11 year old not taking baths?
Seriously his hair really needs a good cleaning.
I'll try and send him back in there but he still doesn't do a good a job. I've even threatened to give him a bath and sit there and watch him or wash him myself... the threat didn't even phase him. He said "I don't care."
What are my options here? I've tried reasoning with him and nothing works. He's just like a little kid, what should i do?
Answer:
Give him a bath yourself. Do it every night until he gets sick of it. He says he doesn't care, but he will once you start giving him a good scrubbing. Then tell him you expect him to be thoroughly cleaned every time he takes a bath himself, or you're going to start doing it for him again.
Act on your words.. give him the bath.. it will make him feel like a baby.. do this for a while then let him do it again by himself.. if he still dose it. keep giving him bath tell he dose it on his own...
Follow through. Put on something that you wont mind getting wet (trust me here), and put him in the bathtub and scrub him as if he was a dog. Get help containing him if you need, 11-year-olds can be tough. When you're done tell him that if he hated it so much he can do it himself again, but you'll have to help if he cant do a good job.
Maybe try an incentive to get him to do a better job. Candy bar, later bedtime, go eat somewhere he likes. Stuff like that.
I don't know why but at that age they seem to not care about personal hygiene. I remember when I was young my brother would never take a shower or he would take one every other week. He'll grow out of it when he becomes a teenager.
u should tell him that its gross to be dirty and that girls or anybody doesnt like smelly,dirty,yucky boys !
Sounds like my 7 year old..lol, I have also threatened to give him a shower myself or watch him to make sure he cleans well, but that worked with him. He went back and did it better. That may be what you have to do. Even if he says he doesnt care, he might actually care if you actually do it. I honestly dont knwo what else you could do about that.
It could be rebellion. He's not a teenager (yet) but it's his way of rebelling.
You or his other parent should explain to him the importance of cleanliness. It can lead to oily, lanky hair, acne on the face and body, etc. It can also lead to isolation and rejection from his peers because no one wants to be around a smelly person.
I read an anecdote of a college age student who refused to use the bathroom at his dorm. It was noticed because he lost 3 roommates in one semester because no one wanted to room with him. Apparently he'd use old water bottles for waste containers. They tried to politely and indirectly try to get him to come around, but finally someone talked to him.
Apparently the young man had a previously undiagnosed social anxiety disorder in which he had a fear of using the public facilities. He'd go home and come back clean shaven and clean, but he'd never use the bathrooms at the dorm. After he got counseling and medication, his anxieties eased. This is an extreme case, but you never know.
I suppose you could always try hosing him down, but I doubt he'll like that.
Do what you have threatened. . . give him a bath. If you don't someone at school is going to send him home and then call CPS or social services. You need to punish him for his lack of actions.
Find out why he wont do it. I didn't bathe for like a month when I was a kid cuz there were these noises coming from the pipes that scared the heck out of me. When my mom figured it out, I told her and she explained to me that there were no monsters in the pipes and then I took a shower.
Anyway, the point is that I wasn't not bathing to be a difficult child, I had a reason that was valid to me. So does your son, even if that reason is something like, his favorite show is on tv.
Also, I work with young people, and it is inevitable...boys are dirty. Make sure he knows how to bathe correctly...and don't just assume cuz you tell him that he does.
DON'T Bathe him yourself...that could be traumatizing. See if someone, other than you, preferably and older male can explain the importance of hygeine to him. He's 11, the girl thing will help him to smell good soon enough.
YOU CAN wash his hair in the sink though...it would probably help you to feel a little better.
Good luck.
Own up to your threats! There is no point in saying that you will do something if you don't because that is why your kid isn't responding to your threats. See if this changes his actions! Maybe after you wash him yourself he will realize that you're not kidding and will do it himself. If not then begin taking away his privileges! Start with his privacy! That is always a big thing with young teens! Especially when he takes a shower, tell him he has to leave the door open so you can supervise him! Take away other things as necessary until he understands. If this doesn't help try treating him like a little child! Tell him that if he can't behave like an 11 year then he won't get treated like one. Five or six year olds might not wash correctly so start treating him like one! Take away his things that might signify his age, like video games. Make him sleep in a crib of some sort or make him go to sleep at an earlier time and make sure you tell him that he's being treated like a little child. Over-exaggerate EVERYTHING! Hope this helps!
Follow through on the threats. If he knows that it is something that you are not going to follow through on he won't change. Tell him if he wants to act like a child he is going to be treated like one and you will have to start bathing him again.
It's certainly a phase that kids around that age go through. As embarrassing as it may be, give him a bath. He will be embarrassed over it, but eventually get the hang of things and know what is expected of him.
Have u encouraged, how the other kids will tease him! I mean they truly will, and hurt his feelings, they maybe he will! Sit down and explain this to him!
Use the waterhose. Each of our boys (my now-5yo stepson, my almost 5yo son, and my 3yo son) went through a phase where, although they were potty trained, they would not stop playing outside to go to the bathroom. Inside, they'd use the toilet, outside, they'd mess their pants rather than stop playing. Really stupid since then they had to stop playing even longer to get clean but they were little. My DH put up with it from each in turn for a while, with warnings and scoldings, but with each, once he got exasperated, he would make them strip off outside and turn the hose on them- for each of them, it worked. After one hosing, that kid never did it again.
I know this sounds odd, but it worked for my mother in law who had the same problem with her 12 year old. Take him to Wal-Mart and let him pick out stuff for his bathroom. Like a new shower curtain that he likes with matching bath mats and towels. Have 'his' towels clean and in the bathroom at all times. Make the bathroom and extension of his room, so that he feels comfortable in there. Get him ' cool ' shower products, like the Axe body wash and deodorant. And some of that Suave or Loreal Men shampoo. Get him a radio for in the shower. Maybe taking a shower is boring to him. If it doesn't work, then you're out l like 50 bucks. If it does, that lack of smell and embarrassment will be well worth it. Good luck!
Seems like all boys have that phase. I swear my son-in-law never grew out of it. Smells bad all the time and he's 35.
In the army, we had a guy that would not bath and the platoon was catching extra duty over it. He was escorted to the shower and we used some really rough scrub brushes. Once he finally recovered, he showered daily.
Your son probably shouldn't have that done to him. I would go out and buy some really strong perfume. I remember my sisters wearing something called Jungle Gardenia. Just a little went a long way and it was cheap, too. After he comes out of the shower and any time you smell him, pour it on him.
Take lipgloss/lipstick or something that you have to scrub at to get off. Put it where he does clean such as armpit, foot, behind ear, forehead ect ect then have him wash it off.
Have you tried reward charts?
Wash that kid on every inch of his body, including his hair! Do this until he starts to wash on his own.
take him 2 the barburs, or tell him, if you take a GOOD shower, I'll get you that video game that you want!
Take him to a salon once a week to get his hair cut, washed and trimmed. Require him take a bath with alot of soap. Do not allow him to take showers! Now that you have threatned to give him a bath, next time do it! People will not believe what you say but they will believe what you do.
then u goin their with them and wash them or help them
don't just threaten to wash him follow through. Take him in wash him and do his hair. It won't be long before he does it himself
seriously this is funny wash him until he gets a stiffy and he wil be embarrassed LOL
he is tying maybe to send a message to you he knows he is big enough but still wants you or dad to help out try rewards maybe popcorn and a movie after bath time or it is yours and dads night at the computer, or mom and me nights it really does work threats do not because he will not care
It's not just your 11 yr old boy my nephews are going through the same thing the best thing you can do is act on your threat or wait til his friend start making fun of him enough that he does it himself but given that it's at the point you are asking "us" what to do I would act on your threat! Don't give him gifts for things he should just do!
Ahh pubecent boys. For some reason some of them don't like to take baths for awhile. You can do what one of my mother's friends used to do with her son. He had to go into their back yard before she would let him in the house, that was where she hosed him down as he stripped down to his "skivvies". After a she was sure he was relatively clean she would give him a large towel (beach towel or bath "blanket) and he could go inside and change clothes. After a couple of weeks of that he started showering again...I think it had something to do with the neighbor behind them, his daughter had taken to peeking through a hole in the fence at him and told some kids at school LOL
If his father is around, he needs to step up and show him how it is done. You are the parent quit allowing him to walk on you. What is gonna happen when he is 16 and he decides to show disrespect?
Not intended to be hars, but think about it.
do what my friends parents did for him when he did this, threghten to hose him down in the yard naked for all the world to see, if he doesnt straighten up when it comes bath time take him outside and do it, it will embarass him soo bad he wont ever think of not showering again, it worked for my friend, now he is still one of the cleanest people i know, that memory stuck with him, he was 10 at the time, he is 15 now and takes showers if he even starts to stink, so it works, but only use as the extreme last measure... and follow through on your word to give it to him
why don't you explain personal hygene to him see if he understand why he need regular showers and to wash properly if he understands and is still defiant march his little *** into the shower clothes and all and give him a good scrubbing can almost garentee he will wash properly after that
Trust me you don't have to do a thing. My son was the same way, untill age 12. He then discovered GIRLS. It will only take one girl to say to him YOU STINK and he'll be washing every morning before school. lol Trust me
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.