Why do we not use no to discipline children now?
Answer:
getting soft is most of it - lazyness too..
parents are too busy working and become too tired to be parents.. then blame everyone else when their kid is a problem kid... mainly the schools get blamed..
good for you for saying NO
kids right now are mostly taught they should "have it all" I mean seriously TV's in Cars?? whats that about - dont you think its good for kids to learn how to deal with being bored?? they are going to have a HELL of a time as adults in the real world...
I could really go on and on and on.
parents are TOO LAZY because they spend TOO much time at work -
parents are TOO GREEDY - working more and more so they can have it all.. rather than saying "heck I dont need a new car every flippin' year"
parents are CATERING TO THEIR KIDS TOO MUCH - this will have serious problems when the kids grow up and cant have their way or cant be entertained 24/7
Well honestly what did they learn when you just said "NO" .. nothing. I agree with the princable on this one.
I think so, yes. And I also believe it is resulting in a more dangerous and violent society.
I agree with you. I think the principal was setting out with the wrong attitude that kids need to fight to grow up. That's a very bad attitude. Otherwise why do we have police and laws to protect innocent people. Innocent kids similarly need to be protected from the bullies, right from the start. Schools should always punish the person who started the fight.
Because you have some parents that don't give a crap and let their kids get away with anything, even if it means hurting someone else.
i think you should tell them not to do it and then ask thme if they know ehy. if they dont then tell them. its the only way they will learn anything.
For one when you say "No" The child may think its ok and say it back to you. would you be upset? if so why? No is a negative response. We are so suppose to address children positively,firm if needed but positive.I dont believe no is appropriate either. You can try "No Thank you", You can say "I really dont like when you push your friends", You can try "Pushing hurts thats not ok". Their are a lot of other alternatives and you get your point across positively. Don't worry I work with children also, and once you start using other alternative words they will eventually come naturally and you wont even think about "No". Do you want your children scared of adults? Its one thing to know they mean what they say, but not scared!
I'm not sure what's going on now a days. Call me what you wish, but I believe in disciplining my children. I have a 1 year old that knows how to say please, and thank you. Of course we're still working on the meanings behind these words, but he does know what no means.
Yeah, people are too worried about how something is going to negatively affect a child. THATS LIFE!! These kids better get used to it. Otherwise we are going to raise an entire generation of super-sensitive, high maintainance, fragile wusses. Think its bad now, wait 10 years when these emotionally isolated pansies are in the workforce!
Hey my child is perfect.
I say no all the time to my kid, then I explain why. I don't think that I am in the minority in doing that. If you say no and explain why, it makes it crystal clear that they can't do that. I don't think that makes me soft, I think it makes me responsible. I agree with you, that a certain amount of fear is needed to keep kids in line sometimes. My son knows if I am angry at him for doing something wrong, he better not talk back or disrespect myself, or his mother, or else he gets a smack on the bottom and put in his room. I don't think thats mean, It's right, I'm his parent not his best freind.
Yes, we have gotten soft... I had my sister-in-law once tell me after she heard that I spanked my son, that spanking was illegal.. I told her that I got spanked as a child and she said, "Times have changed"... I thought, she's right... We have b/c so soft, we let our children run around and be brats and that's okay.. well, not here it isn't... I don't care what anyone says, my kids get disciplined and they are going to be better adults b/c of it...
I agree with you. now even the kids threaten you with a call to 911. When My son was like 7 he crashed his skated board and banged up his eye, The next day I had Social Services crawling up my butt, The teacher reported me. I threw them off my property and told them to go help some kid that is really getting abused. It is also so sad that parents do not have time for the kids. They spend the first 6 years of their life in day care.And since they learn nothing there some doctor puts them on some drug and label them with ADD which is nothing more the lack of discipline,,,,They were never taught to pay attention.
I don't know why but somewhere along the way we seem to have gotten the impression that we are actually harming our kids when we try to teach them how to behave and respect others. Kids nowadays are growing up not understanding the concept of consequences. It's awful! You were right to tell that child no, and the principal was probably only acting on the fear of displeasing the child's parents. Not that this child's mother has any right to be displeased with anyone but herself and maybe her child.
I'm seeing this new generation of young people and they scare me. It's like they don't know right from wrong. Maybe they don't if parents and teachers and the like are afraid of teaching them with a modicum of discipline. What happens when they turn 18 if they've never experienced any discipline? We are doing our children a great disservice by not preparing them for adulthood when we don't teach them about real consequences - and that requires some discipline.
Children who are never told "no" will find themselves not able to respect adults and will have a hard time transitioning to adulthood. The real world tells us know a lot, no to that perfect job we aren't qualified for, no that person doesn't want to date you, no to financing an expensive car with no credit, no you aren't good enough to be the American Idol etc. etc. Parents who give their children boundaries (curfews, behavior expectations, etc) and require them to respect them are the ones who care.
I think so. Outstanding question!
If you don't say "no," are children even going to know what "NO," means. If they don't say it at home and don't say it at school, Oh my! What a generation that is coming. It scares me to think that people would not raise their children any better than this. This is just awful.
The schools are too concerned with the child's "ego". It is no wonder that as they grow up they have problems adjusting to the real world which could care less if their feelings get hurt. We need to teach our children that with rights come responsibilities and accountability. As it is, they are taught that they have rights and someone besides themselves are responsible.
It is a pity that parents are frightened by a society that meddles in their ability to teach discipline and respect. Also, parents spend less less time with their children due to both parents working.
I understand what u mean. I believe that the world has became soft in school. i know that u cant even discipline the kids in public nor at home in fear of someone calling c.p.s. Kids today are very undisciplined do to this. when I was in school I knew how to act and it sure isn't like the way kids do now.
Yes, we have gone overboard the wrong way. Every parent should read the book of Proverbs. I sure wish I would have when my kids were small. I spanked my kids and never did they or I regret it. I thought out most every situation and tried to use wisdom that my Mother gave to me. I raised two sons as a single mom. My son was voted the best student in his senior class out of 1,500 hundred students. They are still awesome sons. Kids without discipline with love, grow up to be Bullies and in Prisons. In the sixties the principle would have taken that child down for a paddling in the office for you, and he would have never pushed another child down. Our government, CPS and other liberal parents are ruining families.
Unless we get back in our schools what use to work and stop all this nonsense with our sueing generations. We are in trouble as a nation. I hate to think what this world will be in another ten years. You did the right and responsible thing. People make mistakes everyday but a believer in God know that God makes no mistakes. When He tells us If you love your child correct them. He knows what he is talking about. This means to do this with love and correction when a child is violent. They need to know what pain they inflict on others. Are you going to smack your child on the butt before you let him put a fork into the outlet? I think the principle might like it better when he gets a letter from the other parents and their lawyer for damaged caused by that child. I also worked in a Behavior Clinic for children and the number one thing I learned from Psychologist was being consistant and giving praise works wonders. PRAYING FOR THIS WORLD especially Praying for all Teachers and Parents daily. God bless
yes i think we have gone soft. u cant say anything negitive to children at all anymore or ur "destroying their self esteem" or something. well im sorry but wen i was at school everyone behaved because we knew what would happen if we didnt. and i turned out fine. children need more disapline, by the time kids are 12 they are swearing and shouting at teachers (not ALL kids, but more than they used too!!!)
maybe u should have explained why u said no, but there is nothing wrong with saying no, how else will children learn that they cant do something? their not mind readers.
children push boundrys as far as they can, if they know they will get away with something with little punishment, they will continue to do it. positive reinforcement works to a certain degree, but children also need proper disapline when they do something wrong and they know that it was wrong.
Telling a child "no" is said to damage their "psyche" i say BS!! i tell my child no all the time... no you cannot play with fire, no you cannot play in the street, no you cannot stick french fries up your nose... and NO i have not damaged her psyche... I've just taught her to deal with the feeling of disappointment because she will get a lot of it when she's an adult... and I've also gained her respect, and she understands why i say no. Shes the most loving, beautiful natured child I've met and yes that's a biased opinion but i don't care... Shes just living proof that if discipline is done in a constructive way.. it's very beneficial to the child and people around them..
Yeah, I feel the same way. Parents these days are trying so hard to give their kids what they never had, and are forgetting to give them what they did have. It's sad to know that giving your child a spanking can be considered child abuse. How wrong is that? I'm all for giving your child a spanking, as long as it's reasonable. Kids are also less active these days. They sit in front of the tv and play video games all day. I remember my dad wouldn't let me come in the house on a beautiful day, and if I got thirsty, I would drink out of the water hose. This is unheard of now.
They are afraid of being sued
Not ALL parents are like this. I'd just like to point that out first. I stay home with my son, I am not lazy in my raising him, I do not allow him to get away with things and he hears the word no quite enough. We've made changes in our life so I can stay home, we are not rich, we are not greedy to be rich. We are greedy to raise a happy yet well natured child.
Parents have a lot to deal with. People say "Oh, poor kids, they have so much to deal with now" Yeah? So do parents. We have a lot to deal with too. The ones that don't take the time to raise them properly are the ones who will be visiting little Johnny or Jane in prision. Sooner or later someone will punish them for their behaviour. I think saying the word no and then walking away isn't helpful either. You {I mean a general you, not just you} need to teach the children why it's wrong. If you just say NO don't do that. They will do it again. They don't care if someone says no, they need to know why it's no. I have to admit, and I mean no disrespect towards you, but I have to agree with the principal on this, you can't just say no and walk away. You have to explain to them.
The world has gone soft on disciplining children. It is so sad. I was spanked with a belt when I was growing up and I have turned into a productive adult. So Whats the problem? I'll also spank my son whenever I want. I dare social services to come a knocking, I'll whip them too. lol
Well, the saying is, if you don't discipline a child, you don't love them. There is no way to function in this world without discipline. If we don't teach our kids through disciplining them, they would think there was no consequence to drugs, violence, etc. How triffling is he to tell you that, and it sounds like your principal is lazy and just wants to get through the day with his paycheck (he doesn't have to be in the classroom, so looks like he could care less).I hope you find a better place to work. There are actually principals around who will back you and not put up with that kind of mess.
Children don't respond to negative comments as well as they do to positive ones. You should explain why the behavior was not acceptable rather than just saying no. (Or say something like keep your hands to yourself). Just saying no is not a clear method of disciplining a child because the child could be confused as to what you are referring to as well.
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