I have kind of a touchy question?
Answer:
No, you're not overreacting! This is quite serious. Really, with a problem like this you need to take them to a therapist. It needs to be ended NOW before something more than kissing happens.
Back when I was brought up, a good spanking or two would have been sufficient to knock that crap off.
THIS IS SICK
i would explain to her since she's older that it's innapropriate to be doing that stuff with her little brother. i think she'll understand...
give it some time. if it continues, then deal with it.
try to distract them into being interested in something else.
♥ ♥ you are not overreacting, it is not healthy for them and they are way to young for that kind of behavior, explain to them that it is not the thing to be doing and do not tolerate it anymore, could be signs of sexual abuse from somewhere else, so be careful with them ♥ ♥
when they try to experiment w/ TONGUE KISSING then thats when you need to lay down ground rules. But youre seeing it as a NASTY WAY because us adults know what that leads to. Just play it ear by ear.
I am sure it is innocent...and this too shall pass
they'll probably grow out of it, but i wouldn't stop punishing them for doing it, no pun intended.
sit them down tell them it is innapropriate and then when they do it again punish them. early to bed. or no tv. but punish them consistently every time. they will get the point. and punish them the same. dont favor one.
Talk to both of them about it and why it's wrong for them, because they are family. Tell them it's OK to want to kiss people, but not until they are older.
Wow. tell them that it is not appropriate to do that.
oh my, that's not very pleasant. whenever you see them doing it tell them to behave and always make them stop doing it before it becomes a habit.
good luck with it
I would probaly put the girl in counceling if she is forcing a 5 yr old to do that. It may be a phase but just to be sure I would get counceling for those kids
I'm not licensed to dispense advice, but I think you are overreacting. Punnishing them probably makes them want to do it more. If you don't react to it, they will probably grow out of it.
I WOULD BE AFRAID TO LEAVE IT ALONE, OF WHAT ELSE MIGHT HAPPEN. THESE DAYS KIDS KNOW STUFF THAT I DIDNT KNOW UNTIL I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH. IM REALLY NOT SURE WHAT TO TELL YOU, JUST TELL THEM THAT ITS WRONG FOR THEM TO DO THAT SEEING HOW THEY ARE KINDA RELATED. GOOD LUCK
When i was that age I would sit at the hallway at my grandparents house with my with my cousin and we would kiss and talk about how we were going to get married someday. I think it's normal for kids.. and i wouldnt worry about it-- i wouldnt totally ignore it- but as long as it just them pretending to be grown ups and kissing i dont think its anything to be worried about. You dont want to teach them that love and kissing and etc is a BAD thing--
well there just kids. they might grow out of it. but what if they get older and fall in love? its better to end it now and talk to them about it, becuase when they do get a few years older, they might have a "thing" for eachother and it will be harder to deal with
Don't get too bent out of shape about it. Try to get your stepdaughter to stop but don't make a fuss. it will surely all disappear sooner or later, you just want to make it stop sooner.
i have never been in this situation, but honestly u should sat them down and talk to them about why what they are doing is wrong. explain that they are too young to even be thinking about kissing. i dont know if ur 5 yr old will really understand, but the 8 year old should. tell her that she is too young to be kissing and its not good to be pretending to be boyfriend and gilfriend with her brother. also talk to the other adults (husband, exhusband or whoever is involved with the children's upbringing)
I don't think you should leave it alone... however to address the situation, its best not to explode or overreact.
Calmly explain to your children that family members don't kiss or become each others boy/girl friend.
I think the threatening to take stuff away and time outs will not work...
when they are older, they can make the decision if they should persue a relationship (i'm guessing they are not blood related)... but at this age... (especially at 5) -- I do not suggest them playing pretend.
Best of luck
Just give punish them and maybe they will stop
At 8 she is old enough to understand that you don't do those kind of things with your brother! There is no need to punish the boy, but I would stay on the girl, tell her Mother about it so she can talk to her on her end. It's normal to experiment, but she has to stop now. Counseling may be needed if you can't get through to her.
I am a stepmother and i would like to tell you your not over reacting.. what you should do is explain to both of them 1st of all they are way tooo young to be kissing that is for big people and explain to them that they could catch really bad colds... ( they don't need too much details).. 2nd if they are half brothers & sister ( from same father) they should not be kissing either because that is not proper behavior... be understanding let them know that you are not comfortable with them doing this.. also set your stepdauhter aside and tell her that she is older and she doesnt need to be teaching this behavior to a child younger than her... she should be a role model and being a bully towards him is definetly not the way to get him to respect her when he gets older...
I don't advise you turn your head and ignore it. Tell them something and try to keep them busy so they don't have time to engage in this behavior.
I hope this information helps you...
Some stuff you can overlook and chalk up to curiosity, however because you son is so young, I would get a good touch/bad touch book and go over the basics. Just in case stuff gets a little out of hand then your son will be comfortable talking to you, also the book could explain to your stepdaughter that it is okay to be curious, but will give her clear guidelines on what is ok and what isn't.
Hope this helps
I say control the older one and the younger will follow. She's the one that got him into this mess, and he knows way less than she does about it. Go to her in her room, and explain some things about life. How it is wrong for brothers and sisters to kiss, be very stern with her, and leave her with the impression that you are dead serious, and that it will not be accepted to do ever again. Explain to her that this is a different kind of "bad" thing. You can't even offer up a punishment. Perhaps it is time to talk about morals, taboos, etc. anyways, best of luck to you. (get all the parents involved if you think it's best, her father, mother, etc.)
I think by you punishing them over something that grownups do is unfair. They are kids. They see mom and dad kissing and hugging! They want to know what thats like. I did very stupid stuff as a kid like that. Some my parents will never know about and some that they do know about! The more you make a big deal out if the more they will want to do!
noooooooooooooooooo do not leave them..its the initial stage..talk to ua 8yr nd tell her tht she`s not suppose to say this s,h,i,t infront of such a small kid..else u`l kick her outta ur house...
I would take them to a therapist, maybe one of them has been molested.This is not normal behavior, they are learning these adult actions somewhere.
gosh, 5 sounds a bit young.
i don't know...
i'll tell you some stuff about my childhood and please don't judge.
when i was a kid i had a crush on my cousin nicky. i was very little and i just thought he was a neat person. but that's all it was. it's a little embarassing to think about now, but back then i didn't have clue. i wasn't in school and i didn't know a lot of other kids, so i guess my crush developed out of availability.
as for the kissing.my cousin and i (both girls) when we were little would experiment with kissing. it wasn't very sexual, i mean we weren't turned on or anything, we just wanted practice and to know what it was all about.
i am a normal married (to a man) woman with a good career a gorgeous son, college degree.etc. in no way did any of this kid stuff scar me or change me in a negative way.
i have a feeling they are just experimenting, like you said. as for stopping it.i don't know if there is a way to do that. maybe sit them down and tell them that they are to not do that anymore and that it is wrong b/c they are brother and sister.
perhaps you can get them involved in acitivities with other kids so their attention isn't focused mainly on each other?
take care and i wish you well.
EDIT:
i really liked another answerer's idea...tell them that if they keep doing that to each other then they will get sick! that's a good idea!
I think this is serious. The stability they have in their understand of love, affection, sex is extremely important. Right now they are at the learning stage.
Here's my suggestion. Sit them both down and talk to them. The following is a guideline that I might follow:
1. Describe relationships - You're the mommy, he's the brother, she's the sister, etc.
2. Describe types of affection. I think it's OK for brother and sister to kiss, just to be be confused with the romantic relationship of the stepdaughter. That's a unrelated boy who has a different kind of affection.
3. Let them know they have done nothing wrong, but you were curious what the felt about kissing each other. Wait for their response. Remember, they did nothing wrong.
4. Confirm with them that they understand what has been discussed and that they have the relationships separate.
5. Affirm your love for them and let them know how good they were sitting there in your chat. Then set them free letting them to ask if they ever wonder if something is OK.
Overall, keeping an open window of conversation with them will let them come to you before a friend or stranger.
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.