+ Secrets +?
My husband and I sat him down yesterday and tried to talk to him about it.
and my son just said "I can't tell you because it is a secret".
I posted a different Question yesterday explaining more of our situation.
Answer:
i have always told my son he should never keep secrets through fear or from me, and so far this has worked... sit with your son, play a quiet game with him while you talk, it is easier for them to talk when they dont feel like they are having a spotlight shone on them... and then just gently approach the subject of bullying and tell him that bullys are naughty and secrets should never kept for a bully, that whatever the bully says and does whould always be told to an adult.
accept that this adult may not be you, have a word with the school and tell his family etc who spend time with him about it as they may well be able to find out the secret from him, the school should help by keeping an extra eye on him to find out what is going on
it is an awful feeling to know your child is so unhappy and you almost feel helpless to help him through it... make sure ALL the doors are open for him to let this secret out.. and most of all... keep up the excellent job you are already doing with him, he has what sounds like a very loving safe secure home life and that is very important in a childs life
good luck xx
There is many reasons why they wouldn't want to go to school, try and find out if something might has happened or been said from any of the students or even the teacher. Hope this works & Good Luck.
My brother had not wanted to go to school because some kids where teasing him and know he hates school not try to stress you out more, i just dont want that happen to your kid.
This almost seems like he is telling you he is afraid to tell you , and saying it is a secret because he is afraid that if the "bully" finds out you ( his parents) know, then I am sure he thinks that he will be extra mean next time. Just let your little boy know that he can tell you everything and nothing more will happen. If need be tell him the only thing you will do is get the bully what he deserves by telling the principal.
get your son to a psychologist. They may be able to get to the root of the matter. Contact your school's principal and insist on a meeting. Go to the meeting wil a written agenda, including what changes you would like to see made so that your son can be safe at school. Be very clear with the school that you will not tolerate this any longer and legal action will be your next step.
But - I also have to put in a plug for private schools!! I can't tell you how wonderful it has been for my son. I wish I had switched him much sooner!!
Well maybe you need to contact the school principal and the school counsler and see how yall need to take care of the situation then maybe have a talk with the bully's parents. You child should not have to fear something like this. Kids can be sooo cruel, and if we don't nip in the bud now it could get worse down the road. Also let your child know that he has done nothing wrong and that he has nothing to fear and that he can tell you anything even if someone told him not to. I hope everything turns out ok.
I would talk to the school principal, the guidance counselor, and the school board. This whole experience is just mind boggling. And, it has to be traumatic for the kids - especially your son since he's got a bully.
And the "its a secret" part is very very scary. It sounds like sexual abuse to me, but I could be over reacting. If it was my son I'd make a real stink about it. I'd even call the school administrator everyone I could...even the PTA.
My mom had problems with the school and my brother. He was in an IEP program and was treated unfairly by bullies and teachers alike. My mom never took it and never let her son go through that. She got on the hotline and called EVERYONE and let them know. Leave voicemails, record the dates and times you called AND if you left a voice mail or a message with a live person (make sure you take their name).
If they don't respond (very highly unlikely!) have a lawyer send a nice little letter. These letters are really cheap maybe $15 at the most and will definately get a response. You definately need to get all the parties involved (minus the kids) to sit down and discuss this. This isn't a small problem your son is scared to go to school and that's not normal.
Does he fake sick, make himself sick, or make excuses not to go to school?
Go straight to the school and talk to the principal.
His secret is probably the bully said not to tell you. He is only 5!
Go get him some help from the school.
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