almost five months. Our third was a surprise, and we were scared to death. It has been difficult, even more so since she refuses to take a bottle, and I haven't been back to work since I had her. It can get really chaotic, but I'm learning to handle it one event at a time (like when everyone's ready to eat at the same time, or I'm nursing and the older two are fighting). Even though it can be tough, I really am enjoying it, and I wouldn't change a thing!
Having three children has been hard. Especially when trying to go shopping, picking people up from school and attending social functions, because one (or both) of you will have to either two or all three of the children at once. It was daunting for me at first, but now that my baby is four-months-old (my other two are 4 and 2) I feel like she is settling into life and has become a part of our family. I love my children and I couldn't dream of not having them. But, there are days I would like to give at least one of them back! (at least for a little while) Good luck to you!
I am 9 weeks pregnant with my 3rd i have a 3a nd ahalf year old and a 6 and a half year old.
It also worries me, but only now im pregnant, my 2 kids are so good that i worry this one might not be, but i know deep inside its so the right thing to do.
I would have hated to spend the next 10 years saying i wonder what it would have been like to have another one.
My kids are so excited, and will be at a good age when the baby comes.
I say if you have any doubs, think for another few months, and then see.
Good luck
yes we have three kids all under five and they run us all over the place and do our heads in but we still love them.
I have 3 children 5, 2, and my new 5month old princess. Although I love them very much I wish i would have waited a while because I have anxiety too, and it is VERY hard when they all need something..you're cooking, she needs a bottle, the boys are fighting over toys, and your emotional distress doesn't make things go smoothly. Yours are a little older than mine so it may not be so bad, I guess it just depends on how well mannered and behaved your children are..Even though it is hard, I still love it. If you are already pregnant then don't worry God has a way of working this stuff out.
yes it will send you nutty.i have 3 boys, all planned and all loved and i wouldnt change that. but from a practical side,you never finish the washing and ironing, you cant have a private conversation, everywher caters for families of 4, not 5. this means family passes to the cinema,theme parks, busses, everything, if you have 3 kids you arent counted as a family. when you go on holiday the accomodation is for 4 or 6 people. they wont let you squeeze into a 4 berth, you have to go for the bigger room. this means you are under occupied so have to pay a suppliment which makes holidays ( unless you go to private accomodation) are very expensive and special offers are for 4 people.
i have four kids and although they are hard work i would not be without them but no one can make this descion for you, the question you should ask yourself is do you really want another child or is it because your other two are at school and you need something to fill this void, if another child is what you really want they i say go for it, if not then find something else to fill this void, good luck in whatever you may choose
I've got two children ones 4 and the others 7 and if i was honest with myself i dont think that i could cope with another child
my sister has 4 children and she finds it difficult and sometimes i wonder how she copes
Are you already pregnant? I have 3 children and I can't imagine life without the third. He brought out a side to my oldest son that I may not have seen otherwise. They have such a loving and close relationship. He makes me laugh everyday. And, we have had to adjust our schedules around naps again, he's worth it. You'll love this child just as much and appreciate him daily!
I HAD MY FIRST CHILD AT SEVENTEEN. SHE'S TWENTY FOUR NOW. MY LAST CHILD WAS BORN IN 2005, SHE'S 19MONTHS NOW. IN BETWEEN THEM I HAVE FIVE MORE CHILDREN. I HAVE A TOTAL OF FOUR GIRLS AND THREE BOYS. IT HAS REALLY BEEN WONDERFUL. HAVING MORE CHILDREN IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO WANT IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN. IT HAS BEEN PRETTY EASY FOR ME. THEY ARE WELL MANNERED. I LOST MY HUSBAND TO MURDER LAST YEAR FEB. 11TH AND I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD GET ROUGH BECAUSE THAT WAS THEIR DAD. IT HAS ACTUALLY BEEN GOOD. WHEN HE WAS HERE I HAD MY FREEDOM AND I STILL HAVE MY FREEDOM. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO MUCH AS A PERSON THAT HANG OUT SO THAT HELPS A LOT. MY CHILDREN ARE MY LIFE. WHEN THEY NEED ME I AM HERE FOR ALL OF THEM AS LONG AS THEY CONTINUE TO GIVE ME MY RESPECT. IF YOU WANT THREE CHILDREN, GO FOR IT. GOD WILL NOT PUT NO MORE ON YOU THAN WHAT YOU CAN BEAR. SO IF IT'S ON YOUR HEART TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY, GO FOR IT. I HAD MY LAST ONE AT 40 YEARS OLD AND IF I CAN MAKE YOU, SO CAN YOU. WE ARE CONSIDERED THE WEAKER SEX, BUT I KNOW WE ARE STRONG AND WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE STRIVE TO DO.
I decided to only have 2 myself. This is because when I was growing up I had 2 older sisters. The problem with 3 is that there is always one left out, when growing up my sisters and I never all got on at the same time. Statistics show that it tends to be the middle child that is left out.
The way that I see it is if you have been blessed with two healthy children then think yourself lucky and why rock the boat?
If you have doubts, which you obviously have, then take that as a sign, enjoy the 2 you have and give them a great life!
i know how you are feeling i am the mother of 4 girls ages 14, 12, 6, and 4 and yes it is very tough i have no life at all if you are having doubts i would not go for it ecspecially if you are already at your wits end as it is dont get me wrong i love all my kids and would not change not having them for even a second but there is a way to get through it i as much as you can get away you are not a bad person to want to spend time away from them we all need time away and maybe if you do decide or already pregnant with your third child why not take a weekend to yourself if possible to just have some mommy time it works wonders it is hard for me to do though with 4 so i have a very strict bedtime so that away i get at least an hour or two just for me it is tough i know and i wish you all the best of luck in whatever you decide to do and if you need to please contact me having someone to talk to also helps alot
i have three now 20 ,17 and 15 it was a little tuff taking them all shoping or whatever when they all were little but the oldest always helped with the baby being they were 5 almost 6 years apart but i think they all like that there is three i dont think it causes to much stress but all teen agers cause that dont they?
you might be a scared at first but my has mother has six kids from the age of 15 to 2 half year old, . she told me when i get older i should only 4. she also told me it will help with your life mostly the third child. you will not get sink just take care of your self daily. do you daily planning it will help you for more space for you
i only have one child but my big sis had 4. i think the last one tipped her over the edge.
listen to your heart. inside you know what you want.
I have 3 kids of 12,9 and 4,I don't regret having three kids but it is seriously hard work as is having two.I had the same anxieties as you but I can assure you if you decide to have another one and you have a good husband as soon as you are pregnant all your fears will be in the past.Good luck.
You want honest? I have boys who are 19, 15, 13, 9, and 5 years old. All but one of my children were concieved using birth control. in two cases...I was using two forms at once! I am the quintisential fertil Myrtle!
Having more than two children is NOT as hard as it may feel at first. I learned to accomplish most things using an "assembly line" mentality. Organize everything that needs to be done and go with it.
Some days were hectic as hell ...but the older kids helped out a lot. They thought they were playing.Ah the innocence of youth! I did sort of make it seem that way. Challenging them to see who could grab the diaper stuff the quickest.How long could they play the 'silence' game (the person who's the quietest the longest wins!)
Having a new baby in the house while the others are a bit older is almost like having another 'first' child..You have all the freedom to learn and love the new baby without having to stretch your lap to accomodate other toddlers too.
As for your anxiety? Honey...BREATH! I too suffer from anxiety and the stupid embarrassing attacts that can come with it. And my attacks would even come on without any outward reason at all! And I have survived having FIVE kids in my home at once!
There have been days when I am so damned tired and stressed that I don't want to do it anymore...but they're not very often and usually around the stressful times of the year like the holidays.
Sometimes.a cuddle with my youngest... or curling up with him to read a book and watch him fall asleep are all I need to drain the stress away.
If you are wanting another child or are all ready pregnant with your third...relax a little...and think of all the positives a new one will be bringing into your home. Cookie kisses, sticky fingers, bubbly giggles over dust motes, and the total admiration for you in their eyes. And? The new baby all ready has two older children to follow.emulate!
Good luck!
I have 2 boys age 5 and 6 im 5 months preg with my third due in july, i the same as you was very broody and fell pregnant stright away, I do feel a little anxious as to what it will be like but the boys are really excited for there new baby and im looking forward to it. Its better to do it now if you do want another one as u'l have more of a life as they get older and more independent and will be wishing you had them all near each other, mind you they can babysit for you then.Im not to bothered theres a lady near me who has 6 children and shes the same age as me 26. I wont be having 6 thats for sure.
if the first two have got you questioning weather 2 have more then you must already be quite close to the edge DONT DO IT twos company threes a crowd
If you have to ask the opinions of people you will never know then you already have doubts. Don't do it. Just be grateful that you already have 2 healthy, happy kids.
I have five. But you cope. Really. You have no choice.
Well i have 3 children under the age of 6 and im now 9 weeks away from giving birth to my 4th, if you are worried then i suggest you talk to someone it dosent have to be a problem if you really want another child , if you think that it is just a broody thing then i would seriously think about it but if you love the thought of another child then talk to your partner or a doctor and just explain that your worried you could sort something out. Being a mum of 4 children soon just makes me feel great but everyone is different so its just something you have to really think about ! personally if you really want another child then go for it there is always help when you need it , good luck in your decision .
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