What type of punishment?
Answer:
Don't let him go next time. Take away his game for 3 days.
Is your 9-yr. old supposed to walk home? Why are you not already there to get him?
I would sit down and talk to him when he gets home and ask him why he is late. In the rare event that there is a good excuse, I would discuss with him the need to call, etc. However, most likely there is no excuse that is good enough and I would calmly explain that you're disappointed in the choice he made to ignore the curfew and as a result of his poor choice you are going to discipline him by either giving him a much earlier curfew for the week, or perhaps don't let him go out this weekend. I would explain that you worry when he isn't home on time and it's important that you know where he is at all times so you can keep him safe.
when you remain consistent and be firm on his punishment
The time to put your foot down is now. He should be grounded for a week, no TV, no computer games, and give him projects to do, polishing silverware etc, something that will give him time to think about what he did.. pulling weeds in the garden is always a good one, or shovelling snow... he's at the age where he's testing you to see how much he can get away with.
He will start listening when you start punishing. You are letting too many things go and he knows that he can play you. Start taking away some of his favorite things (TV, video games, etc.) and get his attention. Warn him when he goes to his friends that he has to be home at a certain time and tell him up front that if he is not, he loses a privledge. Do that a few times and don't give in to whining, begging and complaining and you will have his undivided attention. Remember, you are his parent, not his friend. It is your job to discipline and follow through with those disciplines.
What is the one thing your child has or likes to do more than anything? Take that privledge away for the weekend and explain each time he doesn't follow what you tell him the same thing will happen. Then follow thru it only takes a few times for them to get they are choosing to lose their privledges.
He will start to learn when you begin to effectivly parent him. Punish him everytime he does something wrong. And why is a 9 year old out by himself at 9pm? Time to step up and be a good parent.
tell him he can't go anymore. take away some of his toys. anything he likes.
why dont u call and see if he is coming. why arent u picking him up.. isnt 9 sorta young.
My husband and I have two different approaches on this one. If our 8 year old is late coming home, I ground him for a day. If he is late coming home the next time he's allowed to play, I ground him for two more days, and so forth. My husband's method is that if our son is late coming home, his curfew is 1/2 hour earlier the next time he goes to play. Our goal has been to get him to understand that only he is responsible for getting himself home on time, not his friends' parents. Our daughter just turned 10, and quite honestly it seems like both kids would lose their heads if they weren't attached. I'm hoping it's a phase. For now, though, we just try to be firm and consistent, and we don't ever just let it go without a consequence.
when is real bad pull down hes pants and spank hes bottom and make him stand in the corner
DEAR
YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO RESET THE GROUND RULES OK BECAUSE THERE IS A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN. YOU TALK TO HIM RESET THE RULES AND TELL HIM WHAT THE PUNISHMENT WILL BE WHEN HE BREAKS THE RULES OF THE NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN THAT MEANS YOU MOM. SCENTS HE IS (9) YEARS OLD HE SHOULD UNDER STAND YOU WELL AND DO NOT LET HIM PLAY YOU FOR DUMB TELL HIM BOY I WAS NOT BORN YESTERDAY ARE LAST WEEK NOW HERE ARE 10 THINGS TO TRY ON HIM OK
(1) TAKE WAY ALL VIDEO GAMES TV DVD MOVIES VCR MOVIES PHONE CALLS FRIENDS HANGING OUT AT YOUR HOME. (2)NO SLEEP OVERS ON THE WEEKENDS (3)COMPUTER ONLY USED FOR HOME WORK ONLY NO CHATTING ON LINE(4) IF HE GETS SMART TAKE WAY ALL TOYS (5) TIME OUT IN YOUR ROOM (6)WHILE IN YOUR ROOM PUT ONE TOY DOWN FLOOR AND DAR HIM TO GET OFF YOUR BED AND PLAY WITH IT (7) PUT HIM ON HIS KNEES IN THE CONNER NOSE TO THE WALL (8) IF HE GETS REALLY SMART WAS HIS MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP (9) LET HIM KNOW WHAT YOU SAY GOES (10) LAST IS SPANK HIS BOTTOM OK TAKE CARE PS DRIVE HIM TO SCHOOL FRIENDS TALK AND SAY LOOK AT MOMMY'S BABY IT WILL GET ALL THE SCHOOL AND THAT BOY WILL BE A KID ON THE BLOCK OK.
He is nine years old and out? Where do you live? Unless you live in a gated community I would not let your 9 year old out late at night. You are setting up big problems later on whenever he is a teenager. You should set up boundaries when they are young and slowly remove them over time.
For starters- I would have called to the friends home by 10 minutes late- letting he and the parents know he was late and to immediatley return home. Once home- let him kow that he's late, didnt call that he was late in getting home, and now- his friends parents are aware of the situation.
I personally would ground him for 1 day per year of age- another words for 9 days- no friends playing, no tv/computer. Now is the time you need to let them know what you say- goes- if they get away with this no- it'll only get worse. My 10 year did this crap last summer and it's exactly what i did after the first time of doing it- boom- 10 days in his room following homework completion-tv out of room and no radio allowed on. never did it again. I also made him call and apologize to the friends parents for his tardiness resulting in my interrupting thier family time by calling to locate my late child.
1/2 hour late? with no call? SPANKING
My 10 year old came home 5 min late the other day, she knew she was in trouble. Her father had a nice stern talk with her (no spanking), we didn't allow her to play with friends the next day. I expect my children (once they are old enough to understand time) to NEVER be late. Now 5 or maybe 10 min. is one thing, but anything more and I am spanking them. If they call, and tell me they forgot, fine, their off the hook. I expect communication. My oldest 2 have never been more then a few minutes late.
Naturally this all has to be under their control too, no punishments if they are depending on someone to bring them home, by a certain time. With us, it's when they are playing down the street, at a friends home.
when he starts getting punished for his miss behavior you have to set clear rules and clear punishments if he keeps getting away with things why should he listen ?
Give him a hug and tell him all is forgiven!
You should firmly put down your foot and let your son know that you are looking out for his best interest and if he is going to be late then a courtesy phone call is expected. The punishment for coming in late with no call is no outing for a week....which means no going to friend's house, no privilege outing and no visitor. I can't tell you when he start listening , but I hope it is real soon in your case.
Well nine is a little young to expect him to get it by himself. The boots? Write him a note and pin it to his backpack. He'll be so embarrassed he'll remember them next time. I would not punish him for that, not having his warm boots is punishment enough. It's called a "natural and logical" consequence of his actions.
As for the friends house? Always provide a warning: either have the friend's mom say "ok boys only a half hour more" or you call and give the reminder. When you're playing and having a good time it's easy to lose track of the time...even for a grownup!
When u make rules and if he doesn't follow through with them then there should be consequences for his actions.That is if u want him to listen to u.Children need rules and bountries.Without them they go wild.So since he didn't come home at 8:30 .There is no excuses at his age.Take something away for a week.Like his pc,cd,t.v,or freedom...Once they see that everytime they don't follow the rules something will be taken away from them.They'll start making sure they get home on time.Plus they start respecting your authority...Good luck
With my children I use the if you are late you owe me that many minutes times 2 of "hard labor". For example, if they are 15 minutes late they owe me 30 minutes of what I call "hard labor". It is not necessarily always hard, but it is always something that they REALLY don't like to do. For example, my 16-year-old daughter was once 30 minutes late so she owed me an hour of "hard labor". My husband has hunting dogs who live in kennels. You guessed it, she got to clean out the kennels. She really hated it.
I have also used vacuuming out vehicles as punishment. They hate this also, and it has to be to my satisfaction. This was also a very good one.
It only takes a couple of these kinds of punishment and they are not late at all.
As far as the overshoes, I think that forgetfulness can be forgiven, unless it keeps happening and you think he is just doing it because he doesn't want to wear them or something. If that is the case, try making him wear another pair of shoes or boots that he hates, not the cool ones he likes. Then you can bet he will get those good boots home.
Good luck.
He will start listening when you make him accountable for his actions. If he can't get home from his friend's house when he is supposed to then he can't go to his friend's house until he proves himself to be more responsible. If he doesn't get to bed when he is supposed to then you move his bedtime up earlier until he can comply. He will not listen as long as he has no consequences for doing whatever he wants.
We find that taking away electronics or something our son really likes works very well. I would say that you tell him that if he does not come home when you say then he won't go. Give him another chance after you have told him this and see what he does.You need him to know that to have the privilege of going he needs to be home when you tell him to or there will be consequences. Be consistant!
maybe they were just watching a long movie, and forgot to call. u shuldent punish ur kid for forgeting sumthing! that's stupid. it's kinda the other mothers fault for not bringing him home at the right time.
let it go this time. it all depends on the situation.
#1. ground him from afterschool activities not like school activities or sports but from like going to his friends house, tv, computer, ect. and stick to it. if you let him off them he will take advantage of it and think youll never do anything and it will on and escalate to bigger problems later. i know from watching my cousins.
#2. i also recommend this book. '123 magic' by dr thomas phalem. he saved my sanity and help me get my ADHD son in line.
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.