What can i do leagaly to gain back control of my kids?
THIS IS WHAT I TRIED:
TIME OUT
BEHAVIOR CHART
SPANKING
YELLING
GOING ON STRIKE
THIS IS WHERE I AM AT NOW BUT STILL NOT WORKING
TOOK EVERYTHING OUT ROOMS
I AM NOT COOKING FOOD THEY LIKE ANY MORE MATTER OF FACTTHE FOOD WILL TASTE PRETTY NASTY SINCE THEY CANT GIVE ME EFFORT I AND NOT GIVING ANY
ALL ANSWER WILL BE READ SERIOUSLY!
Answer:
Sounds stressful. I can only tell you what I would do... I would become the b-i-t-c-h mom/dad. Sounds like right now everything they do is your problem... their behavior needs to become their own problem, not yours... If they aren't ready for school, take the way they are, bad breath in p.j.s, hair not brushed etc... and when you drop them off hand them their brush and a change of clothes to use in the school bathroom... I garantee you, you will not be late again. They weren't ready, it's their problem.. you gave them lots of time and told them when you were leaving. if they break something of yours, throw somthing of theirs away. If they don't eat their breakfast, then save that soggy cereal for supper... (in the fridge so it doen'st go sour). I would become the 'don't you EVER show me disrepect again" person. If they mouth you off, then obviously they don't deserve for you to be nice and buy them things.. and so take something away.. if they end up sleeping in a bare room with a pillow and a blanket.. I think that they will then start to care... when they show respect, they can then EARN their things back...
and they need to work in my opinion. I was raised on a farm, and working and doing chores really gives a sense of responisiblity and improves your attitude alot. My kids have lots of chores and when do them with a good attituded get rewarded.
And is a good 'start behavior'. You want them to 'stop' certain things.. which need one punishment. To get the to 'start' something that you tell them to do... gets a different kind of punishment...
One thing that works really well is to set a egg timer. when that timer goes off, if the room isn't clean, you go in with a garbage bag. they then owe you chores to earn they things back if you choose not to throw it out. If they can't be responsible with it, they don't deserve it. They learn that timer means business and they jump when it goes off
It sounds really harsh... I know.. I don't usually do these things because my daugther is really great... but believe me, if I let her... she would be attitude with capital letters.. she has tried everything.. but only once. and we have a peaceful happy house. I am strict but fair. I show respect, but I derserve it back.. and if you don't feel it, fake it because I am the authority figure for the next few years...
That is my opinion... you can fix this... you just need support.. and the good news is, that when you get this fixed, you can start being nice mom again.. and only use these tecniques as required, which will be hardly ever if you are consisitent and predictable with punishments
I (seriously) would contact a psychiatrist or psychologist. Maybe there's something that you are missing, or needs adjusting. I say this mainly because these kids should not be controlling you, and that is where the psych dr. would come in.
I think they want your attention. I suggest you take one at a time out for lunch and shopping and just talk to them real nicely and show them you really love them. Or if you cannot afford that just take them to an event or somewhere that doesn't cost much. I think you need to talk to them and be concerned about their feelings. Or just take a day and play with them and give them your undivided attiontion.
well when I was younger (i'm now in my 20's) my parents used to take my privlages away. like game console's, tv, bike, rollerblades, friends....stuff that i loved...and I had to learn that it was a privlage to have all those things, not my right, and if I act right, then I get what I want. Didn't start working really though until I was almost in high school! Good luck, I know how complicated little hellions can be, cuz I was one!
Obviously if youve had to go through all of these methods, you are not being consistent and stern enough. They are not taking you seriously, and they will do that if you are consistent and firm.
Most of the time kids act out for our attention. They may feel that they are not getting enough quality time or affection from you or the other parent. I would try being firm, consistent time outs, setting limits, and special one on one time.
Stop doing laundry, give them 1 pair of shoes, one outfit for every day of school, charge them for soap and water to wash their own clothes, and for the energy bill to use the light or anything else. I taught my son at a very early age that everything cost money and because I work to bring the money in, he has learned that he'd rather listen to me than have his stuff taken away. Now, the disciple depends on the behavior. You'd be surprised on how many cops will actually help out. You may want to find one who is willing to talk to your kids and threaten boot camp.
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