More about 10 yr old son - discipline advice!?
Answer:
This is a normal behavior. You should not get him for not wearing a belt. let him not wear the belt unless he goes to a private school. let him decide the little things for himself, you can't always be there to pick on him. talk some sense into him. restrict hours to play his games. each day AFTER you have checked his homework he can play his games for 2 hours. when he improves even just a little in school reward with points. and as the points reaches a certain amount of points take him to the toy store and let him pick one game that he likes.
you are not a BAD parent, you just need to enforce the rules a bit more.
Your son sounds exactly like MY 10-year old son... I would like to suggest the possibility that he has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
Take a look at some of the following, and tell me this doesn't sound like your son...
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.h...
From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/attention_d...
and this one from the National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cf...
A few things: first off, this is NOT your "fault". ADHD is organic and mostly genetic in origin. My son has it because I have it - and had it as a child (even though it wasn't "recognized" back then.)
Best thing to do is make an appointment with your family doctor to discuss. Good luck!
Take away his play -station, and wii, since he doesn't deserve it for the behavior he is showing, and neglecting. I know for sure, his behavior will change, since his "love" for his systems is on the line. Give him reward, even if its a little effort. We know as a parent we want them to suceed and learn, but also praised them for the LITTLE effort they do and hopefully he would gradually increased his potential. Don't let him go out, and play around, unless he is not PROGRESSING! Take everything away from his reach, the telephone, tv, play station, and computer. Tell him how is future will be if he continue on his behavior, and that you won't always be there for him when he needs you.
Nothing is his fault? Oh man. My son is that way. All the time.
"I forgot". Another thing my son does.
Yes, my son always wanted to play PS2 and it was his "life". Guess what? You misbehave? Make bad grades? No PS2.
I've also been told that it's all about behaivor modification- praising. It can be something simple. One morning he remembers the belt? Praise him like he's solved the world's problems. He did what you said the first time without an argument? point it out and praise him.
It was hard for me to do as well, given that I also felt like we were at a point where nothing could be praised. But it's the little things that matter- and those things build up to the big things.
Yes, it's all normal for you to feel the way you do. It's hard raising these children with these issues.
It's his time, he wants to show you that he's not a child anymore, he's sick of being questioned or arranged for his things, but i think you might have spoiled him a little bit when he was younger, right? Because i can see that he doesn't even afraid of his parents or he might be a very stubborn person.
I might suggest that at the first step, let him do all the things himself and see what happen.
Hi,
some of that is normal for any child ,they don't like there parents telling them what to do, and when it comes down to the teachers the kids have always had it out for them, and have always thought that the teacher had it out for them. think back when you were a kid wasn't there a teacher that you thought hated you. or kid who blamed everything on the teacher. and i am sure that you can find something to praise him on even if it is brushing his teeth,combing his hair,or just ting his shoes, those are a few places to start, try to find something to praise him so that you can build his confidence and yours.
First of all stop doing and telling. His homework is HIS responsiblity. Either he does it or he doesn't. If he doesn't do it he will fail. The world won't come to an end but he will be held back while his peers move on. Stop arguing with him about getting ready for school. Give him an alarm clock tell him to get his own butt out of bed and dressed and ready, if he isn't ready by the time the bus get's there shove him out the door anyway. Going to school once in his pjs should just about do it. Why does he have a playstation or Wii? And why is he playing it without earning the time to do so? If he complains that he is bored put a dust cloth and furniture polish in his hands and tell him to get to work. Stop listening to his complaints about his teacher and his peers...Oh and yes the behavior is quite normal...it's called being a pubescent boy.
DEAR
SO SORRY TO SAY YES BUT YOU ARE (1) NOT A BAD MOTHER (2) RE SET THE GROUND RULES THE NEW SHERIFF'S IN TOWN (3) SAY I BROUGHT YOU IN THIS WORLD I WILL TAKE YOU OUT. (4) NOW LETS TALK PUNISHMENT'S AND GROUND RULES NOW FOR BAD BEHAVIOR OK. GOES A LITTLE LIKE THIS PLEASE AND PRETTY PLEASE STICK TO YOUR LAWS THAT YOU SET FOR HIM OK AND DO NOT BACK DOWN AT ALL, (1) NO VIDEO GAMES TV DVD MOVIES VCR MOVIES NO PC COMPUTER GAMES ON LINE NO CHATTING ON LINE NO CELL PHONE CALLS NO PHONE CALLS NO FRIENDS OVER AFTER SCHOOL ARE WEEKENDS NO SLEEP OVERS NO HANGING OUT LIKE HE CALLS IT NO GOING TO THE MOVIES WITH HIS FRIENDS FOR THE COMPUTER HOME WORK ONLY AND GROUNDING HIM TOO. THAT IS STEP ONE NOW IS THE EXTRA HARDER PART OF THE DISCIPLINE PUNISHMENT PART (# 2) IF YOU GET BAD REPORT CARDS NOTES FROM TEACHERS PRINCIPALS BOTH OF THEM REGULAR ARE VICE THEN YOU DO TO THE SCHOOL HAVE A PAPER SIGNED SAYING YOU WILL NOT SUE IF THEY PADDLE HIM THEY WILL NOT I REPET WILL NOT HURT HIM THEY WILL JUST SPANK THE BOTOM OF HIM GOOD AND THEY WILL CALL YOU BEFORE IT HAPPENS WHY HE IS WALKING TO THE OFFICE WITH THE WRITIED UP CARD FROM THE TEACHER OK . NOW AS FOR HOME IF HE GETS REALLY SMART WITH YOU (1) PUT HIM ON HIS KNEES IN THE CONNER NOSE TO THE WALL AND WASH HIS MOUTH OUT WITH DAWN DISH WASHING SOAP LAST YOU PADDLE HIM ON THE BOTTOM ALL PROBLEMS DEALT WITH AND SOVLED IN THE SHEIFFERS HOUSE HOLD OK
TAKE CARE
your son shows many indications of depression.
ADHD is a medical term for lazy ..or for kids who do not get whipped, and there reward is a pill that turns them in to zombies, tell him one time then bust his *** , how bad of a parent are you going to feel like when he turns this behavior in to criminal behavior...You have to teach him to be responsible, and not to be afraid to admit when he is in the wrong, I use the whipping approach ,and a few years ago when I was having to go to the school my son would be in the office saying ,"well it was such&such ,I did not do it" I walked in and said "son ,the truth ..Now" and out came his admission of guilt, you have to be the parent not the buddy, my son only ignored me one time ,with the playstation , I put my foot through the game system, a year or two later he used his money to re-purchase a playstation 2 but when I say "son" he hits pause,and says "sir" problem solved.. AND do not worry about child services I had them called on me by the school for whipping my son , I told the lady I whipped him I will continue to whip him ,and either take me to jail ,or I would whip her, then I told the school if they ever interfered again I would bring my child ,and all of his belongings to the school ,and they could raise him , No More Problems from them or the kids
Some of this describes my son exactly and he is also 10. My son has mild ADD and I have noticed the symptoms of this starting when he was two. Think back to when your son was little did he have some of the same things going on when he was very young? If yes he may have ADD. If not there could be something else going on like a behavior issue. If it is ADD there are other options besides medications such as diet and herbs. My son is on herbs (approved by Dr.) from native remedies and they work great for us..
By the way to all of the ignorant people who say to beat the child, I hope that you do not have children. Until you have personally dealt with a child who has this you have no clue what a challenge this could be, and beatings are never the answer. Good Luck.
Boys will be boys, I have 2, an 7 and 9 yr. old. The ADD or ADHD thing has it's place however I think now adays it is everyone's answer. My son was diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing Disorder 4 yrs. ago and it has alot of the same symptoms as ADD and sure enough we are on meds. Yes it has helped him but he still has the "i don't know" moments and love this but mine will forget to put on underwear and say "oh I forgot"...I used to just get irritate but now I try and make lite of it. Go back in time and remember the terrible 2's or 3's, all children have phases and this is probably just one of them. He is growing up, puberty right around the corner, he could be feeling stuff inside he doesn't know how to process. Just be his mom.
Ok, I suggested this in your other topic. but this topic just spelled out ODD.
Check out this site:
http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=children+w...
Discipline is not the answer in this case. Have his ADD addressed and it will help both of you deal with ODD.
I do know a young man that has ODD, it has taken him and his parents a long time to understand the problems, deal with them, and eventually overcome them, but it can be done!
Your son is playing you like a drum and you just keep going for it. A child can only do what you allow them to. So when it boils down to it the teacher's, the other parents, principal everybody else is blaming you for your child's actions what he does reflects on you. That ADHD crap is a excuse and if you fall for that you will fall for anything. I have really big family and several of my family members were on medications for this when we were growing up but that didn't stop my family from disciplining us when it was called for whip his a** a couple of times and I bet he will start remembering what his responsibilities are and it will help he become a better person. I know from personal experience so quit getting played and be the player!
i dont really have advise, i have the same problem with my 9 1/2 yr old, he gets good grades but i feel like a broken record everyday i have too tell him to do the same things or not to do, its like i get so frustrated with having to repeat myself and yelling that i cant even be around him without being tense.
stop reminding him about the belt,perhaps his pants will fall off in class.Just be sure he wears clean boxers.
He'll learn quick !
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