Anyone know a good book to explain death to 5 year old?
Answer:
Trix, rather than sit him down with a book, which a 5 year old might have trouble reading or understanding, why don't you sit him down and have a heart to heart with him?
I know it might be a hard subject to talk about but to be honest, brushing the subject off with a book is not a good idea. If you cannot do it then maybe a close relative who he feels comfortable with might. If he reads a book there are going to be things he doesn't understand.
He will also probably be upset when he comprehends it so immediate reassurance before things fester in his mind like nanny is going to die soon or suchlike will help him.
Good luck but please don't leave it to a book..
Graham
there was one out quite recently - it was one of the mog books...mog dies at the start of the book...its quite a 'nice' story...
http://www.amazon.com/never-too-young-kn...
Look in the library
I found a great site that answers your question:
http://topics-az.parenthood.com/articles...
Here's a portion from that site:
Ages 4 to 8
A Pillow for My Mom, by Charissa Sgouros Houghton Mifflin/Walter Lorraine Books, 1998. A young girl sews a special pillow for her bedridden, terminally ill mother. The mother’s death is never stated specifically but is implied when the girl talks of how she treasures the pillow as a loving memory.
After the Funeral, by Jane Loretta Winsch, Paulist Press, 1995. An introspective look at the healing process and how children and their families move forward toward acceptance and understanding.
Annie and the Old One, Miska Miles, Scott Foresman, 1985. Annie, a young Native American, naively tries to prevent her beloved grandmother from dying. “The Old One,” however, appeases Annie’s fear by explaining the life cycle and the belief that all living things must someday return to the earth.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: 20th Anniversary Edition, Leo Buscaglia, Henry Holt and Company Inc., 2002. A classic tale of Freddie and his companion leaves experiencing the changing of seasons and learning that death is a part of life.
Grandma’s Scrapbook, by Josephine Nobisso, Gingerbread House, 2000. Discusses the importance of preserving memories and the healing powers of keeping a scrapbook.
Help Me Say Good-bye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies, by Janis Silverman, Fairview Press, 1999. An art therapy book with sensitive exercises for children who have recently lost a loved one.
Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs, by Tommie dePaola, Puffin, 2000, (Ages 4 to 8). A touching account of how a young boy copes with the loss of his beloved grandmother by describing his memories of her to others.
Sad Isn’t Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss, by Michaelene Mundy, Abbey Press, 1998. A life-affirming guide that tells children what they need to know after a loss: They are safe; life is good; and the hurt will heal over time.
Sadako, by Eleanor Coerr, Putnam Publishing Group Juvenile, 1993. The stirring, life-affirming story of a young girl’s fight with leukemia.
Waiting for the Whales, by Sheryl McFarlane, Philomel Books, 1993. The story of a gentle old man whose life and habits resemble the changing seasons around him. His favorite ritual, one that he will pass on to his daughter and infant grandchild, involves watching the whales swim by his seaside home during the summer months.
Waiting to Sing, Howard Kaplan, DK Publishing, 2000. A musical family goes silent after the mother dies, until one day when the surviving father and son share a moment of mourning not through words, but through music.
When Dinosaurs Die, by Laurie Krasny, Little Brown and Company, 1998. Featuring characters from the popular book “Dinosaur Divorce,” this installment gives an honest, age-appropriate explanation of death and the ensuing healing process.
When Your Pet Dies, by Diane Pomerance, Polaire Publications, 2001. A touching look at the unmistakably strong bond between pets and their owners. FYI: The books lush, colorful illustrations were done by a 13-year-old girl.
watership down? it at least introduces the idea...
I dont know a good book but when i was about that age i asked my mom where my grandma was (she died a few months before i was born) she just told me that grandma loved us but she went to heaven so that she can keep a closer eye on us and help us through life a little better. I then asked if she would be coming back and my mom said no she wont but she loves you just the same and shes with god ( if your not religous you could say that shes in paraidse and the will see the person soon enough).
This book looks like it's handy.
http://www.amazon.com/lifetimes-beautifu...
This link seems useful too.
http://www.hospicenet.org/html/talking.h...
Give your local hospice a call. They support children who have lost parents/family/friends and have literature you can borrow or can recommend to help explain this to your child. There are some really excellent resources that can explain it at a 5 year old level, without being too distressing or 'fudgey' and are not religeous. Check out ww.hospiceinformation.org.uk for a directory of what is in your area.
My cousin went through the same thing at this age and became obsessed with war and people dying, even though neither were happening to him. It just seems to be a phase. His parents were open and honest with him, answered his questions and made the information in a way a 5 year old would understand. He is now 21 and has still yet to experience bereavement.
You can always produce something yourself that would guage the level he is at and represent the beliefs and values you hold.
When my mom died my son was 5. I got him "When Dinosaurs Die" which I thought was especially good at explaining something pretty abstract (to a 5-year-old) in terms he could relate to. It doesn't soft-pedal the emotionally hard parts, but it does break them down for small kids to understand. There's also a book called "Lifetimes" that's worth checking out. Neither has any religious overtones at all and neither is about any one particular person dying. I hope that will help. Little kids are naturally curious about death and what it means, but I agree, it's hard to find good information that's appropriate to them. These 2 were helpful to me.
The labour manifesto
There is a children's book called Goodbye, Mog by Judith Kerr. Mog is an elderly cat who dies. Unless you dealing with an actual bereavement it may be a good book for your child. It isnt really religious and is obviously focused on the loss of a pet rather than a relative, so it introduces the idea of death and loss, but not the trauma of losing a loved one.
Our son was given it when he was 5, Im not sure if it 'cleared things up for him' but certainly when our family cat died at the end of that year he seemed to understand what was happening.
God, is it any wonder the world is in the state that it's in?? I am almost certain the political correct team will be able to help you with this.
learning from the great teacher. excellent, frank, and bible based.
Just explain death to him as u know it. Books can help but the truth from u would be better. I know that u do not want anything about god but when my brother in law passed away I told my daughter that uncle is gone to fix roofs in heaven because god needed a good roofer and he only takes the best. I know it is sort os religiuous but it helped her with why and how come. Now she was only 3 but even now she can still understand about death, even if she was young when we explained it to her. You will thank your self for explaining what u know about death. be straight forward and do not hide anything
Just explain it in a factual way, but make it age appropriate. Even if you don't have any religious beliefs, if you have some kind of spirituallity, it would make it easier for your child, especially if, later on, someone did pass.
try watching beetlejuice
you can try a range of books called why? they deal with diforce and puberty and thing like they might have one to do with death
wait till a relative dies and then explain with lots of cuddles
Freddy the Fallen Leaf is a great great book.
My son is 5, and we recently lost my grandfather. We also are not religious. I did find a book at the local library...don't remember the name...but my son didn't quite understand the book. I had better luck just talking to him.
Im not sure if he needs a book to explain it to him because if he dont like what you say that book will haunt him for the rest of his life.
I would say expalin it yourself if he asks at his age it wont really affect him as it will hopefully not be in his near future
this is the thing with people. why do we try and pretty up things for our young .we tell them about santa, the tooth fairy and other rubbish and then have the cheek to tell our kids not to lie. there is a god and a heaven. dont think that we live without a pupose. the only thing that is guaranteed to us in life is death maybe you need someone to explain to you about it!
author pat thomas has a range of awareness books for small children. IE" dont call me special" for disibility.
i know there is one for death but not sure if title was " a first look at death"
hope this helps
geez.. you're asking too much!
why not try putting spot or fluffy in the microwave for him?
I havent read through all your answers so dont know if anyone has already suggested 'Badgers Parting Gifts' by (i think) Susan Varley.
There is also a little booklet book called Water Bugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney published 1984 in the UK by Mowbray, The Tower Building, 11 York Road, London, SE1 7NY. This explains why dead people cant come back.l
Do you have any pets? The way most children learned in my day was through having beloved pets who lived a shorter life span, like guinea pigs (cavies) and rabbits, gerbils and mice, or cats and dogs etc. We learned to love and cherish them, and feed and care for them, and when they died, we learned of loss much close to our lives, far better than any book can teach us, and performed small burials in our gardens, and said a little prayer and placed a cross, and talked about them being in heaven.
This is basic learning in the closest way, it touches us for real, and questions follow on about human beings then, or, afford the time for parents to explain that death claims all living creatures, even us, in the most matter of fact, and loving way.
My six children learned about death first hand this way, so did I and my four siblings, because our homes were like mini zoos.
Eventually, between the ages of 18 down to 11, my first five experienced their father's tragic death through alcohol, aged 41... and though it was tragic, they already fully understood the death thing by then.
My sixth child, learned through pets as well, but since he was born fifteen years behind the others and was like an only child at age ten, when his grandma died, I sat him down and talked it through, without books. Interestingly though, he was the first to 'know' she'd died... since he "saw a lady dressed in white" in our hallway, the day before she died... and he saw her once again, crossing our lawn, on the day we returned home from her funeral, as we stepped out the car. He was visibly shaken both times, since no one else lived with his dad and him and me.
As an adult with Asperger, he doesn't have belief in anything, he also says he has no memory of these visitations, but that's normal for AS, he has few memories of our past happy times either, and he shares your attitude about God and heaven.
But a mother never forgets the things her children say, and especially the things that scare, or happen to them.
I am a psychic medium who knows without a shadow of a doubt we do not die, except physically, and am quite ok with my son's attitude, since I come from a family of atheists. But because of his unexpected 'lady in white', I know God taps our shoulders in his time, even the most sceptical and those who cannot empathise or tune, like my son.
For a non believer like yourself, I was interested (I smiled) to see that unlike most non believers, you afforded God a capital letter... something, all us believers make very sure to do;-)
good luck with your son.
Look at it this way, does he still believe in father christmas, I bet he does, so believing in god and heaven will soften the blow if someone close dies before he is old enough to understand.
I don't believe in any of that religious hogwash but to a 5 year old it is the best bet.
When he gets older he will find out that there is no father christmas, so why not the same with god and heaven.
Buy a hamster or a goldfish, they never last too long, probably easier to explain through practical means.
"Remember that goldfish you used to have? Well go see granny, quick!".
Badgers Parting Gift is the one we used when our daughter was 5 & her grandmother died. It's perfect - have the hankies ready!
such a difficult question. I went and had a look on amazon after reading the question though and there was quite a few on there for children and also waterstones came up in the search too. I often thought the same about getting a book after someone we knew died and my 6 year old daughter started asking questions about death, and like you i didnt want any "god took them" or anything like that, because then you have to explain why god wanted to take them, and if gods so great and kind why would he want to hurt us! good luck i hope your child finds sense in all, must be very confusing for children on that subject
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