ADHD or Not?
Her father had ADHD and her half sister,10 ,has ADD. At home my daughter is uncontrolable. She cannot sit still or be quiet for more then 5 minutes at a time, at dinner we ask her to be quiet she says ok and 30 seconds later she is singing to herself again and its like she doesnt even realize she is doing it. She will get in moods atleast 3 or 4 nights a week where she litterally will run all over laughing and yelling and I have to yell at her several times to get her to stop for 1 minute. She gets so engrossed in this mood that she doesnt realize she is bumping into things.
Many other parents who have witnessed her like this have told me her hyperness isnt normal but when I ask her doctor I get told that unless the school speaks up and it interferes there, we cant do anything?? I really dont want to medicate her, I just want to know Im not dilusional.
Frustrated Mom
Answer:
ADHD is a made up condition brought to you by our government and pharmaceutical companies, so we just keep drugging our children.
If she can behave some of the time, particularly at school it is NOT ADHD. It is another behavioural problem. ADHD can not be turned on and off.
Get a referral to a child psychologist or therapist and get to the bottom of this. You may find it is as simple as changing how you parent or it could be some other problem. But it is NOT ADHD.
If she is always listening at school and acting so picture perfect in a controlled setting, then I doubt she is ADHD. ADHD stands for attention deficit disorder with hyperactivitiy. Even if your daughter is hyper, it doesn't mean she has ADD or ADHD.
thats ussually how it starts is at home until they get comfortable with the teachers,but my son didn't show it at school until he was going all day in 1st grade and then the dr. agreed that he was ADD.Just keep being stern with your child and dont give in once or else the next time it makes it harder.
I am the mother of two adhd children. I am not going to tell you that she isn't but if she does jus fine in school then it seems to me that adhd is not the case. My boys could not sit still in school or at home to save their livs. Maybe the problem is that she is testing you pushing the buttons to see how far she can go?
she's 5 years old. she's a bundle of energy. if she can focus in school and learn and develop like she should (you said she's ahead) then what are you worried about? i know it can get to be a handful for you but this is how some kids are. it sounds like it's just her personality.
Kids are just hyper sometimes (or most of the time for some). It sounds like your only concern is how she behaves at home. I would give her some time, and see if she calms down in a year or two. She probably will. I am very against medicating children unless it is absolutely necessary and other options have failed. I am going through this with my 7-year-old son. He is very smart, and definately has an attention problem--but because of the fact that he doesn't have this problem ALL the time and he is learning and interacting well with other children I refuse to even consider medicating him. This is a sore subject with me, I just think all of this is WAY overdone these days. Kids are playful by nature, and we should just let them be kids. I am not saying there aren't exceptions to the rule...but in general I believe there are far more kids on medication that don't need it, than kids on meds who do. You're her mother, and you know her best so do what you feel is right. Good luck, and I know it's extremely frustrating at times!
To me this sounds normal. She may need more time playing outside to tire her out. She sits nicely at school and needs to burn off some energy. When she acts up try the 1-2-3- method. Tell her calmly that she need to calm down, you are going to count to 3 and when you get to 3 she has to calm down or go to her room or another designated area. When you get to 3 and she hasn't calmed down, calmly take her by the hand or pick her up if she is kicking and screaming and take her to the designated area and let her stay there for 5 minutes. Eventually this will work. You should also record whats she eats and the time and dates that she is behaving this way. Excitement, food and lack of exercise can all trigger this type of behavior. Hopefully you can help her control this behavior. Just remember to be calm and have patience. Good luck.
ADD and ADHD can not be turned off and on.
You mentioned half sister...she could be doing this for attention.
My daughter who is 8 now, used to act up when her older sister started school (4 years ago). She thought that was special attention. So to get her share, she would act up. Bad attention was better than no attention.
To get her to stop, we started pointing out all of the good things she did and praise her for them, even if it was putting on her own clothes. Eventually, she stopped acting up and calmed down.
At school, does she always try to answer the teacher when she asks a question? Is she always helping out? If yes, she is craving attention. To help her get the attention she craves, sign her up for dance classes or gymnastics. This will give her the 'spot light' that she needs to shine in.
The doctor can give your son a test to see if he is ADHD. At least ask him to check so you know what you are dealing with there! Counseling can be helpfull as well. You could also be looking at a Bi- Polar disorder. Oh and there really fun to deal with as well! It might be just an attention seeking thing. But then it's better to get her checked by a prophesional so you know for sure.
I have a suggestion for you, I know alot of people do not like having schedules but this worked for me with 3 children with ADD, I have a schedule of what needs to be done before bed time, like clean there bedrooms, picking up toys, helping with the dishes, homework, dusting, just little things that will keep them occupied, that is what you need to do, and then ask them what they want as a reward at the end of the week for being so good and helpfull, this is one suggestion I am sure there are many other ones out there, but keeping them occupied is the key here.
First of all, a child cannot have ADD and ADHD if they don't have it at school and then they somehow magically have it at home. ADHD and ADD is not something you can turn on or off like that. So if the school says no, then most likely it is NO. Here's some ideas:
1. If you suspect it, you can ask the school to screen her and they are obligated to screen for a disability. If they already have and told you that she is fine, then I would believe them. You can discuss with her teacher her behavior at school and at home and maybe the teacher has certain suggestions.
2. If your child hasn't been screened, maybe she should be for peace of mind. (Can be done by permission of school who will bring in professionals, or your family doctor or both). It is EXTREMELY unusual to be diagnosed for anything else such as bipolar or depression, etc. but it DOES happen. My sister used to throw these 10 minute temper tantrums every single day for no reason at all and we used to laugh about it. Later in life we find out she is bipolar. I'm not saying there is ANYTHING at all wrong with your child, trust me it sounds like typical kid behavior. But getting screened is one way to rule it out and get her the help as soon as possible (the earlier, the better)!.
3. Just b/c dad and sister had it does not mean its hereditary. I have not seen studies where Adhd is hereditary (my brother had it, grew out of it at age 12 and he had the wost case I'd ever seen). No one else in our family has it.
4. If she is having behavior at home I would look at the home environment and parenting. Are you being too strict/lienent? Is your husband on the same parenting band wagon as you? Does your husband control his ADHD and her half sister, b/c if not...she may be mimicking them. Many times I have heard parents complain that their child is out of control, only to find out that the father or someone else in the family is too (just modeled behavior).
5.Yelling is also not going to help stop the behavior but actually worsen it in the long run. It is hard not to yell, trust me. I can't stress enough how much parents can get from doing some parenting book reading, order some parenting magazines, join a support group (like Parents Educating Parents aka Peps, or MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) something like that, or go take a child behavior class, I'm telling you it's worth it! Also: make sure you take care of yourself. Get a babysitter, go out of town with the hubby and refresh once in awhile. Kids can detect stress in parents and they always seem to make it worse!
6. Recognize signs. Is she overtired, she may need a nap. My kids are the sweetest kids alive, then when tired turn into alien monster children. Give your child naps (at 5 they should have one everyday still after school). Be consistent. Does she need a routine/schedule? Does she need to let energy out. Did she get into too much junk food and need more fruits/protein/veggies? She may also need more structure. Have a set schedule. You snack afterschool. You take a nap. When you take your nap, then I'll let you up to play outside and burn off energy. Then it's dinner time. Then you do a chore. Then I will read a story to you, then it's bath time. You may need to make a chart out even.
GOOD LUCK!
I'm sure it's not adhd. I've taken my son (who's now 6) to several psychologists for certain behavior problems. They ALL said that if they can control themselves when you're not around, then it's basically a problem with parenting & discipline and NOT Adhd or add. Family counseling is probably in order.
I think she is just asking for more discipline and structure she has that at school and behaves there. Set up some more rules and enforce them. Good luck.
My son has ADHD and your daughter's behavior sounds almost identical to my son's when he was her age. Take her to your pediatrician. They can help you decide if medication would be an option for your little girl. Good luck!
No it is not ADHD because i have grown up with a kid that has ADHD and they say what normally promosts the behavor is other kids. I just think she might have behavor problems or if you have let her get away with stuff like that so she thinks nothing of it. Try dicipaning her.
If your daughter is doing well in school, try to determine if there is something in your home environment that is disrupting her moods and concentration before you look at ADHD. Even if your daughter does not have ADHD, her behavior will probably mimic those of numerous ADD/ADHD patients, simply because this is a condition that is over diagnosed, one of the reasons being that there is a huge market in ADD/ADHD medication.
You are right to avoid medication at this stage. Before medicating, a reasonable psychiatrist would try to remedy any environmental disturbances and work on behavior modifications. To tell you the truth, environmental and behavioral therapy is what really helps the condition; the medication isn't magic, nor is it a cure.
What is her diet like? If she is eating lots of fruit, veggies, whole grains, and lean protein then yes, have her evaluated. However, if she eating very little to none of those things, and is instead eating junk food, sugar, sodas, over processed food, and such then change her diet first.
i have two boys 15 and 8 (ADHD AND ADD) your daughter does not have either, i would have your house checked for mold and air born things, then watch her diet, write down what she eats and her reactions, everyday every meal for at least six weeks, see if you can find a connection, and step up your disapline and consistincey, good luck to you and hug her and tell her you love her everyday ,
She gets discipline at school, that's why she is good there. You don't have control over her obviously.
I believe ADD is a crock of sh*t. A disease that magically appeared when people stopped smacking the crap out of their kid acting up. My mom had 6 kids, my grandma had 8 kids and 30 grand kids, none with ADD.
It never ceases to amaze me the number of people who can read a short description and diagnose someone elses problem. I disagree with your dr. who I assume is a family doc or pediatrician. I also cannot guess from your description if your daughter has ADHD or some other neurological or behavioral disorder. I would recommend a 2nd opinion from a mental health professional who deals with children's behavior. You are blessed that she is successful in school, but you are also deserving of a peaceful home life, some suggestions are good, (especially limits, positive and negative consequences and structure), but if these don't work, do seek professional help.
yep thats what i did when i was 3-12 ADHD or just bad time at school
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