My daughter's teacher is acting like a jerk...?
My daughter is a very independent and quiet girl. She gets good grades and doesn't have emotional issues. However, I suppose it is because she is so quiet, her teacher has decided she must be "depressed". He has suggested counseling to her and has asked her if she cuts herself. This has made my daughter uncomfortable and she is very put off by him, probably adding to his suspicions, because...
Today, another student was acting very quiet, and her teacher asked, "What's the matter with you? Are you on drugs? You're acting like her", and he pointed to my daughter.
I made an appointment to talk with the principal on Tuesday. Is it a violation of her rights if they ask to see her arms?
She sleeps in shorts and is sitting next to me in a tank top right now, and I assure you there are no markings on her skin.
Answer:
A teacher should never embarrass or humiliate a student, If there are concerns or suspicions then the teacher should report those suspicions and or concerns to the schools principal who in turn will evaluate the situation to determine what if any action should be taken. All of this should be done in privacy, not in front of other students and or teachers. Teachers also should not belittle or embarrass students in the class room for any reason.
There may be some ethical and or moral violations of her rights due to the teachers actions but if ask to show her arms in order to verify or discredit those concerns I don't think that would constitute a violation.
I think you are doing the right thing talking to the principal. Saying something like "You are acting like her" is unacceptable for an instructor to say to a child and about a child. You have a right to be angry.
tell that teacher what u think i mean if they are out of line tell him he is out of line. that is ur child and u allow them to teach ur child and if behavior like this continues then request a teacher change and even threaten to get a restrainin order out on him.u dont have to put up with this. and that teacher needs repramanded
If she has nothing to hide them why not show her arms.
But as for his comment to the other child and pointing to your daughter , that is uncalled for and should be stopped. I would have my child placed in another class PERIOD. No exceptions.
No child should have to be harassed by their teacher.
Maybe this teacher sees something you dont. Keep an open mind as to his cause but dont accept his course of action.
NO I DONT THINK THIS CAN BE COMPARED TO PROVING RAPE!! apples/oranges. So is he thinks she is cutting herself then maybe she can wear short sleeve shirts in school and "show" without "Giving In"
bottom line she needs to be in a different class without the distractions of his teaching methods which are lacking
This teacher sounds like he's on drugs. Be very clear with your principle that this is not acceptable. Try to get your daughter a new teacher if she's cool with that.
REPORT HIM AS A SEXUAL PREDATOR. HE MAY BE GETTING OFF ON MAKING HER UNCOMFORTABLE, OR MAY JUST BE A SICK PERVERT TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF HER.
I think your doing the best thing and that protecting our child... You should buy a recording tape and have your daughter record that jerk so it your word against his... I wish you the best of luck...
sounds like a dick, and i thought i had some bad teachers. he really needs to be shut up before some kid actually becomes depressed from his comments.
I WOULD HAVE HER SHOW HER ARMS SO THEY WILL SHUT UP AND LEAVE HER A LONE.I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS I WAS DIFFERENT IN JR HIGH AND HIGH SCHOOL AND I HAD A COUPLE TEACHERS THAT MADE HORRIBLE REMARKS AND WAS PLAIN OUT RUDE.I TOO HAD GOOD GRADES BUT THAT DIDN'T SEEM TO STOP THOSE COUPLE TEACHERS. I AM GLAD YOU HAVE AN APP WITH THE PRINCIPAL TUESDAY.IF SHE OR HE DOESN'T HELP TAKE IT TO THE SCHOOL BROAD.JUST DON'T GIVE UP AND KEEP PUSHING TO GET THE ANSWERS AND HELP YOU NEED TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. I HOPE YOUR DAUGHTERS PROBLEM GETS SOLVED AND I WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST OF LUCK.
Confront the teacher and tell him to stop picking on your daughter or you'll go higher up and get him fired for harrassment. good luck.
There is obviously something that raised a red flag. Teachers don't typically go around asking students about depression and cutting. Most (not all) teachers are good at detecting something wrong with a child's life.
Before you go on a tirade with your daughter's principal, I would be honest with yourself and ask, "could there be something wrong in my daughter's life that I am unaware of?"
Teens will be teens, and if she is exhibiting behaviors similar to that of depression, I would guess she IS depressed or going through something very tough in life that you are unaware of.
I would confront the teacher directly and tell him to "lay off". I would also request that she be removed from his class, he seems to have "prejudged" her for no reason at all. If the principle doesn't help, I would talk to the school superintendant and possibly a lawyer. My son was harrassed by a principal in high school for dressing like an "individual". He was well behaved and got good grades and is now in college. He wore a "derby" hat and round sunglasses (not in class) and had long hair. I hate when teacher's think they can bully a child into conformity!!
I am the mother of three grown girls. I to have had negative responses to them from one teacher or anther. I would never let anyone put them down or insult them. That is not a teachers place. I would be telling the principal that you will not put up with it and it stops now. Teenage kids have enough to contend with just growing up.She sounds like a nice quiet girl and there is nothing wrong with that. Shame on the teacher.
I was the same way I didnt like answering questions in school and I had good grades also and was afraid when the teachers made us stand up to answer questions . This is wrong what this teacher is doing and I cant help wondering what is going on in his head . The way some kids are these days you cant get them to listen let alone work on school work . He should be happy he has a student that is listening to him and getting good grades in his room so what is his problem ? there are the kids that like all the attention and there are quite ones that dont like to be called upon in the class .Yes if I was you I would also do something about him . Good Luck
I would like to think that his intentions are good.but I have to agree with you he is acting like a jerk. Remember when you talk to the principal that you don't get over-emotional...they will blow you off and just think you are an "over protective Mommy". Jot some notes down for yourself so that you cover all the points and reasons why you want to slay the guy!
FYI I have a daughter in the same age group and she has a great bunch of kids she hangs out with and about a month or so ago the group found one of them was cutting. A bright, talented, articulate, funny, straight A student that has a great family life, & lots of good friends,.the group told a favored teacher and now the child is in counseling...it can happen anywhere to anyone.
Tell your daughter to hang in there...it takes all kinds to make the world go around!! Happy Holiday's.
That teacher is defintiley wrong for saying all of that. That is ridiculous. I was a veryyyy quiet girl all through school, but I was also an A student and very happy. I didnt have any issues, wasnt depressed or anything. He is just being stupid. I would definitley go have a talk with the principal. That is uncalled for. Good Luck with it. Hope the principal will listen to you and do something about it.
I think your child's teacher is a giant jerk and yes you are doing the right thing talking to the principal-My daughter is also a good student and quiet and never has a teacher asked my kid such stupid questions. The teacher needs to lose his/her job,he doesn't sound like he should be around children. If the principal does nothing, have a talk with the superintendent about the issue
That's totally creepy...definitely voice your concerns to the principal, cuz that's NOT normal/acceptable behavior from a teacher...and also, tell your daughter to stand her ground, if everything's alright then there's no reason for this guy to be messing with her as he is, and he shouldn't be able to make her feel uncomfortable or unworthy. Just continue being a concerned parent, and talk with the school.
If the teacher truly believed that your daughter was depressed, he would not be doing what he is doing. If he was worried about her he would've talked to you and not embaressing her in front of the entire class. If you are worried about someone being depressed, you never just go up to them and say "Are you depressed?" You talk to them caringly and softly, like "Are you okay?" "Is somethign wrong?" etc. The teacher's behavior is unacceptable and even though I am a supporter of parents NOT being in full control of their child's academic life, you should do something about this. Due to the format he has presented these accusations in, there is no reason to believe that there is any validility in his remarks about your daughter.
if he thinks shes depressed hes certainly not helping by poinying her out in class
I can identify with your daughter. (I'm 14) I'm also very quiet, independent, etc..I've had people ask me if I'm "depressed"..Some people just like to be by themselves, this doesn't mean their "lonely" but merely that they enjoy their time that they have to themselves. You're doing the right thing. What the teacher said is highly uncalled for and you need to do something to stop it. People make false accusations about others and it's just plain wrong. No, it's not a violation of her rights if they ask to see her arms..I think (if your daughter is willing) you, she, and the principal should sit down and talk, and then, if the principal turns out to be an understanding guy who agrees with you, you should sit down with him, the teacher, and your daughter (if she is willing).
thats just wrong you are doing the right thing in talking to her principal thet teacher is offending her and thats not right and your daughter is right to be offended but she should say something shs a quiet girl and all but she should also try to stick up for herself not having her mother deffend her 24/7 but yes you should this is way too much now is when you should get in the situation. dont feel bad do it
Sounds like this is a "teacher" who shouldn't be. Wow, he sounds terribly diturbed! Is the school so desperate they need to retain him?
What he is doing amounts to abuse of your daughter and that is not acceptable in any way!
I'd go beyond the principle to the superintendent and be very clear that this needs to stop. This degenerate shouldn't be working with children!
I also had a teacher that was acting very similar to what your daughter is going through. I felt as though I was being attacked. You should definitely make an appointment with the principal, but no matter what is said in the teachers defense by the principal should matter to you. Your first job is to protect your child. Get her a new teacher and do not take no for an answer. Your daughter will feel as though you are on her side and care. If anything is bothering her she may open up to you because it.
I would meet with the principal and the teacher immediately -- don't wait until next week. Listen to them, and make sure that you take accurate notes or bring along a tape recorder. If you are satisfied with their answers to your questions and any solutions they may have, then use your best judgment. However, I seriously don't think that you will get very far -- teachers who do that will often deny they have done anything and will often blame the student for the offenses. The only person that has the right to ask your child to raise her sleeves is the principal, and if it is the opposite gender must have a school board employee of the same gender present at all times -- much like a search of pockets and things.
Let me also give you another piece of advice. Each state has a board of education. Within each there is an Ethics panel that has jurisdiction over every teacher in that state, and is assigned to investigate these types of things. They also have the power to reprimand or remove the teacher's certification. I think that at least part of his actions are unethical, and could be cause for dismissal. If it were my child, I would make sure that the principal and teacher both know that I intend to file a grievance with the ethics panel of the State Board as soon as possible.
I think what your doing is the best route to go. Secondly I do not think your daughter should have to prove herself to some jerk. The worst part about the situation is that he thinks she has some sort of emotional disturbance what does he think his remarks are doing to her. She goes to school to learn not be harassed by her teacher. That comment you posted Today, another student was acting very quiet, and her teacher asked, "What's the matter with you? Are you on drugs? You're acting like her", and he pointed to my daughter. That right then and there should of instantly alarmed the principal or someone because that right there is assassination of her character. Also when you conference with the principal and hopefully the teacher will be there ask him: What do you want my daughter to be this loud rude kid and talk all during your class and not get her work done. What is wrong with her being quiet. You should see by her work there is not wrong with her because if something was emotionally wrong with her like you think she would not be putting her best effort forward and getting high grades her grades would be low if something to matter with her FOOL! People are so harsh now and days it is a good awful shame! Good Luck!
I also I think you should sue the pants off that teacher and school for harassment and change her school or class because she does not deserve that!
I would definitely talk to the principle. I had a teacher freshman year who would hassle me about my "varied performance" in his class. He yelled at me in the first week of class for talking so I stopped talking...and then he called my mom because I "was too quiet in his class". My mother replied with something to the tune of well good because she should be listening not talking. I also agree with you that she shouldn't be forced to show her arms to the teacher. She's not in a mental facility for those who hurt herself...she had shown no evidence of harmful activity and therefore she has no reason to have to prove she's not harming herself. The teacher is completely out of line.
I think you are right that the teacher is behaving inappropriately toward your daughter. He should not be pointing her out to the other kids and made into an example. Have you tried a conference with the teacher? It sounds like he is concerned about her, but is showing his concern in odd ways. The principal should be notified. If you daughter is very uncomfortable, how is she expected to learn? If the situaltion is intolerable for her, see if she'd like to change classes.
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