Reference to my previous questions?

I do not have a problem with his mother. But the boy doesn't want his mother doing these things and doesn't know how to tell her. His father has talked to her about it but she doesn't want to listen. I am not afraid of molestation but he has been asking a LOT of serious sex questions and has been VERY curious about things. (she lies to him about them) when he is over there he wont listen to his mother and even HITS her and abuses himself because she can't control him. We are concerned that she is doing too much for him and letting him get away too much. From his mother is how he is going to learn how to treat his own wife someday. This child is my world and I have sacrificed more for him than his mother. She hardly even pays for his medication (he's type 1 diabetic) and I was just concerend that everything she is doing was getting too be too much. I appreciate the responses though I can tell many of you are not step parents. p.s. regardless of how I feel i let his father handle it all

Answer:
i read all of your questions and i have a few bits of insight that i hope will help.

first, let me commend you for being active in your step-son's life, and for being observant and concerned. i disagree with those who say you are controlling or over protective or whatever.

i understand why the questions you had might make you feel concerned. while i don't think it is necesarily healthy for an 8 year old to sleep in bed with his mother every time he is there, its fairly normal. i slept in the same bed with my mom until i was 6 or 7. my mother also went through a divorce, and divorces are often traumatic for children.. it tends to give them insecurity and separation issues, which would explain why he wants to sleep with her. the healthy response, in my opinion would be for his mother to tuck him in or watch a movie with him before bed, or make up a bed on the floor in her room or something. however, i don't necessarily think that there is anything sexual going on if she chooses to allow him to sleep in her bed.

now, it is not unheard of, sexual abuse by a mother can happen. and if the bathing and sleeping arrangements concern you at all, you could try (together with your husband) speaking with the mother, or have your husband talk with your step-son. (its more of something daddy should talk to a little boy about) if neither of these options seem feasible, i would reccommend contacting CPS. its better to be safe than sorry. at the least, they can speak with you and your husband about your concerns, speak with the boy, and potentially conduct an investigation with the mother.

it IS better to be safe than sorry, and if nothing is going on, at least you know. if something IS going on, and you suspect it and don't report it, then your step-son could be taken from you. and not only that, he would be being abused because you took no action.

so i'd say either talk with the boy, the mother or CPS.

i hope your situation improves.. it seems like it would be a tough position to be in. good luck with it.. and don't listen to people on here who are ignorant.

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