My son is 10 and out of control. When he doesn't get his way he throws things and hits me.?
Answer:
Well, I spanked my son once, only once, when out of anger he hit me. He was 5 yrs old and he never hit me again. He did hit another kid about 2 years later, and that kid (his best friend whom we still are friends with) gave him a black eye. to my knowledge he has never hit another person.
He is hitting you because he can get away with it. If he came out after you, at 10 years old, you need to treat him as though he is an assailant, in HIS mind he is, and at 10 he has the ability to do some serious damage to you. I assume he kicked you in the "s"hin, not chin (or else those Karate lessons sure didn't pay off). At which time you should have grounded him, and I mean put him face down on the floor, both hands behind his back with your knee in the small of his back. Using a little leverage to bend his arm up to inflict a bit of pain you should then, in a calm collective manner explain to him that kicking you was not the thing to do, that all his toys, and especially those electronic games would be given to Good Will tomorrow. His room would be cleaned out of everything other than clothes and his bed, mementos would be put in storage everything else would given or thrown away. That he now has to go to his room and go to bed and tomorrow instead of going to school he would help get rid of all his possessions.
Then the next day you would follow through with your plans. After giving away everything, take him to the library and get him a library card. Explain that all his entertainment will be found right there from now on. After he comes home from school he will have to do his homework, do some chores that you outline for him to do, eat his supper, and then spend the rest of the night reading.
From that moment on you will have changed your family's life. You will know what it is like to be the parent. and your son will truly know what discipline is about, and may start to learn what it is to be a child.
For a long time now, you have treated him as an equal, and considering his age he now feels like you need to be treated as a child. A child lashes out at their peers. A child attacks when their target is weaker then they are. A child backs down from an adult, but loves and respects their parent too do much more than to raise their voice.
Its time for you to step up to being the parent and allow your child to be the child. As we can all see he's getting tired of you not doing the things he wants you to do and its just not going to work much longer like this.
Get professional help NOW! Ask your son's school for a referral to a GOOD psychiatrist. I went through this same exact thing for 10 years before I learned that he was ADHD & Bipolar. He's 20 now and taking meds & is a wonderful human being now. Good luck!
Wow! I'm sorry I don't have the answer for you but wanted you to know that there are others trying to find the same answer. My son is ADD and ODD and can throw some pretty huge tantrums! After he started on Concerta though this doesn't happen near a frequently. My son was/is also acting out in school too. Sounds like you did EXACTLY what you should have done, In my opinion.
Lower the boom on the brat - you must start punishing/removing privledges or however you do it. Be mean and stay strong!
He is a child - if you let him continue you can guarantee that he will spend some of his life in the jail system.
Mom...I have been where you are. You MUST put a stop to this NOW! You must get someone to intervene and please tomorrow get and read the book by Dr. James Dobson "TOUGH LOVE". I REALLY DO KNOW what you are going through. Please learn from my mistakes. God has blessed me through it all and my son is now serving God in Kabul as an engineer. But it was NOT easy as a single mom. Find a good Bible preaching church, and make a big deal about letting tlhem know what you are struggling with. If there is not an outcry to help you, then find another church that will. If you MUST involve Social Service then do so, but I challange you to not let this be your first stop if at all possible.
IF YOU ARE PHYSICALLY attacked again...call the police. You must do it. This is serious not ONLY for your safety, but it is wrong to raise a child to think they can get away with this behavior. What sort of ADULT do you think he will turn into unless he learns "boundries?" I will be praying for you.be strong AND DO SOMETHING !
SUPER NANNY!
I agree with Professional help. you need it like yesterday. You have waited too long to try and displine him now by just talking to him. You will now need to step up to the plate and deal with your son. I just wonder how he acts at school.
You were a pushover when he was younger.now you want to make a difference and it's too late. Stand your ground and beat him down is the only solution now.
It sounds like this has gone on for a while. So what was his punishment hitting you with pillows, throwing the phone,screaming, ect.? Taking away privileges won't work all the time. If he was my kid i'd spank his butt. It sounds like you dont' spank your kids though. I just know that kids will test the limits and if all that happens to them is getting their "privileges" taken away, then they're going to continue the same behavior.
I think 10 is a rough age, when my son was 10, I threatened him with military school -- like I could have afforded it.
But, I got really strict, one of the things I noticed that made a big difference was TV. I banned it completely. He also lost most of his other priviledges, he also called up his father to tell him he was moving him with him. His father told him he did not want him.
I stripped out his room and told him, that if he did not give me a hard time that day, he could read a book for 1/2 hour before bedtime, Bedtime got moved up 2 hours.
I made myself available to play games or read to him or help him with homework at anytime. We ended up playing games everynight. He was so bored he came in the kitchen to help me cook.
After about a month he was back to normal bedtime and most of his toys. I allowed him to watch only certain TV stations and shows after about 6 - weeks. The stations he could watch included PBS, Discovery and animal planet. Any shows with wise-*ss kids was off limits.
We ended up playing boardgames at least once a week for about 3 years after that. He was not allowed full TV priviledges for at least 6 months.
You have got to be strict and do not allow him to hit or kick you. Tell him that one episode of physical violence sends his punishment back to the beginning.
He sounds angry, get him to a psychologist, call the school, they should be able to help.
you should talk to your son show ur son that you are his mother and he is not your level show him that your the one protecting him and supporting him but if u dont got ur son by that i think u should see a psychiatrist. cause its not a good for a son to beat up there parents cause you are the one that give life to your son remind your son about that without you he cant see the world
Spank his *** good
I don't understand some of you people. How can you allow your child to hit you and throw things at you? He is a child. Make him respect you! He sees that you won't properly discipline him so he keeps on doing it! You need to give him one good ***-whooping and then maybe he'll stop.
I have a 6 year old in a similar situation. I am currently considering to see a counsler. Maybe you should do the same. It will not make things any worse.
First of all, has he always acted like this or is this something new. If this is new and unusual behavior for him, something may have happened to him (bullying at school, someone touching him inappropriately, etc.) and that is how he is dealing with it, but if this is his usual behavior, then the fault lies with you. You have let him get away with the behavior too long. My son is also 10 and from the time he was old enough to say mama and dada, he was disciplined. I know this sounds awful, but my son knows that if he ever raised his hand to me, he knows he and I would go a round and I would. Where is your son's father? Maybe he could help.
I feel for you. This is a hard situation to be in. My son used to try me like this. It went on and on, until one night I had enough. He was throwing a screaming fit and I planted myself firmly in front of him, and in a dead level voice repeatedly told him to calm down. I told him I would not leave until he calmed down and talked to me in a reasonable tone of voice. This went on for literally hours. It took this standoff for him to see that I was not intimidated by him. Oh, he tried everything to get me to go away, but I stood my ground. It worked. We have not had a repeat of this behavior since.
I agree that the James Dobson book may be helpful. If your son's behavior continues, I also agree that you may need to seek professional help. Ask your school guidance counselor. They can refer you to inexpensive or free help if counseling is not covered by your health insurance. Just the threat of counseling may scare your son into ending his bad behavior.
Good luck to you. Feel free to contact me if you need any emotional support.
Poor baby mommy's little angel gets his way.
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