I'm a Girl Scout leader that never gets a Thank You from parents. Getting burned out. Help!?
Answer:
Thank you for being such a kind, caring Leader to the girls who are in your Scout troop!
One of the things I have learnt in my life is this - SOMETHING THAT HAS NO COST TO A PERSON, HAS NO VALUE TO THEM.
Start recruiting other Mothers to help you on field trips, movies etc., because right now they take what you do for granted and probably have no idea how hard you work for them and their daughters.
If you would like your daughter to play over at the house of one of your Girl Scouts, then ask her mother if it would be okay for them to have a play date. It is okay for you to ask, you know!
Remember that YOU teach people how to treat you!
NOTE: If there are any parents of Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Guides, Brownies etc, out there - please take the opportunity this week to thank those Leaders who work so hard and also make sure that your sons & daughters also take the time to thank them every week.
Sad to say, common courtesy and appreciation has become more and more of a rarity in our day and age. Maybe you could have one of those lesson plans be on the importance of saying, "please", "thank you" as well as showing such appreciation as well.
I used to work in day care, so I know what you're talking about! So, as someone who has been there, and is studying to be a teacher, let me say THANK YOU FOR GIVING OF YOUR TIME AND EFFORT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF GIRLS WHO WILL BE AMERICA'S FUTURE! GOD BLESS YOU!!
Juliet Gordon-Lowe would be proud of you!
it is suppost to be something you do for yourself. Not to get praise. I suggest if you have lost your nitch then you quite doing it before you hate everything to do with kids. it should not be about what you get, or who helps you, but how you help those kids learn things that noone else knows how to teach them. Mabey suggest to your parents to get more involved with everything and have them take all the kids once a month? This will give you a litle time off. dunno good luck
OMG that sounds horrible! if they are acting that way dont buy anymore gift for those losers like they say, what goes around comes around. But, that is really nice of you to do all that stuff. i think that is really sad that you got a gift of a bar of soap from the whole troop! that is pitiful.
That is a really hard one. People can be SOOOO ungrateful and preoccupied with their own little narrow worlds that they do not see the really good things around them. Just a symptom of being thankless I guess. Maybe you should just resolve to take pride in doing your part in trying to insure that children grow up better because of you. they will create a better future because of your work.
This makes me wonder why you are doing these things at all. You should never expect anything from any one but yourself. If doing these things makes you happy, why do you need to hear appreciation from others, however it would be nice. This is a part of life. I am a police officer and help people every day. I never get a pat on the back, no one ever says "hey good job" You have to except this an just be happy with yourself.
world is just testing your limits...surely you are doing a great job and it is really commendable..but there is one thing ,when you do something for the good of our community...prepare to be unappriciated,even abused..and i think you should be a little more social instead of going on doing your routine job..and there is another thing.have you ever heard of Mahatma Gandhi? the indian freedom fighter who was against violence?
if you follow his teachings...i will say go on doing what you are doing,and if you can do even more.one day the shame of the parents will surely arise.and they will thank you..
meanwhile...go on doing your job.remember that at least some people(your family,friends and me) appriciate you..
Maybe they saw the real u and wanted u to wash the reasons u r giving for being a true leader. U r complaining and acting worse than a child when u do things seeking gratification. The scouting movement is about caring for others without pay. It is something done from the heart. God blesses u with the ability to do what u r doing for each and every one of those girls and in the future when those girls grow up they'll want to be like the person who stood out in their life as righteous, self giving, outgoing, friendly, kind, warm, generous, and dutiful. U will certainly be remembered for ur kind acts and deeds by the children u serve with love and attention. Don't teach ur child at home that it is any different from what u r teaching her around the other girls. Don't let ungratefulness from others burn u out. God is keeping score u can bet on that. That is why U r one of the chosen few. Hope i helped bring ur giving spirits back up. Scouting is a never ending tireless job and responsibility we take on to serve God first them out scouts and then their parents. Believe me someone will get hip to u needing help and before u know it someone will help or have u tried asking for the needed help and really stressing it?
I KNOW HOW THAT PROBAB;Y FEELS BUT DONT GET TO CAUGHT UP ON THEM. JUST REMEMBER WHEN THEY TRY TO TAKE AWAY YOUR WORK AND CREDIT FOR THEIR USE SUCH AS TO SHOW YOU OFF. IN A WAY SHOW THAT THEY DONT DESERVE YOU
If you received a bar of soap from the Dollar Store last year from the ENTIRE troop, then it sounds like you've either got some dirt-poor troop members or some really inconsiderate ones (their parents).
If it bothers you so much, you should consider resigning- not indefinitely, just for a year. Give yourself some time off. You've obviously earned it, and you obviously need a break if you're burned out. It's sad that something as sweet as being a GS leader is a thankless job (do you even get paid?). You're not being appreciated, and quite frankly, you don't need the hassle. You can still show affection for your current troop members after you've resigned, and perhaps these parents will realize just how much time and dedication you put in for their girls once you're gone and someone else steps in. Buying presents for these girls to show that you care is a)Not going to be effective- you already do plenty and it isn't appreciated, and b)Not setting a good example. You can't buy love and respect, so why bother? If you want to buy them presents simply because you enjoy making them happy, that's one thing. But if you're buying them presents to convince everyone that you're worth a Thank You, that's something different. Best wishes for whatever you decide. :)
I was a Girl Scout leader for several years. I had Juniors and after five years, decided to go with my girls to Cadettes. Here's my deal, I'm a nanny with twenty years of experience and I don't have any kids of my own. I chose to be a GS leader because it looked like fun and seemed to be a way to give back to my community. It sounds like you are volunteering to do way too much for these girls and their parents! You are most definately being taken advantage of! Troop funds should pay for any parties the girls decide to have, it should not be coming out of your pocket!. My advice to you is to let these parents take some responcibility and help out with badges and activities. I had my parents each take a badge and work with the girls, with my help, once during the year. The girls loved showing off as their moms helper. That way, you get a break and the girls get to see their parents as a roll model. You are not a babysitter but it looks like you have put yourself into that position. Stop planning so much! Regular meetings and an occasional saturday or weekend overnight thing is normal scouting. Let you girls plan some meetings! Even as Brownies, they can, with lots of supervision, plan and carry out what they want to work on during meetings. As far as gifts for your whole troop goes, how about a craft that they can do during a meeting and take home, like an ornament? One year, my co-leader and I saved the cardboard tubes from toilet paper and turned them into "poppers". We filled them with candies and wrapped them, tting the ended so they looked like a big candy and gave one each to the girls as they left from our final meeting before Christmas. I wish you luck in turning your troop around!
It is great that you do so much for these girls and the parents also. They are taking advantage of something they don't even know they have. I agree with the first person who answered your question (sorry don't remember their name). Give a lesson on "please" and "thank you" using things you do as examples. Maybe plan this lesson with the parents being present this day also. Teach them some common courtesy they are in need of learning also.
You could also stop taking on so much that isn't required of you. Maybe these parents would then appreciate you and all you do that is not required but done from your heart. Make the parents start pitching in some money or supplies for parties instead of buying them all yourself. Don't have all day play days on the days the girls have no school. Make the parents realize they do appreciate you. When they call you to babysit last minute, tell them you are sorry but you have other obligations to attend. They then should realize how important you are and how much they appreciated all you did for them. They will then remember to say thank you when you do so much! If they don't, don't let it bother you, they are just rude people to begin with. Be happy you aren't like them and you are teaching their girls and your own to not be that way.
Good luck! And as a mother, school volunteer, sunday school teacher, and volunteer sports coach I would like to tell you...
THANK YOU for all you do for these girls. I appreciate all you do for these parents and children. People like you are so important in the lives of our children today. Again Thank you!
Try to get some of the parents involved. Then, they will begin to understand what it is like to have to plan stuff like you do. Then, you might get a thank you. But, even if you don't, don't freak out. spend a day at the spa or do something else very relaxing (as long as it's healthy).
So, give up on the parents and concentrate on the kids. Make a point of working on the Show Respect for Yourself and Others portion of the GS Law. It sounds as if your kids would be in better shape if they learn it from you rather than wait for their parents to get around to it.
Also, there is a ton of stuff you can do without spending money on troop activities. Check out the web (that's where I get most of my ideas). When there is something that you'd like to do that will cost $, tell the parents a month or so in advance and make sure they understand that if they can't pay you before the event, their kid won't be able to go.
Or, work out a yearly budget and tell the parents how much it will cost them. (I'd recommend that you get a check at the beginning of the year - January would be a great time to start) rather than weekly dues. The weekly dues tend to get to be a pain.
If your families are really too poor to afford the activities, I'm sure that your Council has money they can use for financial aid. Check with Council.
Ok - so that's the money part. The rest of it seems to be that you're being taken advantage of. You know that they can't do that without your permission. I am a leader, and I wouldn't even think of babysitting for free for someone (regardless of whether or not they are in my troop) if it seemed like it was a one-way street. Just say "no."
Kids usually get so many gifts that another small think from a leader really doesn't make much difference at birthdays and holidays. I'd stop it all if I were you. If you'd like to do something, make a bit of a fuss over the kid at your meeting. Maybe allow *her* folks to bring a special snack, and make her your special helper for the day (working on the Helping Others part of the law...)
Hang in there and see if you can make it to any of the leader meetings in your area. They can be a great place to vent and to get other ideas.
And, by the way... Thank You!
Its more BLESSED TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE!! Charge a fee like they do in school for feild trips. And than tell them thank you. And for your daughter shes got YOU.
No don't go out of your way! I'm not sure how you feel, I can only imagine, but I would not go out of my way if I were you. And you know if your doing to much cut back! If they can't say thankyou then I wouldn't even bother! Sounds like you are a good community leader and i wish there was more people like you around!
As far as your own money, i wouldn't do that, just increase the girls dues for the month! We pay $3.00 a month in dues! Just no more than $5.00! Good Luck and Thankyou for all you do for these girls!
I feel for you! You are definatley not being appreciated! I wish we had a leader like you! Maybe you need to lighten up a little on all that you do. But remember why you are doing this!! (Yes, I know a little appreciation would be nice) Ultimately you are doing this for you and your daughter. The memories will be forever for you two and the other girls in your troop. They will have memories of their awesome GS leader! No, I wouldn't buy gifts. Instead, have each girl bring an inexpensive gift for a gift exchange.
Keep smiling!
They are walking all over you because you let them, and almost invite it. Want a "Thank you"? Tell them you are quitting at the end of the year. I did and I've sure been much less stressed and happy. I switched to American Heritage Girls and do that with my girls instead. We only hear from 1 of the 16 other families that were in our troop for 3 years. Sad huh? I miss the girls, but don't miss the rest of the junk that went with it.
Been there, done that!
It hurts, i know. The same thing, I babysat, spent lots of my own money, a lot of my time, talent and passion. No one invited my daughter over. I don't know why. But now that my troop is seniors and working on their Gold, I am starting to think about 'recycling' back to Brownies or even Daisy's. One thing I know for sure, I WILL NOT DO EVERYTHING this time. When you are a 'take charge' kind of gal, and I think that you are, people will sit back and let you. It took 'my' girls years! to realize that I was NOT paid to be a leader and I'm not sure that their parents ever got that too. I love it too and will continue although I don't think I am appreciated as much as I should be. (I don't get Christmas gifts either). But we're not doing this for the Christmas gifts, are we?
My advice is to have a parent meeting and at this meeting, tell the parents that things are going to change. You want their help, have jobs ready for them to take and if they don't do them, don't do them for them. It's time to have the parents step up and realize just how much you are doing.
If you want to be in total control then you will be taken for granted.
Good luck, and remember why you are a leader. It's not for the presents. These girls are going to be such good people a large amount to you. Later in life, these girls will be leaders in their community and they will be using skills that you taught them. When they are older, and they have children of their own, they will relaize what hard work you did for them.
That's why you are a leader. You are special.
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