Help! My lovely son seems to be the 'perfect victim' on offer out there ... He complains of bullying.
He sees his years in school as a continuum of bullying, constant unhappiness and that breaks my heart as I know it isn't the case!
He was abused quite seriously by a classmate & gang when he was five. That was nicely brushed under the carpet and not seriously delt with, so I moved him to my school, where I ended up teaching him myself for two years (a nightmare, but better than feeling that he wasn't looked after properly elsewhere). He did have problems with other kids in that school too, although most of those knew me and respected me enough to 'go easy'... But obviously, there had to be something about my son for this to happen again?
I changed jobs to go part-time so as to make more time for him and so he went to the local school for his last year in primary. Again, there were problems with name-calling and hassle, which were kept under control by very efficient staff there.
Now it's started again in college!
Answer:
That breaks my heart! Have you considered going to the principal or equivalent and mentioning that it's a very serious problem? You might speak with the counselor at the school as well.
In the meantime, try as hard as you can to bolster his self esteem and teach him to try and ignore what the other kids say and that they just tease him because they are jealous of him or because they are unhappy themselves. It might help.
I am not sure how old he is but if you have friends who have kids the same age maybe they could play together, so he at least has some buddies outside of school he can hang out with. I don't think you are babying him, he's only 11 and that's a tough time. Yo uare just trying to be a good mom; good for you!
Good luck!
COLLEGE? You haven't corrected this before now? Well, he is an adult now -- he needs to learn to handle it without mommy fixing everything.
teach him how to fight his own battles. He need self reliance.
Tell him, "Welcome to the World." and "Mommy can't fix things for you anymore."
It's time he learned to be a man.
Did you NOT provide any male role-models for him growing up?
Did you irresponsibly have a child without first preparing a proper home for his upbringing?
If so, you can partly blame yourself for his problems.
You're a lost cause, but PLEASE -- any teenage girls out there thinking about having a child before you have a stable marriage & home --- let this be a lesson to you.
College?? Good Grief, why haven't you gotten the authorities involved in this prior to this? My son was bullied in the 7th grade and I can guarantee you, I was waiting for the principal and the police with him as soon as I found out. The damage is done to your child by now and I would encourage him since he is an adult, the contact the local authorities and get this addressed IMMEDIATELY! GOOD LUCK!
Let him grow up. I think your the problem you have always babied him. He relys on you for everything and can't take care of himself. I mean I hate to blame you cause I know you care so much so its hard to let them grow up but its something you should have let him do way before college.
It sounds like you should have taught him to grow a back bone a long time ago! He's an adult now, he needs to learn how to fight his own battles.
Sorry for the misunderstanding...
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