Angry kid - parent at wit's end - help!!?
Answer:
How about spanking him? If my child ever physically hurt someone, they'd get their butt popped. An eye for an eye--that's the way I see it.
I been thru a similar situation. my son talks to much mostly. but he makes A's.
I pray about it and use psychology. Instead of yelling at him, tell him how proud he makes you when he is good. Tell him how much you love him. Tell him that it really hurts you when he does bad things.
This worked for me. He even started helping out more at home than usual. He is 6.
How come no one is yelling at the kid who took the cuts in line. Your son should not be the only one in trouble here and if he is then thats wrong.
There are people way over your son's age that do not understand empathy or consequences...empathy is feeling for another individual for something they are going through; consequences is doing something and there will be a result of what you are doing good or bad...
Give the boy a hug and help him to see what you mean...go back to square one and begin again...too many parents...united front two parents...lay down expectations...
What is kid took cuts? Hope this helps
The reason to get this clear in his head about empathy is because believe it or not...people out there think that empathy is good to get people in trouble and laugh about it and lie...I have a sister in law that empathy is not registered in her brain at all and boy have we put up with her parents cover up the princess and lies...she never got caught up in the lies but she has no friends...I wonder why
Has it occurred to you that perhaps the yelling is what's teaching him that his anger is appropriate?
Maybe you should try simply talking to him. Speak to him, and let him know that his behavior is not acceptable, regardless of how the other person acted. Try to teach him that we all can only control ourselves, and that he needs to choose to do the right thing when these problems come up.
make him join a sport football
ONe thing that I was thinking was how is your son's peer relationships?? Is he having a hard time with friends?? If so then maybe he is really angry being at school because he doesn't have anyone and the cuts might be just the thing to put him over the edge. Everyone has a snapping point. Do the teachers pay enough attention to him during the school day?? If not maybe this is his way of getting attention. Does he get enough attention at home?
I think that maybe instead of so many punishments, what about coming up with rewards. At 8 years old, not having any of the fun things for that long (the rest of the month) as well as always getting yelled, I imagine that with no sports ect he is pretty bored. I have 4 kids and know how hard this can be, but like someone said above, start over and come up with rewards he can earn with good behavior at school. Starting over means giving him back some of his privilges or maybe letting him "earn" them back with the good behavior.
I feel that every child, especially this young, only wants to please their parents. Maybe if given the chance (I am sure you guys are great parents, plase don't take this the wrong way) to earn these privileges, such as alone time with one of his parents doing an acitivty that HE likes, he might begin to show better behavior.
We can't forget though, that he is only 8, and learning to control you feelings and emotions is a life long process. He does need to learn this, but sometimes there are going to be squabbles at school, as there might be at the work place, but by the time that most are adults we can handle the issues better (though this is definatly not true for all adults).
One more thing that might help him is to get him involved with after school activites, and these can be anything, from sports, to a local youth center, to horse back riding, swimming, or karate. It may give him the confidence he needs with his peers.
I hope that at least one of my suggestions is helpful for you. I'm dealing with children right at the same age, so I know your stress. Good luck
being in public school is hard and i was smart enough not to have ever put my kids in a situation where being around other snot nose kids. i would find an outlet for him go through the phone book and start looking, karate class, gym, boxing, ice skating, archery, art classes, he needs an outlet for anger energy. but i do not know what is so bad for your son standing up for himself. i should say he should have said in a loud voice hey so and so how come you get to cut, no one else is cutting, then look for a teacher and say can so and so cut i do not think it is fair to you?? what could he have said to make the kid move, ?
A very good tactic we use to ward off bad behavior at school is to contact the teacher and let him/her know she needs to call you the next time any bad behavior is going down, and you or hubby need to get to the school ASAP and make it a big deal to the child that you had to come to the school because of their behavior, We remind our son every morning to Think hard before he reacts, because it will not be worth whats going to happen later to his butt.
Try to explain the situation calmly and rationally. Grounding them from things they like...good move! This will teach them...that when they misbehave...they will be grounded from the things that they enjoy doing. There is one thing I don't understand though...why would you ground him from hot lunches? I would not deny him the opportunity of a hot lunch! One thing is for certain...is...your son has to realize that other people are entitled to their opinion...and he needs to be ok with that!...otherwise...he might have problems in the future!
My 7 year old son was being rude and disrespectful to others. I tried all the things that you have tried, even the spanking. Nothing worked. I warned and warned him. One morning he woke me up at 6:00 am yelling at his brothers. Without one word I walked in his room and took every movie, video game (consoles and discs), and other electronic equipment that he has and put them in a garbage bag. He was in shock. I went back to sleep. Later when I woke up I told him that when his attitude changed he could have his stuff back, but if he had to be told once more to stop being so disrespectful and unhappy all the time that the stuff would go to a child that would appreciate it. It took about one week before he completely changed but he did change. Good luck with whatever you try.
So, "celebrate me home" this kid already has troubles and wants to blame the other kid for being "more wrong". So his parents should hit HIM to explain why you don't hit others? The only thing that will prove is that THEY are "more wrong".
Karen, your instincts not to hit him for hitting are correct - especially since it sounds like hitting hasn't been a part of your discipline to date. I understand different opinions on disciplining children, but I can't imagine that all of a sudden hitting an eight year old for hitting others will do anything but confuse him and make the situation worse.
This kid needs some supportive help from someone trained to do so. There are conditions, such as Asperger's disorder which can cause behavioral problems and difficulty with empathy. I'm not one to jump to "take him to the Doctor!", but in this case, he really sounds like a boy who needs a professional diagnosis. Even if nothing is technically "wrong", he can be given some coping skills to address why he feels everyone just makes him mad.
family counsiling
if your kid is angry why don't you just make him a nice hot bath with lots of bubbles hot baths and soothing music can calm a kid down i tried it before and it was great and if that don't work i suggest you go to Dr. Phil and talk it over with him
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