When did you let your daughter?
i have only meet the mom once at a party.
they want to have a play day at her house
both girls are 8,
Answer:
I don't know, but just wanted to say kudos for being a good parent. A lot of parents now a days don't care like they used to. They don't care about the parents their children are hanging out with, and they don't care if they know the other family or not. Go with what your gut instinct, and again, way to go on protecting your child!
MEET with the mom again at least once AND GO over to her house
My daughter went on her first play date at 3, I had only met the mom a few time but had her daughter over alot, we were neighbors so I knew she was close.
meet with the mom -- and get their phone number and information --and let her go------
If you feel comfortable about it let her go
It depends on whether you feel your daughter is ready for such an experience. Many kids feel as if they are ready, until they are actually there without you. It is most important to talk to the other kid's mom and try to get a feel for what her values are, how she runs her household, and how involved will she be with the girls. On my first sleepover (age 9), my friend's single mom left us home alone and went out on a date that night - of course, I never had a playdate there again. Good luck.
You need to feel comfterable with the situation, if you don't... Never. There is no time limit. You could go with your daughter to the play date. Sit and drink coffee with the mother...
In Islam a girl can not go out without the accompaniment of her father. This is for her protection.
when my daughter was 7, but i knew the mom very well.
If you are that worried about her well being at the aquaintence
from schools house that your daughter wants to only visit you
should feel lucky she was not asked to spend the night...
Anyways if you feel that strongly about the visit ,sit down and
remind your daughter of her behavior for visiting,what she should expect from others behavior ,according to what you believe and
to expect the same respect if thats what you believe .
Give your daughter a curfew to the time you will pick her up.
Maybe you can be busy and only allow her for one to two hours.
You can always visit while she is there to see how things are going or bring a treat ?Talk to the hopefully mature eldest there?
What have you.After all she is only nine and this sounds like her first visit.P.S If you really really feel that strongly about your
daughters well being and safety.Have plans for the invited date.
You all planned to go see a movie .and go! You had a dinner
date with your family..Go! ? Maybe you do.
If you're not sure maybe you could stay there with her for the first play date and socialize with the mom while your daughter plays with her daughter, easier to know whats going on if your in ear shot of things. Easier to get to know the other mom, too. Most 15/16 year olds don't want their 8 year old sisters hanging around with them, I don't there is too much to worry about there.
I think a good compromise would be a short play date-maybe 2 hours or so. Your daughter is old enough to tell you how things went and if she felt comfortable at their house. Next time you can have her daughter come over to your house.
p.s. glad to see a concerned parent involved in their child's life!
The only problem I can foresee is that when parents have teenagers, they feel freer to leave the house, and the teenager in charge. I have 3 children, 10, 8, and 2. This has happened to me on several occasions I found out after the fact that mom/dad left and only the teenager (whom I too did not like or trust) was left in charge.
Better to have the playdate at your house. If there is something about the teen you don't like, your instinct is probably right.
you may have met the mom but that does not mean you know who comes in and out of her home. i do not put anything past anyone. if you want your child to stay for a play date, i would advise you to stay with her, it won't hurt. if you are uncomfortable with the situation period then follow your first mind! i do not leave my children anywhere alone, i also have an 8 year old daughter as well as a 5 year old. if all else fails, just have her friend come to your house, that would make you feel a whole lot better. hope that helps.
I would let her go as long as the mom is going to be there. If you have specific rules I would let the mom know(my 8 year has a friend who plays violent video games and so we have asked his mom to restrict games and TV while he was there, we haven't had a problem). Then in addition to that I would make your home as open and fun as possible to encourage them to come there more than her house in the future.
you should arrange a date to meet your daughters friends mother to get to know her, ask questions like what is scheduled for the play date and collect contact information. when you daughter is at her play date make effort to keep in touch with her friends mother and always ask to speak to your daughter.
At kindergarten age. I always asked for the phone number and vice versa.Meet the mum again if you are not sure . Children need to socialise with other people. It sounds like you are protecting your daughter which is great but you need to let go.
I would take the daughter over ther and visit for a while before leaving her there im sure the older sister will not be paying them much attention she probably thinks shes to old to hang out with them. just get to know the rents and make sure they will be ther to supervise and dont worry :)
Well at one point or another, our children will have a friend that has an older sibling we dont think very much of. Considering the two younger girls are at least five years younger than the older sister, most likely they would not mingle with the older sibling.
If you feel like you trust the other girls' parents try a short playdate, to test the waters, and when she comes home look at how she behaves. If you feel like you want to get to know the other mom better,plan a get together for the four of you. Or you can invite the girl and her mother over to your house,for a playdate. both of these offer you the opportunity to get to know the other parent.
Now days, its better to keep a closer eye on your children,because of all the different types of "strange" people out there. Follow your gut always. You will know when the time is right for the both of you when to fly solo. Just make sure you let your child know she can always call you,if she needs to, and make sure you always leave a contact number,that you can be reached at. Play it safe and Good Luck
I was only allowed to go over to friends places when my mother new the other mothers quite well. Infact i was never allowed to sleep over anyones hosue until I was 16, up until then I was only permitted to spend the night at cousins place and my grandparents. You don't know what other guests will be at this person's house that may take advatage of your precious little girl.It is much better to be safe then sorry, accompany her on the play date, get to know the mother, ask questions about visitors/relatives step family that might be living inthe same house. Like I said BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY. Hope this helps.
Mt mom let me go over to my friends houses when I was seven but use your best judgement!
Why don't you go over to the prospective playmates house with your daughter and sit and chat with the mom for an hour or so. If you still feel uncomfortable, then don't leave her alone. I applaud you for following your gut!
Well maybe the 1st time go over there with you daughter but if you fell a good vibe then let your daughter go over there the next time without you.
i think she will be fine but you might want to meet w/ the girls parents just once more and see what you think.
u should come with ur daughter to the play day, and talk 2 her mom...if u dont like the sister, thatn u shouldnt let ur daughter come over
I just started letting my daughter go over to the neighbors to play both girls are six. But I met with them a few times first got a phone number and had the other girl here twice before I was ready to let her go. Problem now is she wants to go all the time and I'm just not ready for that yet.
i would speak to the friend's mom first. make sure what the girls will do, who will be there and when it will be over. i think for a first time, to keep it relatively short - a couple hours and then pick up the child.
i wouldn't think a 16 year old would want to have much to do with a couple of 8 year olds - i know i didn't when i was 16. if the older daughter is old enough to drive, make sure it will not be she who drives your daughter on the outing. as a mom also, the other mom should sympathize with your concerns...if she doesn't, or is offended, i wouldn't let your child go there on a playdate, but maybe suggest the friend come to your house.
I would get to know the mother better before I let my 8 year old daughter go to the other house without me. Suggest that the other mother and the two girls go out on a play date or to a movie. That way you get a better chance to know what the mother is like.
I suggest you get to know the family better (discretely). Only when you are absolutely certain that this family can be trusted should you allow your most prized possession to be left out of your hands.
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