How do I get my 9yr. old to pay attention and listen to me, &stop doing the opposite of what I say?
Answer:
One trick I've used is to make my child repeat to me out loud what I've just instructed. Make them stop whatever they are doing to look at you and pay attention. If there is a list of things you've told him to do, make him repeat the list to you out loud.
It also is good to watch the way you say things. If I tell my child "Don't kick the table!" Their brain may process it as "Kick the table!" So always try to use the positive in instructions. Such as, "Please have quiet legs."
Thank and praise them when they are doing something right. "I love how you use a napkin at dinner, what a young gentleman you are becoming!"
It's a slow process. The la-la land issue is common in very young children. Some children just need more time to grow and mature so until then, you may have to treat him with patience and repetition like a 3 year old.
If he's being naughty and just flat out ignoring you, then spank him. If he's honestly got a problem with attention, then take him to the doctor.
hitting your child (spanking them) isnt really a good idea. However if you yell at them you truely get their attention!
Walk over to the child and put your hand on his shoulder and ask him to repeat what you just told him. Then if he doesnt do it then take away a privelege.
Make them stare at you eye to eye. After you have spoken, you should ask if they understood you. If no, repeat.
Lots of kids suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder these days.
Is it something in the air?
I used to be like that. I was a huge procrastinator. My mom finally told me, "You always forget b/c it's not important to you."
And once I digested that comment, I realized she was right. Probably b/c you are not putting your foot down. Believe me, if you MAKE him listen, he will. He's only getting away with what you are letting him get away with. You have the power to take control, you just have to do it. Whatever he says or does to get out of it, you can do worse. Get a back bone and be stern. Let your yes mean yes and your no, no.
tell him the opposite of what you want him to do ?
MAKE A GOAL BOX- SMALL CHEAP PLASTIC BASKET AND HAVE ALIST OF DAILY ROUTINES- HE PULLS ONE OUT AND WHEN IT'S DOEN TO YOUR SATISFACTION AHVE ANOTHER "GOALIE" BOX- HE PUTS THE ACCOMPLISEHD GOAL IN AND REWARD HIM WITH WORDS AND PRAISE. AS THIS HABIT GAINS ATTENTION IN THE GOOD THE OLD HABITS WILL DIE
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