I want to help my child learn to deal with bullies? I taught him to stick up for himself if?
Answer:
My son is bullied a lot and I JUST WISH HE WOULD GET SUSPENDED for shoving a kid back. I tell him that if he does i'll take him to any store and buy him whatever he wants. Your son did the right thing and as long as you tell him that he won't get disgouraged from being successful in school.
Most school's today have "no tolerance" policy on fighting. Any student involved in fighting are suspended automatically no matter what the circumstances. If your son is 13 or younger, you may not have to worry, usually the macho attitudes calm down after puberty and there is much less fighting in high school than there is in lower grades. But you are right to teach your son to stand up for himself because it instills confidence and helps his self-esteem. And if it doesn't stop, there is other solutions. If it's one particular person he is having problems with that cannot be fixed, just have them agree to meet alone somewhere outside of school. At which point they can throw some punches and get out their frustrations. Afterwards, they may even become friends. I know because I did this once. Just make sure the school doesn't find out. Also, if your son actually beats someone up, he may get the reputation for being a good fighter and it may cause other students to "respect" him more.
I have the same problem, and just like your son, mine is also short for his age. I taught my son to do the same. I hope he doesn't have to though. I told him if and when possible, I want him to tell an adult, but more importantly, to let me know. What I would suggest you to do is go to the principal, let him/her know the situation, (it is THEIR job to keep your son safe! If they fail to do so it is grounds for a law suit) and come up with a solution, with that, also make sure to get the phone number of the other child's parents, and talk to them about it. They might not know what is going on. Don't be afraid to look like the bad guy. This is your son. Be calm at first, but don't be afraid to raise your voice if need be. Also I found it works better if you take your son's father with you. For some reason people listen better to a man.
teach him to scream back at the kids who bother him! not to hit
I think you are right to tell your child to defend himself...I have always told my girls...don't start it, but you have my permission to finish it! The kids at school used to really bother my oldest because she is a bit heavy (also taller). It stopped when a boy teased her one too many times and she finally just SLAPPED him silly (only once, but she said his head snapped back and she left a hand print). I hated the fact that she hit someone, but I was proud that she ended the harassment that she was going through...and yes, I talked to the teacher, the Principal, and the parents BEFORE this. They all talk about how they want to end the bulling, but they can't. They can't be everywhere all the time. And as far as the suspension...at our school both would have been suspend so I can understand why your angry at the school. Hang in there, maybe this fight will be the last?! Hope so!
now i am 11 so i would encourge you son to listen to aly and aj's song sticks and stones which is about bullies so he should learn that so not have the power
You are questioning yourself. or you would not be here.
Did you do the right thing?
No. There is always another way.
He is small, and by your own words he will always be picked on, which by your method he will always need to fight back, and therefore will always be in trouble. Might as well put him in alternative school now and save yourself the trouble.
The best way is to avoid trouble, but if you are in trouble the best way is to get out of trouble.
If you are walking in the woods and you turn a corner and there stands a Grizzly bear sow with her cubs, what do you do? Do you say, "You are bigger than me, but I have the right to defend myself so I will fight you and we shall see who wins?" Or do you run away. The experts actually tell you to fall down, curl up in a little ball and play dead. Some 2000 years ago a person some believe was a prophet, some believe a teacher, some believe to be the son of God, or the Flesh of God suggested that if a bully slap you in the face that you turn to him your other cheek so he can slap that one too. I kinda like curling up in a ball myself, probably hurts less.
One thing's for certain, if your son continues to fight, he will be spending a lot of time home with you, which may discourage him from being successful in school.
Check out this site below. My son learned from it.
I think you have every right to be upset that the other kid didn't get suspended. Maybe you should call the school and let them know how you feel. I taught my son to stick up for himself. If you don't people will continue to pick on you. I have to say I have a very well behaved son, but after being picked on a couple of times he has taught the "bullies" he won't be pushed around!!!And no it has not ruined his success at school, all the teachers love him, as so all of the parents. It does not hurt to stand up for yourself!
You have every right to teach your son how to defend himself. But you must also teach him he needs to walk away. If he ignores bullies, they tend to go away. My father taught my sister and I how to punch when we were about 12. I never had to use it, but I know how. Sure I got threatened, and teased--but I ignored them. My sister on the other hand, punched a boy once in the nose. She was being harassed on the bus for about six months and finally she had enough. Ironically, it was the school bus driver who went to the principal and said this boy had it coming to him for a long time. She got suspended for three days. But, she's never been in a fight since.
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.