Discipline 11 year Old?
Answer:
Do NOT put him on medication for pete's sake! If you say you live in the middle of nowhere, he just must be plain bored. A reward system with special privleges will work best. If he gets an A, perhaps you can take him and his friends somewhere during some weekend or give him a Saturday night with his friends with an extended curfew. Also, maybe allow him to work a part-time job. He will keep occupied and learn responsibility, but enjoy himself (given the job is something he enjoys) and earn some money. An extracurricular is always good too.
Get him checked for ADHD
Sounds to me..you need to go for the old fashion kind of discipline>>>a good wippen!! Sometimes kids need them.. and not to be mean..just so they truly understand what to do..its gonna HAVE to be a punishment they don't like so they don't do it again.
When I get in trouble, I have to drink a small glass of hot sauce. You wanna talk about burn. Thats the definition of burn.
think about the most important things to him and let him earn them back if there is nothing chemicly wrong it wouldn't do any good to put him on I would just choose a disapline and always be consistant with it so when he does somthing wrong ;he will know what to expect and I hope it works out for you I know it sounds like I am saying what you are already doing but it usually works sorry not more usefull
He sounds bored to me & being " naughty " gives him something to do. Keep him in his room when grounding him. He can have his meals there, too. Meanwhile, find out if he's having any probs. at school w/other kids or whatever. If so, help in whatever way you can. If not, start looking for things for him to do to keep his interest and not allow him too much " dead time" where he is bored. Just suggestions-good luck!
Have him do chores. Rake some leaves, do the dishes, clean his room, fold laundry etc...After each chore he has accomplished ask him why he does the things he does. It is amazing after they calm down or you calm down what you can get them to talk about. I do not think meds is the right way to go. Just because children act out doesn't mean to medicate them. I know when my older nephew acts out, his Mom takes him to Mc'Ds or somewhere they can sit and talk while having an ice cream. It has helped tremendously because he got the one on one attention and someone listened instead of getting mad.
You say you live in the middle of nowhere? Perhaps he acts up for attention (sound like a bleeding heart liberal, don't I?). But really, he could need positive attention. Friends may also help. You could arrange play dates for friends to come over and hang out.
I know I'm not that old...just 14..but my brother has/had about the same kind of problem! I don't know how to dicipline him, but I do know one thing!! DON'T put him on medication. It's just a cop-out by the teachers and it really could screw up your boy. Some teachers made my brother go on meds...they didn't fix the right dose, and he doesn't think as fast as he used to (he stopped taking the meds a long time ago though!) Boys can be imature, just over time (obviously) they mature and grow out of these things! Good luck...Merry Christmas!
Rewards work much better than "taking away". When kids are being looked at like they're "bad" - like the school is doing, he will just start acting bad because that's what everybody expects.
If you set up a reward system, he can earn things that he really wants. If he doesn't do well one day, he doesn't get a point. Eventually, he'll catch on.
If you need help setting it up, email me at sanemommy@yahoo.com
One of the biggest things that happens (and I don't know if this is you or not) is parents give in after a while to their child's demands, or don't always follow through with their threats ("don't do that or you'll get in trouble" but they never do). That's a major reason children act bad. It's not just parents, it could be teachers if he's like that in school, but that's normally a longer term thing.
Grounding doesn't work for all children. It's not always enough of a negative to keep the behavior from returning. Some children, especially as they get older, even find ways around the restrictions and so it's like they're not even grounded at all.
Sometimes the best discipline is a simple spanking. It sounds harsh (and some people will scream "child abuse!") but it does work. Don't be excessive and don't do it in anger, that's the most important thing. Make sure he knows you're not angry and are beating him because you're mad, but rather it is because he did something wrong and that is not acceptable. I was spanked when I was 12, and I stopped doing what I was doing not just because it hurt, but mainly because I was "too old" to be spanked and it was embarrasing. It worked!
what you really need to do is DISCIPLINE!! I don't mean by just grounding him or not letting him watch TV, get him to do those chores you wouldn't even do, rake the leaves, paint the fence, clean out the storage room etc... Make sure tho that this boy has extra stuff to do though. Boys need to be active, some like sports and some like computer games. The way to get around this is to ask your son what he would like to do as a extra curricular sport, even if it's hanging out with his friends. You gotta get that boy away from the television. Did you know that most children watch at least 30 hours a week of television thats like a full time job?? think about how much more your child can really do, I know he's only 11, but you have to smarten him out now, and make sure that he understands to listen to you and behave like a normal child should. And meds is no way to solve this problem. It's time for you and the other parent to step in and show him a little tough love. Have you ever watched waterboy with adam sandler when the dad found out his football son was talking horrible things about women?? yeah, do something like that. Good luck.
Heh Do Like my moma did. now befor i say it people say it's wrong. but it work for me. SPANKING
Wow... This is what moms are talking about on the internet...
Umm... dont look at the 10yr old posting. *Walks away whistling*
yea im 15 and my mom and my mom beat my *** growing up and will still do it today. all he needs is a good whipping.he doesnt need to go to a doctor for add or adhd. people just do that because they cant control their kids and they are scared to beat them.
OMG--he is just acting up and needs discipline. Don't do the medication thing or counseling until you have tried the thing that works most often.
Set some clear rules and expectations. And then have a consequence--and impose that consequence CONSISTENTLY. And like so many said here the best thing that could be is spanking.
And at 11 years old he is not too old for one, but he is too old for just the thud of your hand on his rear. Get a paddle or something like that--and I would whack his bare fanny.
I think you will be surprised and pleased.
If that does not work (and if you do it right it will start working pretty quickly)--then look at some of these other alternatives. I don't think you are going to have to drug your son.
Good luck.
I think that if you have a computer don't let him get on it make him drink a cup of sauce or something
Spank him sweetie. Taking away things like video games only makes him feel resentful. Just spank him good and hard.
well what i did with my 12 year old was...i took everything out of her room and only left her with her bed.i do mean everything and she told someone at school and they called protective services and they told them as long as she had a bed and blankets they couldnt do anything.I even took her clothes and i got to pick out her outfits for school.she had nothing to do all day but chores
I will tell you what worked for my son and myself. It wasn't easy but it was healthy and extremely effective.
"Ritalin is Not the Answer" by David Stein PhD. I don't hit and I don't drug, so I thought I was up a creek. I was so lucky to have found this book. The consequence portion actually trains children to develop self-control and the reinforcement section helps the family develop healthy habits.
I know I won't get best answer because this isn't as long and involved as some postings, but I urge you to just give the book a go, it may even be in the library or something, because I am afraid you will lose hope and drug your child like the school wants or hit your child like some of these posters suggest.
Say hello to puberty first. Then rethink your deffintion of "priveliges". Are these things he has had access to from the very beginning? If so they are not priveliges. I have never seen grounding work on ANY child regardless of where they lived. All it managed to do was make the parent as miserable as the child because they had to deal with a miserable whiny child who had been grounded. You are also looking at parenting all wrong. Rather than seek a punishment for when he doesn't behave you should have been disciplining him. That's where the privelges come in. When he behaves he gets a certain amount of time with a chosen privelige...and that is IT. In raising my daughter it was no more than an hour during the week of televion/games/videos. There were no such things in her bedroom. She didn't even have a computer in her bedroom until she was almost 18 years old and paid for her own. Up until then we SHARED a compter and again she was limited to an hour per day on it...I would allow more if it was for a school project. When she didn't behave she got no priveliges, whining didn't work because I had headphones and knew how to use them. I would have to say that consequently, we had very little trouble with my daughter, she did have a bout of not participating in her school work in highschool which resulted in her flunking out her senior year but she bounded back by getting her diploma in less than three months as well as maintaining a 4.0 grade average in college now. But her school work was her responsiblity from the time she reached the 4th grade. I never had th need to bribe her or to "ground" her, never had to hit her to "make" her behave. We had rules and when they were followed she was rewarded. When they weren't followed she recieved no rewards...
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.