Desperate! My daughter is 13 years old and?
Answer:
If it's a matter of her not liking her lunch, then perhaps she can prepare her lunch herself or help you in preparing it. That way you know for sure she's eat it. That's would be the first step. The problem may just end there. If you are concerned about an eating disorder, then educate yourself about the signs of eating disorders and be on the lookout. If your suspicions grow then talk to her and take her in to see a doc. Get support and help as soon as possible. Also, if you can talk to her teacher without her knowledge ( don't want her to be embarrassed), then express your concern and have teacher confirm that lunch has been eaten ( i'm assuming your daughter isn't in high school yet and that a teacher is present in lunchroom).
Support organizations and information
Pursuit of Perfection
Understanding eating distress from mental health charity Mind.
MayoClinic eating disorders information
BBC Mental Health on eating disorders
The National Eating Disorders Association
Eating Disorders Association
Somerset & Wessex Eating Disorders Association Eating Disorders support and information in Somerset, UK.
Something Fishy Eating Disorders website
Web4health Anorexia nervosa section
Why doesn't she eat it? If she doesn't like the food, find out what she would eat and pack that (not if it's candy bars and cookies only, but find some things you can both agree on). If she wants to buy lunch there then you could agree to pay a portion of the cost or the whole cost depending on what you are comfortable with, provided you are satisfied with the menu. Does she give it away to kids who don't have lunch? If so you could pack more food- enough for her and her friend(s) if you can afford it, or talk to the principal (if she doesn't mind) about the kids who don't have lunch. Does she give it away to try to be popular? If so then you have bigger issues than that to talk about. In any case find out why and then address the underlying issue. She does need a lunch but ultimately if none of the solutions work then it is her decision whether to eat it or not.
Well, to be honest with you, I really don't eat that much either. She may be going through a phase I mean she is 13. They seem to go through them kind of things. I remember when I was 13. Wait a minute, no I don't...anyways, just accept it. I am sure she wouldn't mean to hurt you in anyway. it could just be temporary too.
maybe she doesn't like what you are giving her for lunch. do you ask her what she wants or do you just make what you think she likes. try asking her why she is not eating her lunch. there maybe an underlying problem, good luck
Well maybe she feels she should give it to someone who dont have money for food. Ask her why she dont eat her lunch.
She might not be hungry at lunch time. What time does she have breakfast? What time does she have lunch? I went through a period at about that age where lunch was just too early and I wasn't hungry yet, so I'd pack some bananas or something and munch between classes. If she's eating breakfast and dinner normally, it's probably nothing to worry about.
Ask her why she doesn't eat it. Maybe she just doesn't like it. Not everyone eats lunch or has too. As long as she is healthy.
You should show her that eating lunch is good for her health.Send her to school without lunch some days and, maybe, she will be hungry and will ask you to give her lunch.
how about what she would like to bring to school for lunch very simple but ummm maybe she not hungry by the time lunch come me im in high school and i never eat lunch
Ask her why she does this. And then, depending on that answer, continue to ask probing questions. It may be due to anxieties she has about being skinny or maybe it is due to a need for affirmation and she is trying to buy friendship with others by giving them her food. Ask probing questions here. And yes, you shouldn't yell at her.
when i was that age i got tired of bringing lunch to school too. i felt like a baby. start giving her money instead of packing lunch. so she can buy her own food and have a little independence. and plus its a pain to have to carry around food with you (she could be giving it away in the morning). i think she'll appreciate it if you just gave her some money.
My son is 6 and most of the time he doesn't eat his lunch. He NEVER eats his snacks that I pack because there is this little girl that always bugs him for his cookies. I just make him finish his lunch when he comes home. Since I can't be there to feed him, I just make sure he eats a good breakfast and if he doesn't eat lunch then he'll eat something when he comes home. I personally never ate lunch when I was in school. I usually ate when I came home. Don't yell at her because maybe she will start to lie and tell you she ate when she really didn't just so she won't get in trouble. Good Luck.
Why don't you just ask her. Do you think for a minute she is going to turn out exactly like "you" want her to? Start giving her some decisions to make for herself. It's not uncomon for a thirteen yr. old to go through this. The media is giving you false fears.....
dont pressure her jus sit her down an ask her y shes not eating if she refuses 2 tell u she could b gettin picked on at school its common these days for young girls 2 worry about weight because of all the crap they see on tv... if thats the problem again dont pressure her jus give her healthy foods its up 2 her 2 eat them in the end u cant really force her 2
wow , maybe sit down with her an find out why she;s not eating. maybe she does not like what your giving her ? maybe shes going through a Phase , I did when i was in High School , I didnt eat much. Maybe give her 4-5 bucks an let her get stuff at school , chips, Cookies, anything as long as she puts something in her tummy !! MUCH LUCK.
why? is she worried about her weight or is their a less fortunate kid that cant afford to eat .if its because she already obsessed about her weight i would start to pack healthier things like fruit and veggies low calorie wraps and such but you need to start to approach this problem before it gets out of hand talk with a counsel about her weight issues talk with her yourself too. If shes just a sweetie and some kid is unable to get lunch due to finical problems than have her tell you who it is and you can call the school with out your daughter or the other child knowing and request help with school lunches and breakfast for this child. what ever the reason you'll never know unless you first talk with her good luck if it is a weight issue don't ignore it thinking it will go away it won't and will likely get worse. good luck parenting teen is no easy task
Yeah I would say that maybe she is trying to lose weight and you only give her fattening things or maybe yo lunch is nasty to her.
I suggest you send her to school with $2 everyday and just let her eat the cafateria food. She'll be begging for you to make her something to go to school with after a couple of weeks of that crap.
Nothing to worry about. When hungry she will eat.
I dont mean to trivialize your situation,but this may add some perspective...my neighbors 13 year came and told her parents that she was a lesbian, that she had been with both sexes intimatley and she perfered girls, she also said she had an girlfriend and that they agreed they could be intimate with any boys they chose ..but could have no intimate contact with other girls.so needless my neighbor has quite a problem on his hands...so be thankful you only have a lunch issue to deal with.
I had the same problem with my daughter right up until she was going to college & even then she would either hide it in her bag or throw it in the bin on her way out, at the time she was going through some difficult times & just didnt care about anything, I used to give her the food she liked even that didnt work, so i stopped doing packed lunches and gave her a couple of quid a day to get what she wanted. Teenagers are very fussy with their food but please try not to give in2 her 2 much, even now she is still fussy and she is 19. I think the main problem is the fact there is to much publicity on what size young girls have to be,
Talk to her maybe she is having emotional problems
All i can tell you is I'm 15 & i have some seirous emotional problems that make me not want to eat at lunch.
you say that you don't want to yell at her. then don't. simply ask her what is up. treat the conversation as one adult to another. do not talk down to her and expect to have her respond in anyway other than parent to CHILD. try to have an adult conversation with her about it ...I was easily able to talk with my parents in a mature manner when that age because they trusted me to say what was on my mind. The bigger deal you make out of it the worse it can get .Just ask her.. nothing more ..no patronization... no sweet talk just girl to girl as a friend the trends to be a toothpick has been engendered on women for decades now and the abusively thin woman that model on runways and in publications are part of that horrible image that young women get of themselves at very early ages ... above all don't panic... in your mind see your talk as one you would have with your best friend about eating or not... and why then go from there... it is great that you are concerned and want to be proactive on the matter instead of just reactive... remember that.. love her and you gotta shot at finding out if there is a problem and how to work on it. good luck
its okay cause none of my children it school lunch so when they get home from school i have lunch there for them there mostly worried about what the other children are saying about free food for the poor and who watching them eat and have something to say bad about it dint worry yourself code of the teens
Give her lunch money and let her buy lunch.
Is she shy at all? Maybe she just doesn't want to eat in front of people, I have known many girls who do this, weird but, true. If this isn't the case give her some money to take to school to pick what she wants, maybe she just doesn't like the lunch that you sent. Just ask her why she does this and maybe she will give you the real answer.
I didn't eat lunch in school because it was the only chance we had to really socialize, the rest of the time was spent hurrying from class to class.
I agree with everyone who has said you need to talk to your daughter. Listen to what she has to say, without judgement, and ASK her what you can do to help. Why are you hurt? I don't understand that at all...are you taking it personally?
If she's eating breakfast and dinner, I'd just make sure that there was plenty of appealing, healthy snacks in the kitchen for her to grab when she gets home. It might be a phase, or a fad, or just she's not hungry at that time of day. I remember in sixth grade, it was only cool to have yogurt for breakfast.hah! We'd all make sure to take our halfeaten yogurt containers to wait for the bus.
Ask her why she is giving her lunch away..Then go from there.
Check this out! When I was 13, I had to take my lunch to school. I was not the most popular, but I was cool. The last dang thing on earth I wanted to do was pull out a sack lunch! All my friends had a few bucks to get cheese fries and a pop. There i was pulling out my little embarrassing clear plastic bags of ruffles, a sandwich, a fruit and a juice box. AJUICE BOX! I usually threw it out or my freinds and I would eat the chips. everything else went in the trash. I would be dern, if the cute boys in the school ever saw me eating PB&J, chompin on a apple and sucking on that dang BOX!. Give her a few bucks.Trust me she may never tell you why, I didn't explain it to my parents. She won't starve to death, unless she has other issues with food. As long as she eats breakfast and dinner, don't worry.
You should really find out WHY she's giving it away and work from there.
Ask her why she doesn't eat it. I got in trouble in second or third grade for throwing my sandwiches away, then got in trouble again for hiding them in my desk. My mother had no clue I wasn't eating them till the school called her. I was hungry, but hated that catsup or margerine made the bread all soggy and mushy, and just couldn't force myself to eat it, and was starving by the time I got home. So, there may be a simple explanation as to why she's not eating it, and you can fix it.... no catsup or condiments worked for me. I don't know why I didn't tell my mother at the time, but my parents had a strict "do as you're told" mentality, so I may have felt I couldn't talk to her. So just keep the communication lines open.
Maybe the fact that you posted this question in "grade schooler" instead of "adolescent" is a clue . . . definitely tell her that you want her to have some nourishment during the day, and ask what would work best for her. Maybe she wants to buy her lunch, or eat something different. Don't be upset or angry when you talk to her - the holidays are a great time to say "let's start something new after you go back to school - how would YOU like to change your lunch? Your choice as long as it's somewhat healthy . . . "
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