In-laws don't visit their grandchild much?
Answer:
I have 2 kids 3 yrs and 1 1months and I only see my father once a months and he lives 1/2 hour away. I totaly understand you cause my in-laws never come over to our house (they live about 10min away) they expect us to always go over there. Cause there is no smoking in our house and they hate going outside. I have to invite them for dinner jsut to get them to come over and that rarely happens. This problem is between you fiance and his father, don't put yourself in between it's something your fiance should settle, he needs to tell his father how his feels about not visiting more often.
good luck and congradulations
3 hours is a long trip to make that often. The average appears to be almost once a month and for the distance, that's not bad at all. My kids grandmother lives 3 hours away and it's hard to make frequent visits. She sees the kids maybe 5 times a year.
Have you called and asked them to come? Set up a time. Invite them to dinner. My husband's family is very excited about our son but did the same thing for the first 6 months or so. We had to invite them to get them to come over.
Now that my son is 10mo we call them to watch our son occasionally, make trips there and invite them over. It's gotten a lot better.
Consider yourself lucky I live 1200 miles from my family and they only see us 1-2 times per year my twins are almost a year and my father still has not bothered to see them yet.
They're seeing her once a month, I would pay to have my ILs only come over once a month. Once a month is tonnes.
Also don't compare yourself to other people, or how people treat you compared to how they treat other people you will only make yourself miserable.
You should understand them since they live far and 3 hours drive to go and visit your family. Im sure all granparents love their grandchild and they are trying their best to show them thier happiness and love, but in that case its not easy to do it coz of their age.
Three hours is not that long of a trip. I drive 5 hours to see my parents and its worth it.
She is only 4 months now. They have seen her 3 times in 4 months. That's about once a month. I don't see what you are complaining about. They have come almost once a month and you say they are making no attempts to come to you??
And babies don't change that much in a month.
It sounds like you are jealous that they may spend more time with their other grandchildren, but maybe they live closer?? Maybe they only have to travel an hour to see them??
Edited to add: You wanted to know if you thought you were being selfish. When people kind of said "yes", you added new details so we would think otherwise. Maybe you should tell them some of this stuff about how you can't afford to take time off of work and ask them to plan with you better?? Sounds like you just want us all to confirm that your mother-in-law is a biatch, but you already know that!
I think you are reading too much into this. Relax. Take a deep breath.
They don't "need" to visit, so much as you want them to. Stop making comparisons. Enjoy what you have and leave the rest alone. Nothing good will come of you keeping an internal list of times and duration and quality, etc. You did what you did in the past because you wanted to, didn't you, not because you expected to be repaid. Accept what they are giving, be grateful, and don't ask for more.
She is ONLY 4 months old, and while you love and adore her to pieces, as you should, 4 month old don't do a whole heck of a lot to visit with. The child benefits so little from these visits, strangers holding her, germs passing etc. When your child is older, they will develop a bond all their own, and if they don't that's okay too, so long as they don't outright reject her.
Relax.
Edited to add:
You sound like you are just looking for reasons and excuses to dislike your future father-in-law and his wife. With that attitude, nothing good will ever come of it. Could it be that the wife senses that you are looking for conflict and chooses to stay away from you and the mistrust and envy you are putting out there.
Let go of it. If they don't visit, it is THEIR loss, not yours.
4 month old babies are not SHY! they are infants, and this is where you show your true self. You are looking for trouble.
Be staight forward with you soon to be in laws. Tell them nicely to there faces that you would like them to come and visit more often. If you don't tell them what you want how are they suppost to know.
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