My daughter is 8 and she keeps having tantrums?
Answer:
It sounds like there are underlying issues for why she doesn't want to go to school, and she is acting out in the form of tantrums. Rather than give her attention for bad behaviour, sit down with her and ask her to tell you about school, if there are certain things she doesn't like. Ask her why she doesn't want to go. It would be a good idea to call her teacher and tell her/him what is going on. Perhaps there is bullying involved, or perhaps the teacher and your daughter have a personality conflict. She's at the age where she shouldn't mind school that much, and should still be eager to learn and spend time with friends.
Don't get angry at her or blame her for her behaviour. Find out what might be causing it. If a call to the teacher, and to the principal if the teacher can't help, doesn't give you answers, talk to her pediatrician and /or a child psychologist from the school system and see what they can offer. An 8 year old who is having tantrums has issues that have to be cleared up, even if they relate only to control issues.
IGNORE HER TOTALLY , SHE WILL STOP , BUT MAKE HER GO TO SCHOOL
if this is a new thing you need to find out why she doesn't want to go to school. try talking to her teachers perhaps she is being bullied. if she has always been like this i really can't help
Maybe the reason that she does not want to go to school and is having tantrums is because she is having problems at school. Is it possible that she is being bullied or that she can't do something that the other kids do well (read, math, etc.), or maybe it's a teacher?
Talk to her and find out.
She is too old to be throwing tantrums. When she act out, don't give her extra attention, just calmly tell her that her behavior is not acceptable because you know what a great kid she is and that she is capable of so much. Tell her that for every minute she is acting out she loses a privilege or activity she likes to do. Tell her she loses them until you give them back. Stick to your guns and show her that you mean what you say.
When she is not acting out, be sure to point how much you are enjoying her behavior and how proud you are that she can act like such a lady.
Spank her hard on the butt and make her go to school. The next time she starts up, warn her she will get another spanking. If you follow through, she won't ever do it again.
DONOT REWARD HER.Dont give in to her. Set limits for her. Give her a time out in a chair and let her know every time she acts out she will recieve a punishment. As far as school goes its not her place to say if shes going to go or not. Maybe you can give her a small reward at the end of a sucessful week. You can do this and at the same time let her know that biggest reward is haveing a education when she gets older. Good Luck!
you dont "have" tantrums. christ, it's not like it's a disease like epilepsy where it's uncontrollable.
she CHOOSES to throw tantrums, and does so ON PURPOSE. if you give in to the tantrum, then that is exactly why she is doing it - because it works.
if i tried to throw a tantrum as a kid, i got smacked, and denied whatever i wanted. i quickly learned that throwing tantrums not only DIDN'T WORK, but it made my other MORE ANGRY THAN BEFORE.
First, turn off the computer and spend time with her.
Second, step up and take a active roll in her discipline. If she throws a tantrum don't give in to her. You have in the past and if you don't stop giving in to her she will continue to do it. Yeah, it's going to be hard to do and you will feel like the "bad" person for it. But, if you want her to grow up and begin acting like an adult it is the best thing for her, and you. She isn't just going to outgrow a tantrum. If she consistently keeps getting what she wants why would she stop?
As for the school thing you need to see what the major cause of her not wanting to go to school is. I'll bet that it is not just because she doesn't want to go. Yeah, she tells you that, but you need to do some leg work. Call her teachers and see how she is in class. Is there someone by her that gives her trouble, does she find it difficult and just not want to be there? You need to be the person she can talk to if she has problems and help her work her way through them. Partner with her teacher and see what the major concerns are.
There must be some reason why she doesn't want to go to school-have you talked with her about this and her teacher also. When she throws a tantrum send her to bed with lights out, take away her toys and send her to her room, take away any fun time and tell her why you are doing these things. She is old enough to know why she is throwing tantrums and should know its not right. Good Luck.
meds.. physyitrist, or-my favorite- send her to school anyway. drag her if you have to!!
my daughter has tantrums and I ignore them. Don't give them what they want and make them spoiled freaks!!!!
its horemones stay away from fast food
Find out there is something at school that's frightening her. If so, you may be able to settle things with the principal or the teacher.
Other than that, simply put your foot down. Tell her she's going to school, period. And take her there!
Don't give her the power of winning her own way with tantrums. She'll never quit, if you do that.
hi I'm not a mom myself but i have 5 nieces and 3 of them have been similar and as we r a close family i helped and we found out they were all having problems at school with bullies and not being able to keep up with the other kids in class because the work is a little hard for them i just think you mite need to sit down and talk to her and if this fails go to the harder approach and when she has a tantrum take something away that she enjoys doing same as if she wont go to school and let her earn them back when she is good to you ,you be good to her...?
Freespirit that answer is WRONG girl. Do you have a child? the girl does seem old for tantrums cos you should have reached the age of reason by 8. So i would guess school could be so bad she has a bone fide reason. has it almost become a phobia. The school may be able to refer you to the school psychologist. Talk to the teacher. Does your daughter worry about leaving you? explain you can go to court if she misses school, I have used that one. Its so difficult and must tear at your heartstrings. Reward her for a full week with a trip to your local cheap shop, Home Bargains or similar sell toys for a few quid and it works for mine when i want them to be brave.
Hi
This must be very disturbing for the both of you.some people have been very cruel in the answers they have sent for your question,it is well out of order.
There could be a possibility of her being bullied at school,ask her out straight and explain that she will not be in trouble for owning up.She may feel very threatened by this situation if it is happening to her,you should speak to her head teacher a.s.a.p.Also is there any new changes at home such as a new arrival,death in the family or someone that is genarally poorly as this could contribute to the way she is behaving.Sorry i can not be of much help but hope all goes well.You are not alone out there,remember that.Dont be scared of asking for any advice off anyone like your own family dr etc.I am sure it will calm down once you find the route of the problem.Best of luck.Zoe
Hey, have you ever watched the Super Nanny? Go ahead, give me a thumbs down, but that show addresses this problem with really good suggestions. One child fought going to school and refused to get dressed in the morning, and was driven to school in her pyjamas with her hair uncombed. There was no pay off to the tantrum, and so the tantrums stopped (at least for the duration of the show.) Anyway, be strong and firm, and remember that you're the parent and your daughter has to learn how the world really works. And it's just my opinion, but ... the 'smack in the butt' approach is not appropriate for an eight year old. Taking away privileges, grounding, losing activities, being assigned extra chores, losing allowance, not being allowed to play with friends, these are all age appropriate punishments that don't teach her to hit someone if she can't get her own way.
she is having tantrums because you let her. smack her bum and get her to do what you tell her. let her know you are the boss not her.
In our home, tantrums over the age of 5 are unacceptable and are met with a spanking every time. However she must be done with the tantrum before you do the spanking, so I'd say put her in time out, wait until she is done with the tantrum (yes-even if that takes over a hour) then have a talk about how her behavior is unacceptable, tell her she has earned a spanking, explain how she can avoid this punishment in the future. I recommend the old fashioned way of spanking (pants down, over the lap). Afterwords, leave her alone to calm down, then have another talk (very positive talk) about how she is to good and smart to be throwing tantrums (and any other positive comments you can come up with) lots of hugs, kisses, and "I love yous"
Sounds kind of harsh, but it does work, I have 3 girls to prove it (ages 4, 7 and 10)
Good Luck
you have more of it to come! i am 16 and i still have tantrums and i hate to say this but i have tantrums coz i am quite spolt! hate to say it but it is the truth! hey at least i am honest!
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