My 6yr. son whines a lot and my husband and i do a lot for him, and he lies alot ? help!?
Answer:
the whining works for him, he whines, he gets what he wants. I would have to suddenly develope ears that don't hear whining. When he whines, don't listen, act like you don't hear him, even if he starts screaming. No eye contact either. He'll get the message soon enough.
Please read this article about lying:
http://webhome.idirect.com/~readon/lies.
as for the whining, I tell my son (similar age) I can't understand what he is saying when he whines. It stops it pretty quick.
First of all - STOP doing so much for your son. He needs discipline NOT everything in the world. Let him know that everytime he whines or lies - there is a price to pay for that behavior. Let him know what behaviors are acceptable and which are not.
Step up to the plate and be the PARENTS he needs NOT a friend. He will have plenty of friends once he begins school.
Give him some small chores that he's responsible for and then give him a small allowance, per week, once he's accomplished his chores.
Well, you can talk to your son about how lying is bad, tell him stories, like if you lie your nose will grow. Ask him why does he whine a lot, is it necessary? make a point chart, every time he lies he gets a point, by the end of the week, day, month, etc. if he has too many point he will not get a surprise. Be patient with him, and remeber these are the years he will do that a lot, also be strong, dont let him think you an easy mommy and he can get away with anything. GOOD LUCK!
The more you do, the more you will be expected to do, thus increasing the behavior. Think of childhood as training for adulthood. do we get what we want by whining, are there consequenses for our actions, will lying be tolerated in life?? No.
Tell him what you expect of him and then if he whines for something ignore his request until he can come to you and ask appropriatly.
If he lies to you, allow him to know that you don't believe anything he says, until he earns your trust back. He will want to be taken seriously, everyone does. Trust is earned
Standing your ground as a parent is the hardest part of parenting, but it is also the most important
I agree with Linda D 100%. My parents did it to me and I turned out great. I use the same approach when dealing with my 3 year old when he falls out kicking and screaming over not getting his way. Despite his age, he knows only good behavior is rewarded and lying is not nice. Change the small things now so that they dont become big uncontrolable things later.
At 6 you can still spank him for lying and stop doing everything for the spoiled little brat.
Sounds like he is a bit spoiled, if you don't mind me saying so. It might help if you don't do as much for him, make him do things for himself, make him more independent. Lying should not be an issue, don't put up with that, let him know it is not acceptable, not even a small white lie.
Maybe that's why he whines, because he knows that he can get what he wants when he does that. When he whines ignore him and show him that he won't get any reaction out of you unless he acts like a big boy. I know it can be annoying but you have to stick to it and don't give in and he'll stop.
Don't worry about the lying TOO much. Its developmentally normal for his age and a sign of creativity. Its not to be encouraged of course, but here are some suggestions on how to handle it.
You need to stop doing so much for him and foster his independence. First, you need to replace the whining behavior with a more appropriate way of asking for assistance. Children will use whatever method has proved effective in getting what they want and need...whining is your son's way. Tell him that you will discuss how to help him (or whatever he needs) when he can use words in a normal tone of voice to ask you for assistance. Do not give in unless he uses an appropriate method of talking with you. When he has, be sure to listen to his needs and come up with a solution. Most of the time, children can solve a problem, but need guidance from us. Guide him in a direction that allows him some way of taking part in the solution.
As for the lying, this would depend on the type of lying he doing. Sometimes children are expressing their creative side, other times they are manipulating us! If it is clear that he is lying to get "out of trouble", then you need to let him know that you really want to believe and trust in him but you are having difficulty because he is always sharing the whole story or the truth. Walk through the situation and explain to him your reasons for wanting him to tell you the truth (safety, trust, etc.) At the age of six, reasoning might not be a possibility as of yet, but consistent expectations of truth and honesty will direct him to the right path.
Tonyer71 has it right for my vote in parenting. No one said it was easy but you have to step up to the plate and remember he's only getting away with what you let him get away with. I handled my daughter with exactly the same technique Tonyer71 refers to and even though we have plenty of "moments" we eliminate them pretty quickly unless she's overly tired, hungry or getting sick or something. Good Luck, it's exhausting sometimes!
1. I whined back (loud and often) and pointed out how irritating it can be and he agreed. 2. I also asked him to repeat his requests in a normal tone if he wanted any response from me.
As for lying, if I catch my son lying, I give him one chance to confess with a lesser consequence than if he continues to lie.
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