6 year old boy who is my step son!?
Answer:
God, I feel for you! I am in a similar situation. My husband has 3 kids and a crazy ex-wife. She is 7 years older than me and has told me that I am "nothing" to her kids and I am a child. I'm sure she thought we were just a fling too, but this Feb. we will celebrate our 7 year anniversary. I hate to tell you, but she won't stop being crazy, she's a jealous woman and she now has to watch her son bond with another woman. She will nit-pick at EVERYTHING you do, so you would be wise to not make any decision unless you have her permission, or your husbands. My husband's ex has calmed down a bit, I think she finally realized I'm not going anywhere, she's still a b%^$^, but that's just her and I have accepted it and now find her rants as good entertainment. You were smart to press charges, you can't let her get away with that and if she truly is mental, her son shouldn't be in that environment anyways. I hope all of you can eventually find a common ground and be civil to each other. You may have to take this to court. I have an 11 year-old son and luckily I don't have to share him, if I did, I'd like to think I wouldn't be a crazy woman, that's not the kind of person I am. Maybe you can try to talk to her or write her a letter letting her know that you are not trying to be his mother, but you are in his life and she needs to know that you love her son and have his best interest in mind. You & your husband may want to look into a custody hearing. We do 50/50, one week here and then they go to her house for a week. I'm sorry for you, I know exactly what you're going through, just hang in there and ignore her as best you can.
if the mothers that bad go for custody before she turns her son mad as well
you could try speaking to a solicitor about getting temporary custody of the child if she is violent toward you 2 she could be toward the boy.
First off, the two of you are married and so therefore you are a part of the childs life. Rather than continue fighting with her, take her to court for visitation or custody. Let the law handle it. This may mean spending some time away from the child until it is resolved, but really, what good is anyone doing for him by fighting with each other.
Sounds like my ex-wife. Been there.
Well evidently she does not like you but you are not alone. It really dosen't matter who he married she would of act like that with any woman not just you. It is unfortunate that you are taking the brunt of it. Kill her with kindness, while i know it is easier to say than do. Send her a Christmas card. She will just love that. Personally i have been with a man the past 5 years and he has an ex from hell. 5 more years and she will be gone because their kids will be grown. But do the best you can and do not to let you step son think that it is his fault.
The little boy is the most important person here. It's important you don't, under any circumstances respond to her with any verbal or physical assaults. If he sees all the adults in his life behaving badly he'll think it's normal.
That said I would go to a solicitor and explain to him/her what is happening. There must be something you can do to stop her behaving like this in front of the child. It's child abuse. She has to accept that as the child's stepmother you will always be a part of his life. She has to move on. Just behave with dignity all the time, everyone will see that she is the one with the problem, even the child when he grows up and looks back.(hopefully not in anger)
Wow, I feel sorry for this little boy. How immature of her to play games with him. It sounds as if you're doing the right things. Well done. It should be your husband who is sorting this out. It sounds as if he needs to straighten a few things out with her. If she won't listen, there's not much he/you can do. Is there someone else who could talk some sense into her?
As for your relationship with the boy, can you think of him just as a kid, like your brother? Every child is different; just treat him as a child. If his mother is a psycho, you and his dad are doing a good thing in providing him with a 'normal' home.
I hope she can be persuaded to change her mind about letting him stay. She sounds very insecure, and it may take her a long time to come round.
fight for the custody of him, my husband brought his two children up for 10 years on his own before i met him, their mother was a bit of a so an so to say the least, she used them for her own needs, they both call me mum (they are 19yr old girl & 21yr old boy), the boy doesn't have anything to do with his natural, he cant stand her in fact, but the girl wants her approval, w ehave had are ups & downs, the girl is very jealous of me cos she was the only female in the house till i came along, she has now moved out & the boy is at uni, he wont hear of any one calling me his step mum to him i am his mum, I came on the scene 4yrs ago, however the girl has caused all sorts of problems but we wouldn't let her come between us, you fight through the problems. hope this is helpful & good luck
Just make sure you show the little boy how much you love him and make his time with you extra special. He will eventually be of an age where he can make his own judgements! Those will be the important ones when it comes to his choices! She is obviously a very bitter ex .. and although it is hard on the little lad, getting the police and social involved was a good idea. They will see and hear with an experienced ear, and if there is a possibility perhaps you could consider the option of your husband going for full custody on the basis that she is unstable and you are worried about the stories she tells the little boy. Being 6 he understands quite a bit, so next time you do have him for a visit, explain to him as much as you can, without putting the mother down too much!! He will understand a lot more than you think! Goodluck and I sincerely hope you get things sorted!
You are doing the right thing by getting the police and informing social services, hopefully they will sort it out for you. Just make sure you don't bad mouth his mother in front of him. No matter how much of a cow she is, she is still his mother and his little head doesn't need to be poisoned anymore than it already is by her. Don't let her get to you as that is what she wants, stay strong with your husband and be nothing but civil to her. In the end it will be her who looks the idiot unfit mother.
Your husband could try writing letters to his son and keep them till he's older during the times she won't allow access. That way he will know what was going on and that you both love and missed him.
Just stick it out and go through the courts for legal rights, that way she won't have a leg to stand on.
That sounds so terrible for all of you involved there is a lot of hurt going around everyone.
It sounds like the ex wants your hubby back with her and she cant stand knowing that he is happy with you. She will do everything possible to get you two to split up by the sounds of things but getting to poor boy involved is terribly selfish.
I have heard of the social services not helping before. My friends girlfriend broke up with him and started smoking dope and leaving the baby alone in the house for hours at a time. We watched and recorded times and dates etc but they didnt do a thing. only when the baby was a few months old and ate some canabis resin and ended up in a&e did they do anything so i know how awful it is!
becareful if you tape conversations on the phone or in person without the other persons permission as it is illegal.
good luck with it all hope it works out
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