I Need Advice On Severe Postpartum Depression?
She actually has thoughts of harming her and the baby. She says she can't even stand to look at him. The doctor has her on sedatives and I realize she needs more help than what her physician is doing for her. She is in Washington State and her father and I are in Florida. We have talked to her mother about it, who does live close to her, but her boyfriend is feeling neglected and thinking she is spending too much time with her. Please do not get into issues and tell me how wrong her mom's boyfriend is. Believe me, we know all this and would agree with you. Her father and I have no clue what to do. We can't just up and fly there, there is no possible means of doing so. What can we do?
We feel are hands are tied!
Answer:
I went through this with my second child for a year and a half. It was awful!! I also lived out of state from my family but I will tell you, what I needed most was for my mom or dad to come get me and take me home with them and help me. I don't know if the father is there with her or supportive of her or not (my (ex) husband was not there for me at all. He was gone most of the time). If he isn't then she really needs you now! I know how hard it is to find the time and money but if she is able to tell you that she is feeling this then there is a lot more that she hasn't told you. I never let on as to how bad I was but it really should have been obvious. My son is now 14 years old and I am fine now but sometimes when I look at him I feel so bad for the feelings I had when he was born. I was just so sad and exhausted that I couldn't take care of myself let alone two babies. (My eldest is only 14 months older than my son.I have always wished that SOMEONE would have seen how bad off I was and would have come to get me. Even if I had said I didn't want to I think deep down I would have been relieved. I am so sorry that you and she are going through this. Please help her if you can. If not contact a hospital near where she lives and see what advice they give you. Good luck and may God bless you, your daughter and grand-baby!!
oh im so sorry maybe she can fly down by you and maybe you can take the baby for a little while to let her rest for a few days maybe at a spa or hotel or motel something but she needs to do something im so sorry this is happening with her hopefully everyone gets through it other wise the docs are doing all that they can to help in the meanwhile theres not much else she can do if i knew her i would take the baby for a while to let her rest but i dont know her so im sorry i cant help good luck though
I would suggest that you ask her to PLEASE go get on anti depressants. They help TREMENDOUSLY. I think you may want to have a talk with her mom about taking her into an ER or into a doctor that will really help. I hope it all works out. She and your family will be in my prayers.
I would fly to her, stay in a motel and access the situation in person and I'd take her to get HELP.
My boyfriend and I had the same problem with his son's now ex-wife. She took off w/the baby to Texas (while he (hubby) was overseas) When she got back (she actually tried to sneak into town), we (her parents and us) took the baby to our house, who had been badly neglected the whole time she was gone. The baby looked as if she hadn't been fed and she stunk to the heavens. (no bath the whole week she'd been gone). I'm sorry for the long story, but there is no short cut here. Anyway, the next day we (all of us) went to a lawyers, told him the story and got guardianship of the baby. It was hard, because we didn't call social services (we didn't want to do that to family). My advice is call social services and at least have them do a well check on the kids. If things are bad, they might take the kids, then you or her parents can get guardianship until she gets over this. Protect those kids at all costs. This is tough on families and we still are fighting her (it's been 1 1/2 yrs). Good luck to you and the kids.
I'm sure you realize that she needs to go see a doctor and get started on some anti-depressants to help her manage the symptoms. Maybe her mom, the baby's dad or a friend can take the kids and/or help her out at home until she is more stable. It takes the meds several weeks to fully work, assuming the right ones are prescribed, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. When people fall into depression, they are not necessarily able to identify the symptoms.
If she is receptive, try to work out a plan with her outlining what she needs to do and help her work through the steps. Follow-up with her to make sure she follows through.
Call Visiting Nurses and make arrangements for them to visit. They have programs to help new moms in all states and this service may be free. They should be able help your daughter by providing support and lining up resources and I imagine you would be more comfortable with getting them involved rather than calling the police or CPS and asking them to do a safety check. (If you have serious concerns then don't hesitate to do that for the safety of everyone involved).
Good luck to your step-daughter. She's lucky to have you caring about her and her children, even if it's from a distance and you feel your hands are tied.
I'v e never known anyone who has dealt with Postpartum Depression. Although it's categorized as being a mental illness. My parent has suffered from mental illeness, and I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.
Let her keep taking the sedatives the doctor has prescribed. She needs someone to be there for her, and to help her to make it through this difficult time in her life. Have you tried looking for a support group that deals with Postpartum Depression. Although she's taking the medication, there's other issues that she's dealing with. The best thing is to try to keep her mind occupied on healthy positive uplifting things. Maybe her mother could keep the baby for a month or two...Her daughter really needs her to help with the baby right now.
The most effective suggestion I can make is to try intercessing through prayer for her. She has a spiritual battle waging in her mind. She needs the support of prayerful women right now, who have spirtual insight. God is the answer and is able to heal her..try to get her to listen to motivational gospel speakers tapes such as Joyce Meyer, and Paula White. You can order the tapes over the internet, and I'm sure there's something that is motivational to uplift her, and speak to her to go forward.
God Bless You. Be in Courage in Jesus name.
PS Maybe her mother could split half on a ticket with your husband and you, and her and the children come and live with her father and you for a while. Because I realize the severity of the situation. It would be good for your piece of mind. Your husband and you could help her through this. (If you can't afford this..another suggestion)
Try contacting an organization such as Red Cross, maybe they could help with airfare. Look up charities, and try explaining the situation. I'm sure someone can help. God Bless You!
Sedatives can be really bad for depressed people, and worsen their depression. It's very common for people suffering from severe depression to be unable to recognize how bad their situation is. I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication (very sedating) and it caused me to sit alone and weep, along with feeling irritable and intolerant of everyone around me.
I hope she is seeing more that a physician for her illness - she likely needs a therapist and a psychiatrist for medication management.
Encourage her to reach into her heart and get help for the sake of her family.
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