How do I determine if my twin boys are just MMR or if it is something else?

I have identical twin grandsons that were born 3 months premature and was exposed to crack during conception. They were malnourished in the womb and then neglected when they came home. At 7 months, I got custody of them and at 3 adopted them. They have a lot of problems, which include, hyperactive, developmental delays, aggressive, bipolar tenacies, trouble with transitioning from one activity to another. They have been tested and they claim that their IQ's fall in the MMR range. They are now 8 years old and one has the mind of a 4 year old and the other they claim is 5 years and 6 months. One doesn't hardly eat and I am really getting worried about him. The other is very abusive. I need help and really don't know where to turn to now. They were getting suspended from school alot. But since their last tests, the school is starting to cooperate with me. If anyone knows of any information that may be helpful, please do so. Thanks!

Answer:
I would get the kids teacher invloved in this problem, some times they might have some different things that you could try at home to help with the aggresion. Also you could look into agnecies in your area who deal with meeting the needs of families with special needs. DDD could have some agencies and the kids teachers should also know of some places. They shouldn't be getting suspended because obviously the behaviors that they are displaying are due to their disability. They need to have accommodations at school and maybe a behavior plan that revolves between home and school. There are also other schools out their that do deal with severe behavior problems that aim to teach the students how to behave acceptably. It is important, as you know, to try to get these behavior under control as soon as possible before they get any worse. Good Luck. Look online for some resourses in your area that help families like yours. They are in each state. Also maybe if you could find a group of parents/guardians that get together every so often and ask their opinion.
It sounds like it has more to do with the exposure to the drugs than being a preemie. My son was almost 3 months early and he doesn't display any of these behaviors, other than being VERY active. I also spent a lot of time taking my son to occupational therapy when he came home from the hospital. Children that basically have little or no attention when they are infants sometimes never recover from that loss of human contact. I would take them to your local Children's Hospital for evaluation and possible treatment.
Do they have IEP's? If not, call a meeting with the principal. You have a right to have their special needs accommodated in school. Also, look into your local mental health or children's services departments. Usually, depending on income, free or no cost counseling and behavior coaching is available. In my school, a student with behavior issues is referred to mental health and sometimes assigned a "wraparound" to sit with them in school and help them with their behavior and other issues.

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