I think im jelous of my ex girlfriend, because my son always asks for her.?
ive asked questions similar to this but i always get answers that tell me how "i shouldnt have let them meet" ok, i get it i screwed up but now im asking should i let her come around him since thats what they both want ?
Answer:
ya its too late but dont hurt your sons feelings hes young and has grown to trust this woman and she has become an impact on his life just explain to your son she is only your friend and let her see him, it wont hurt, and in the furture dont let your child know who your dating untill the time is right and he understands about relationships.
yeah i think you should let her for the kid. if you don't want to be in relationship with her, it's your decision. if the kid miss her so bad then let her come for the kid.
YES I WOULD SAY SO. I THINK THAT HE IS LITTLE AND CONFUSED AND THEY LOVE EACHOTHER AND THAT MIGHT BE IS MOMMY IN HIS HEART... HE LOVES YOU BUT HE MIIGHT JUST BE REAL CLOSE TO HER. I SAY YES.
well, i don't think it was bad that they met, but you have to understand your child s feelings, how long were you together, you should think about letting them see each other your child might feel punished, when he has done nothing wrong, how confusing for him and such a feeling of loss especially for a child with no mom ,, probably feels your ex to be his mom, it is so sad your ex and you have to come together to help your son threw this change, carefully. do not feel jealous feel sad your son is in pain, help him out
Obviously your son has a need that you are not fulfilling.. You are a very selfish man... to put yourself before the needs of your son.. you allow him to become acquainted with your lady friends.. and then upset because he holds a better relationship with them then you.
Young boys need a woman's touch.. dad's come in a little later.. but he is still a little guy.. and needs a motherly touch.
He hates you because you are not filling his need, thow it is not hate but rather frustration.. but he is so young he does not know how to convey this to you. I feel bad for him. I know you think you are doing your best.. but I know you can do better. Does he have any aunts that could help fill his need. And not every once in a while.. but weekly.
Obviously your ex is very good to him.. and if she is willing to have a relationship without you.. then that's a good thing.
Quit feeling jealous... help your son!
YES! Gee - his Mom left and the other woman in his life (your ex-GF) is gone now too. He's 4! Two Mommy-figures in his short life leave him and you think he's going to be OK with that? Teenagers would not be OK with that let alone a 4-year old. Unless you want your kid to grow up the be a total player who leaves women before they leave him, for pete's sake let him have her in his life. Even if you don't want to be in a relationship with her, what's the harm in letting them have a nice relationship and doing fun stuff together? She probably misses him too.
As a mother of 5 I have made some screwed up decisions lets face it we all f@ck up from time to time but what we do after we screw up is what our kids will remember. I can only imagine that things did not end well between yourself and her but that is not his fault and your jealosy is understandable as we want our kids to love us more then anything but he will love and respect you more by the good choices that you make for HIM not for YOU as parents we need to be very unselfish even though (this is hard) we need to make their happiness our priority so even if your no longer going to be in a relationship with this individual does not mean he should not be allowed to.. This truly speaks mountains for her to be wanting to see him though he is not even hers WOW I am truly impressed.. Another thing you must remember women and kids don't shut off feelings like turning off a light switch, If it truly makes you uncomfortable (their relationship) then I suggest you slowly seperate them let him see her less and less till her presence is no longer requested.. And even if the responses might not be what you would like to hear it shows you love your child enough to reach out and open yourself to different suggestions.. Your doing the best you can remember that don't beat yourself up for past screw ups and don't listen to anyone else that trys to either.. and there is no need for jealosy your son just needs a motherly relationship just try to bring him around female relatives that can help to fill the void and try hugging him more or doing things with him that she used to do. Keep your head up so it will be easier to look forward and best wishes for you and your son.. Hope this helped :)
Yes, you did mess that up, and Yes, you do need to let him see her. Put him above yourself and your feelings for her. He has now been abandoned twice, which is a horrible thing for a little guy. Boys that age LOVE their mommies (ever hear of Freud?) , and even though she wasn't "officially him mom", it was all he knew. You don't have to all go out like a family and put on a big act, but a date night here and there, or a trip to the park would fulfill his need, and help his broken little self esteem (kids are very egocentric. He is likely thinking he did something wrong to drive her away, or that she doesn't like him anymore - they don't really see past themselves becasue they just can't think that way yet...) So, let them have some time, and maybe after a few times let there be a little more time in between each visit.
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