Dealing with an angry step children???
Answer:
Both you and your husband need to sit down with everyone like a family for a BIG family meeting. This behavior is out of control! It doesn't matter whose kids are doing what, your entire family is out of control. I am a step parent also, and there is a word called respect. For one, fighting is a definite no-no. I know your husband may want his kids to feel "special" since they are not there all of the time, but fighting, throwing tantrums, etc. is just not acceptable. Your children are to blame as well - they have to understand that his children are their siblings due to marriage. There is lack of respect on everyone's behalf; this needs to be fixed by the parents, not the children. Have a meeting ASAP. First with your husband so that you two are on the same page and then with the family as a whole.
You need to talk to your husband about how you are feeling about his children, maybe you could all go to family couseling?
tell them to get along tell your husbend to control them
I am a 41 yr old yr one who married a 42 yr old. I have two boys 16-18 he has three 11- 17- 20 (four bedroom home) the 20 yr old one room /17 and 11 one room,/my two in the third room. the beginning 2 months everything was peaches and cream.soon after his boys started to have friends over and destroy the house going into my kids room taking things from them and giving to friends who destroyed and didnt replaced it. we are now one yr and a half into the marriage. i finally told my husband either we restore order or i would leave. my husband is a great guy. we are the parents do not sacrifice your love for them they need to give and take. the kids dont clean we work 10 hrs a day but lil by lil it will happen email me for more info ok!save what u have since u did it twice. believe me kids will crap on u and will try to rule the home if u let them. now finally things r getting better teamwork!girl love and lots of luck dont give up at the end it will be just u and him kid god is good kitten!
Your stepkids probably feel that you're stealing their dad from them, and that your and your own children are invading in their lives. It might help if you discipline your own children and your husband disciplines his at the weekends so that no one gets jealous.
You could also try bonding with your stepchildren as a friend (rather than a parent). Take them out individually somewhere they really love. The teenager might tell you you're trying too hard or something like that, but if you persist you should get somewhere. And above all: take everything she says to you in your stride and remain calm.
If Dad doesn't have the balls to take charge of the situation -- then they don't come over until he does. Period -- it is your house, not theirs. Yes you want to meld the two families, but when will dad get involved -- when you miscarry or they kill the baby OR when your daughter is actually raped by the boys. I do agree with the person above that stated that they feel like you are taking their dad away from them, but good God -- Dad needs to become a man and actually sit them down -- especially the 15 yr old! I had lots of problems with my step children, but never crap like this. Get dad involved or they don't come over -- he can spend time with them outside of the house.
How long have you been married to him? Maybe his kids are still upset over the breakup in the last marriage and don't want anyone new in the family.
I would let the step kids know your not putting up with their BS.. They aren't welcomed in your home if they cant be respectful.The father can visit them in a different environment. Let him take them out to eat or to shop whatever. But he needs to take them back to the mother after his visit. Why should you put up with all that crap? Sounds like kids I wouldn't want my children to be around. Disrespectful and Fouled mouthed..
You've been married less than a year. So according to your timeline you've provided, 18 months ago they were in a loving family that had no idea that divorce was down the road.
In that time, they've lost their dad, they have to share him with you and two other children, who probably pretty much treat them like visitors. You say you have five bedrooms, but she doesn't have her own space, even with only five kids there. Their mom is also probably bitter, and the fact that it's interracial is probably painful for her as well. It's so cliche really.
You'd be better served to plan outtings and keep the time busy when they are over, rather than just laying around the house. Make sure they have time alone with their dad, because I know when my dad got remarried it was a very big feeling that my stepbrother and sister had my dad all the time, and even on the weekends I had to share with him.
You should spend time with the kids one on one and get to know them. Sounds like you're a little bit scared of them and they know how ot push your buttons. You need to earn a little respect, and prove yourself to them. you can't be a mom, but you should be a friend. Try to love them a little, and feel their pain, especially knowing that 90% of what they know is from their mom.
Talk to your husband about it too, and see if he'll take some time with each of the kids alone, like a date, to eat dinner, talk about their fears, and let them know that he still wants them. it's probably iffy in their minds right now. She's a child still, and you're expecting her to waltz in and love you.
Just from personal experience some things that made me rebel against my stepmom was her always making it obvious that her kids would always be more important than me and always making my dad's life hell if he ever sided with me over anything. Just to name a few.
If you aren't doing any of those things in anyway then I would suggest counseling. This is a tough situation and the stress isn't good for you or the baby. Good Luck.
I'm a stepdaughter and a stepmother.
As a stepdaughter what I dont like is my stepfather trying too hard to act like one. You must try to be a friend and show respect, trust and allow Father/Daughter/Son time without you in the picture. Slowly introduce yourself and then your children with his kids.
What I've done as a Stepmother. Before my husband & I married, I would let him spend time alone with his son ONLY.
Why? Because that is something I looked forward to with my mom (as she was a single parent). As time went on my husband, his son and I would go out and do fun activities like dinners, movies and bowling. This to me was the introduction of all three of us. In your case you can do something similar. It is very very hard for children to suddenly get a long when they were rushed and pushed into a step family. I think your husband should take his kids out and you take your own out. Eventually slowly integrate both families in outings. I promise you this will ease all kids tensions. I would even get into some type of weekend sport where you can team up with your husbands kids and him with yours.(bowling) and build a bond but betterh yet TRUST!
Your husband needs to be in on this 100%!! Your husband needs to tell his kids that if they want to spend time with just him, that can be done.same with you and your kids. This will show his and your kids that no matter what both of you will be there for your own kids. ! Good Luck.
As for them being disrespectful and threatening your children, that needs to STOP! Your husband needs to get on this ASAP!
We dont want this behavior mirrored by anyone else!
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