My 11y son shows no remorse for his actions Constantly in trouble at school, He is on ADD meds, any thoughts?
Answer:
Your son might be right to think it is cool to be "in school suspension". It all depends on who he is socializing with. Start by taking away his privileges...Take them all away and let him earn them back. There are so many productive things your son can do with out TV, Video Games, a computer, and his current group of friends that must give him some type of acknowledgment for his behavior. Inform your son that all of his privileges have been taken away until his attitude and productivity changes. Good luck
Start smacking him.
As a last resort get bigger kids to give him a good hiding.
Take him down a peg or TWELVE send him to counseling and give him a nice long talk with a police officer.my dad would have given me a black eye like id ov deserved if id of done that.. good luck in this scared of your own shadow world.
WARNING! Your son is reaching CRITICAL MASS! I am shocked to see that no one has even hinted about the fact that your son brought a knife to school. His continual remote gaze and hard-nose attitude, coupled with the fact that he brought a weapon to school to "scare" someone calls for serious intervention.
I am surprised that the school only gave him in-school suspension for his behavior. They should have had zero tolerance and should have subjected him to either expulsion or a sufficient amount of home suspension until you and the school worked out arrangements to find him the appropriate help he needs. The school should not allow him to return until he gets sufficient help from outside sources. It sounds as if the school is just going through the motions with him and he is riding right along with them.
Don't let his behavior ride any longer. Put your foot down, and square into a youth/violence prevention program, the doctors office to have him re-evaluated for ADD and other possible social/psychological problems, and possibly in another school environment that will nurture his needs. Is homeschooling an option for you?
Your son does not sound "bad" to me... I believe you have probably tried everything in the book at home and now you find yourself here... seeking help and support. Well I am here for you! Your son sounds as if he is having problems socially and even more severe problems coping in his current environment. Has he come to terms with himself, his capabilities, his weaknesses, his strengths, his goals, his desires? Help him to help himself by understanding himself.
My son is in a school with small class sizes and a highly structured environment. It is a regular Charter school, but he thrives there due to the environment. Bullies still gravitate to him, but he has the support of other peers and his teachers to help keep them at bay. It sounds to me like your son has been bullied for a long period of time and he has taken on the notion of "If you can't beat them... join them". Maybe he feels that this is the only way to get a reaction from those he may feel are against him (including his teachers)
Do not wait to get your son additional help any longer! He is at a critical point and a critical age! Don't let things continue to manifest without doing something now!
CHANGE HIS MEDS OR UP THE DOSAGE... TELL HIS DOC. THAT HE HAS NO IMPULSE CONTROL.
Does he have more than one positive adult role model? I would be more careful about who he associates with after school, what programs he watches on TV (use the v-chip), limit his video games to non-violent and be careful about the adult males he associates with. It's amazing how much an adult male can influence a boy either negatively or positively.
A responsible "father figure" or mentor who your son respects could take your son under his wing, take him out of the house and play catch with him, skateboard, go fishing, etc.
Is your son cooped up in the house a lot without much physical activity?
Maybe you could also take him out to the park or bike riding and spend some quality time away from home and any distractions; expose him and yourself to new activities that you would not normally do and try to do them together as much as possible. He may need an avenue to spend some of his energy and doesn't know how else to express himself. Discourage any violent or "unfunny" acts that he thinks are funny.
Kids don't always know what's best for them so it's up to the parent(s) to guide them in the right direction by providing different activity options and persist despite any objections from the kids.
Most importantly, get a second or third opinion on the meds, sometimes they do more harm than good.
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