My 5 year old?
Answer:
Usually sweet talking works on kids. If that doesnt work though, you have to put him in a time out. Spanking and physical violence won't do much and he'll just learn to hit back. Deprive him of a treat (not a necessity) and NEVER bend the rules for him. If you say grounded for 2 weeks, its grounded for 2 weeks. not 11 days or 3 or adding time unjustifiably.
You're the boss of him. Show him how much you control his life. Never lock him up or leave him alone, though. Ask him to say sorry if he wants to get off easy. After he apologizes, hug him, kiss him. It's very important to show that you love a child when he's good and make him want you to love him.
Call in Super Nanny fast!
Or at least read her book.
SUPER NANNY!!
Seek professional help, every child is different and no one can tell you how to punish your child without knowin his condition.
Talk to the school psychiatrist.
Let him learn that his fits don't work. He may have to carry on for a while, but he'll soon get tired of doing it when he finds he can't get his way.
And don't talk a psychiatrist or other dumb so-called "professional," as some have suggested.
Spanking doesn't help and can often exacerbate the problem and cause resentment. Be patient and firm and if necessary see an expert.
watever u do dont brive the kid it will make him a spoiled brat like my 8 year old bro
Ignore him, that's what I do with my 5yr old neice, and she hates that,or, my grandmother used to say, "can't you cry any louder? that's not very loud, I'll bet you can do better than that" I hated when she did that, or she even laid on the floor and threw a tantrum just like me, and I'd be shocked.
I know how it can suck when you're at your wit's end and fighting with the husband, etc.
maybe try the tricks above? let us know how they work!
good luck!
take something away that she really likes, buy parenting books or look up a parent support group in your area. maybe she wants some attention, make sure you are giving it to her at the right moment not when she screaming for it
Hey there,
I have some ideas and thoughts that I hope will help you, as a public school teacher working with third graders and having studied discipline in undergraduate and graduate studies. (I'm also a new parent.)
First, don't get discouraged. If you seem frustrated with him or start to "give up" in any way, he will know it and it can fuel the fire.
What I think you need to do at this point is start fresh. One day just sit him down and lay out THE NEW FAMILY RULES - WRITTEN DOWN, too. (Even if he couldn't READ them, it would be more official.) The rules can be simple and cut-and-dry, like NO HITTING. NO SCREAMING. Let him know exactly what the consequences will be when a rule is broken, whether it be a loss of a privilege or a "time out" - whatever works best for your family. Just one thing on that - don't get into sending him to his room, because many parents do that and that is where all the fun and toys are often located!
After laying out the rules, be CONSISTENT. Follow through, even if you are exhausted. It will be worth it. Also, don't pay any attention to him when he is acting out. Be quick to explain what he did wrong and then follow through with the predetermined consequence. Giving him too much attention when he makes poor choices will only encourage him to do it more because children love attention!
Be sure to praise your son after making a good choice, give him hugs and cuddles, and tell him how much you love him.
To combat the bad choice-making, I would also suggest defining some specific "Family Time" where you can give him the attention he craves in a positive setting. It could be a certain time of day, or a couple of days a week. I'm sure that he loves you very much and wants to spend a lot of time with you. This also could be the root of the problem with his throwing fits - he wants attention.
One quote that I heard while studying how to deal with challenging children was this: "What others label as bad behavior is really a plea for love and understanding." This quote had a huge impact on me, and I hope that it helps you put a spin on your situation to make it seem more manageable. If you can just give your son the love and attention he wants and try to figure out WHY he is behaving how he is (you may even try asking him) you can work to solve it. Praise, praise, praise him for every little thing that he does that is a good choice, and you should start to see him work for that all the time.
I wish you all the best and hope that this response helps.
We had that with our son. What we had to do is stop what we were doing since it wasn;t working and try something else. We found the more we yelled and punished our son the worse he got. So we started picking and choosing our battles with him and stay firm !! Once you say something don't back down !!
Don't give in to his bad behavior, take away toys or privelidges when he misbehaves and praise or return things when he doesn't act out. Make him work for the things he wants, even if it's picking up his room or helping his mom with a task. Most important BE CONSISTENT.
Try the website or some books by Love and Logic. They have terrific, simple strategies. Emphasis is on discipline - not punishment - in a loving, respectful, and real manner. Books are cheaper on amazon - the one I like is something like: Love and Logic: When Kids Leave You Speechless. Best of luck.
call supper nanny quick
He's controling the home and you and your husband with his actions. You need to notice him when he is being good. Apparently you are spending too little time with him. I bet you showered him with attention when he was a baby. Now that he is developing a personality and opinions, it's not always easy to look at them as adorable. Try to find a mutual activity you can do all together, an activity with just your husband and him, and one with you and him. Don't stop getting to know your child because he is getting older. Try to understand him and play with him still. Once you establish a routine, he should settle down. Children rely on routines. Another thing, don't tell your child it's ok to do something one time and that it's not ok another time. This confuses and frustrates a child. You are the adult. Don't you lose it! He needs both you and your husband's strenth in self control! Be a good example. Good luck!
i had the same problem with my 5 year old ,consistency in rules and punishments,positive reinforment seem to work .it didn`t take that long to notice an improvement and things are much more bearable now.good luck and remember stay consistent thats really the key
i think you should try and find out the reason why he throws fits and then act according to that. something to keep in mind is to be reasonable and think in your child's perspective. and if you manage to solve it, always remember that protection is better than cure so don't wait until your child acts up to teach him how to behave, rather let your child be sure of the rules in the house.
rewards if he does something good. then as he breaks the habit lessen the rewards until he can behave properly.
Hey, talk to him. Work this the RIGHT WAY! There is something wrong, something bothering him!
Throwing fits is a way of getting your attention and quite possibly what he want's. The best response to this is to make a time out corner , at five years of age 5 to 10 minutes can be tolerated. If they leave the space put them back, be firm. Do not under any circumstances give in to the fit, even if it is the easy way out. In the long run the time you take now doing the unpleasant disciplining will pay off. Ear plugs will help, learn to tone out the screams... be patient, hitting him will only teach him that when you are angry or upset with someone, it is o.k. to hit them. Good luck.. Also, make sure your husband and yourself schedule in some "us time".
Responding to this behavior is just contributing to keeping it going, now that he sees he can get a rise out of both of you he will continue to do so until you stop. First, tell him to stop and you will not speak to look at him until he does, do so calmly and in a quiet voice. Second, if it does not stop, put him in a safe place by himself and leave him. This now shows him that you will not acknowledge nor accept this form of behavior. ONLY when he is ready to speak calmly do you acknowledge him, if he continues to throw a fit and leaves the safe place, put him back in the safe place and leave again. This is especially hard for Mothers to do, because their baby is crying. And this will not be easy, it is definitely easier said than done, but hold steady and continue this EVERY time, he throws a fit, and in a couple of weeks he will stop, but be consistent do this every time, even in the future.
u r child may b suffering from wht is termed by medical experts as "attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder," which manifests itself with symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, poor impulse control, and distractibility. plz seek medical help for this as there is no effective medical cure.
you are both obviously enabling him in some way.
When your son throws a fit - ignore him. As long as he's not hurting himself, he will be fine.
If he throws a fit in a store, drop what you have (even if it means abandoning your shopping cart) and carry him out to the car WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. Put him in his car seat/ booster seat and drive home.
This applies if he throws a fit anywhere until he gets the picture.
When you get home you have 2 options. If he is incapable of undoing his seatbelt, turn to him and sweetly say "I'm going in the house now. I'll check on your in 5 minutes and if you are ready to come into the house and act like the polite little boy I know you are, then you can come in too"
If he is capable of undoing his seatbelt, let him come in, all the while not talking to him. When you get into the house, if he is fairly reasonable, make him look you in the eye and say "I'm going to go make supper now (or whatever you are going to do). If you are ready to act like the polite little boy I know you are, maybe we can play a game (watch tv/nintendo/movie/ whatever) later.
Ignore him unless he is absolutely not safe. When he is reasonable, sit him down and say " I would like to talk with you". "I know that sometimes you get upset, and I really would like to pay attention to you when you do, but when you throw a tantrum, it's hard for me to pay attention. I can't hear whining, and I can't hear yelling or screaming. I can only hear calm little boys who place their hand on my shoulder when they want to talk to me"
You don't have to use these exact words, I'm sure you and your husband can figure out what will work.
Never use bribery with anything - even a box of smarties. Never ever give in. Trust me. Normal, serious, calm conversation with him looking you in the eye will work.
TAKE STUFF FORM HIM AND WHIP HIM
When my 5 year old acts up that way, my husband and I unite firmly and he is grounded. First we give him ample warning as to what is going to happen if he doesn't change his behavior. At that point, he gets his toys taken away. ALL of them and he is then given a chance to earn those toys back. If the bad behavior continues, he loses more priviledges. If the bad behavior continues he is grounded to his room and can come out only for dinner, school, a bath or to use the bathroom, then it is straight back to bed. Usually he turns around pretty quickly when he realizes that mom and dad are standing together and he can't use one of us against the other.
All children are different but I found what worked best with mine was to give as little attention as possible for this kind of behaviour - maybe try using time out so that he can calm down on his own - if you are consistent and he realises that his tantrums don't provoke a reaction from you, you might find that he improves.
I personally think this works better than shouting or spanking as you are denying him what he really wants - attention! I also think that staying calm yourself is really important when he is throwing a tantrum ( I know this can be really difficult though!!).
- there's probably nothing that will work overnight - everything takes time.
I think most children at this age still have their moments - you'll probably find that with age he improves too, as he learns to control his emotions a bit more.
good luck!
Take away all of his favorite things, leave nothing in his room but a mattress, a pillow and perhaps a blanket. Make him EARN back all of his things by acting like a good boy and help cleaning up the house. DON"T BREAK NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL. DON"T GIVE IN.
First of all, no spanking. That just shows him that hitting is OK. I believe in natural consequences. If you do not pick up your toys I will do it and when I pick them up I put them away where you can't reach them. If you do not get dressed you will have to go to school in your jammies. If you don't eat your food, nothing else 'til the next meal.If you throw a fit I can not talk to you until you make things right by apologizing and sitting in the think about it chair for five minutes. I have been in education for 16 years and I use this with my primary as well as jr. high students. Are you talking in study hall? Then you can give an oral report to the whole class. Applied consistently, it works wonders. Good luck to you!
I really hope to be of some help. I have 5 children, one of them 6 years old.
Consistency is everything with children. That must include punishments. He can't be punished for something at one point and then do it again and not be punished to the same severity.
Set up a system of rewards and 'take aways.' Inform him of this though. When he has spent an entire day being good he gets a sticker on a calander. After a certain amount of days with a sticker, he gets a treat he normally wouldn't get. It doesn't have to be something lavish or expensive. Maybe rent a movie he wants to see. On the other side of that though, if he isn't behaved enough to get a sticker, take something away that means a lot to him. A favorite toy or a TV show for a certain amount of time, like 2 days. I guarantee that if you are consist with this, it will work.
I know it's hard not to be completely overwhelmed all the time, thinking you have nothing left to do. You must say composed though. Let him know you are the parent and that his fits aren't getting to you as much as they really may be.
I wish you the very best of luck!
Do a parenting course, be in agreement with handling him and most important be consistant
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