School Bully?
My 6 year old niece is getting teased at school.She happens to be a very sensitive child to begin with. How can I build up her confidence without stepping on her parents toes??It's just so frustrating to watch her parents be so passive about the whole thing. Is there something that me, as her aunt can do?? I'm really upset over this whole thing.How can I be pro-active??
Answer:
My six year old was picked on everyday. He is very sensitive as well. At first we told him to tell a teacher that worked for about 3 days then everyone started calling him a tattle-tale. So we told him if he gets picked on again do something. Well, the next day he came home and said i had to go to office today, asked him why and he said that the kid picked on him then pushed him down in the mud. I asked what he did and he said i pushed him back. Since that day my son is no longer being picked on. He didn't get in trouble by the principal either, she knew that he was being picked on. Good luck
The only thing you can do is be there to support her. If the parents are not willing to file a complaint not much can be done.
Try talking to the bully and their parents along with your neice and her parents. This seems to be the only logical way to make things better to me. If the parents are so passive, then maybe don't even include them!
first talk to your niece to figure out how the bully is teasing her. is this person making fun of the way she looks, acts, intelligence... etc. if it is something like that, help her build up her confidence by ensuring her that the bully is wrong, and explain why. also explain that the bully might be insecure about him/herself and that is why he/she is picking on her. i would also suggest that you urge her parents to talk to the teacher and perhaps encourage a meeting with the other students parents. its a shame that your niece's parents are being passive, maybe they just don't understand that teasing and bullying have lasting effects on a child and can hinder their social skills and growth. perhaps you should try to find an article or something about the lasting effects of teasing and show it to her parents and maybe they will become more pro-active in their daughters emotional welfare. but for now, just talk to her, and help her not let the teasing bother her too much. its a tough job, but with you, i think she will be okay.
Compliments ALWAYS help boost confidence. Even if it's something little give her a compliment, that way you aren't really stepping on her parents toes. Tell her she's strong, and teach her some ways to stick up for herself. But if you're really concerned a lot, you have to talk to her parents about it... Or you can always call the school, or talk to the bully's parents.
I would do a little project with her to let her know her good qualities and what makes her special then talk with her about it to teach her to feel good about herself & to ignore it as best she can.Or you can try to work with her on turning something negative to positive by answering with positive remarks!!
Bullying is a big problem and you should encourage her parents to act on it. It is not a "normal" childhood experience and we should stop treating it that way. Most of the recent school massacres were committed by kids who were picked on and treated like outcasts. Haven't we learned? This stuff can have a lasting effect on the victims and affect their academic performance and emotional well-being. Schools would not accept the open use of racial or ethnic slurs by a child toward another, yet it's ok to belittle a child about their weight or other characteristics, real or concocted. And it needs to go beyond the teachers...they have enough to do and can't be expected to babysit all day long. I say 3 strikes and you're out for bullies. Maybe their parents will do something when they are expelled from school.
Just let her know you care about her and talk to her about how school is going. Maybe she will open up to you and tell you how she's being bullied.
Her parents may appear to be passive about it because they know something about the situation that you don't. You may want to talk to them about it.
Honestly, I would go directly to the principal. Bullying is NOT acceptable behaviour and it seems that schools are taking this stance. If the bullys are not stopped now, they will only continue to bully and could become violent as they become older. I would also talk to their parents. (Although, the parents are probably idiots or may not be aware of this behavior?)
Well, the only thing she can do is ignore it. It is hard, but after awhile, they will get tired of teasing her because she isnt getting the teasing that the bully wants. The Bully cant get everything. This is what he or she is gonna have to let go of.
Hope this helps.
Bye Y'all.
- Heather
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