Is it right to spank your child?
Answer:
I personally think spanking is a good way to discipline. Spanking would be when you swat your child with your hand on there butt to get there attention. I spank my daughter when I need to. And I was spanked growing up and I'm better for it. I only go it when I deserved it.
I personally don't think hitting a child in any way is apropriate. I use time outs with my kids, and there very well behaved. I think that spanking your child makes them scared of you, and your child should feel safe with you, and realize that you won't hurt them.
Sometimes an open-handed swat to the fanny will cut through the fog when nothing else will.
I had one I didn't need to spank and one that it was the only thing that got her attention.
Spanking should be reserved for punishment for unsafe acts and acts that are harmful to others or themselves.
When mine got a spanking (never more than two swats on the behind) they knew that they had done something that they should NOT do again.
My youngest would wander or run from me while shopping. She got quite a few spankings in public before she got the idea she was embarrassed by the punishment.
Some kids need it because of their "I dare you" attitude, some are more receptive to you in a parent role. It all depends on the child.
Spanking is not a good way to discipline children. It's for lazy people, who can't be bothered to use more effective methods.
And this is coming from someone who doesn't have kids, but wishes she could smack a lot of the ones that she encounters on a day to day basis.
a spanking Will not harm the child do not use abelt open hand though the child's cloths
I was more than spanked as a child and I have no regrets now. While children may even turn away from their parents for a time I think it is necessary for a certain way of growth. If you want to have any influence in your kids' life you will find a way to do what's right. I do know now why I was spanked as a child and I'm glad for what it has taught me. I think a lot of people who disagree with this do, because of people you spank their kids out of anger. If you never got burned, how would you trust someone's word that something is hot? If everyone trusted everyone else's word, then no one would argue. Children learn from the influence of their parents, whether you wish to accept this or not. It is true with animals, plants get their genes from their "parent" plants, that's why so many people who have divorced parents or abusive parents get divorced and become abusive. It doesn't always happen like that, but all you have to do is look at the world and you can see that bad traits are becoming more and more frequent and casual.
I think there are times to spank. My husband and I agreed that 3 swats is the highest we will ever go. We have 3 kids ages 4, 2 1/2, and 6 months. Needless to say they do not get spanked very often because they are so young. When we have spanked them we sit them down and make sure they understand why they are in trouble. If they do not understand we do not spank them. I do not agree with the person that said spanking is for lazy parents. I think people that let their children get away with everything because they do not want to deal with them are lazy. I think parents that yell at their children are lazy. I think you spank them or give them a time out and when it is done, its done. Do not discuss it anymore, let it be over with.
I believe the best way to discipline you child is time-outs, making them do chores and/or taking things away that they like to do. Spanking tells them that violence is ok.
Since time immemorial naughty children have been spanked in order to correct their behaviour - and it worked! If if ain't broke don't fix it!
I feel spanking is ok, but try not to leave out stern "talking to's" it helps kids learn cause and effects of there actions. I think it works my niece was spanked once in her life for something she did really bad, but she is more inclined to think before she acts now when i began to explain to her the cause and effect of her actions.
Yes!
I took an old belt cut it 18 inches long and it was called "THE BELT" I used it on their bottoms only and never more than 5 swats max. It was a psychological tool as well. I made them go and get "THE BELT" they would cry all the way there and all the way back.
IMPORTANT!! This isn't to be used to hurt them or harm them in any way. Each swat was firm and some may have sting a little. I would start to ask them how many swats they thought they deserved. If it was too few an extra one was added. When they got to the point where they said they think it deserved more than the max. I knew they had learned the importance and VALUE of their actions. This form of discipline lasted for about a year and a half to two years with each of my children. As soon as they had learned the VALUE of their actions they were responsible and we changed to fines againest allowance, loss of privileges, etc.
I don't know if this is the reason but when I was younger before the whole idea came out that spanking a kid on the bottom was concerted abuse. My dad use to spank us on the bottom with his hand or belt when we were bad, he spanked it enough to where it hurt to sit for a couple of mins. Now when my husband playfully spanks my butt its not a turn on nor do i like it .
So I think that hitting a kid on the butt can damage his/her self esteem. And spanking won't work for discipline any ways because they don't understand what they did wrong when there young unless they are taught right from wrong. The only correct way to discipline a child is to set them down and to give them a time out. A min for each year old they are so 5years would be 5 mins. And time out should be in a area that is away from distractions so they can think about what they did. then you would come back to them and ask them if they remember why they are there then ask them to sorry.
I always said I would never spank my children but then my oldest son turned 3. I believe the first time I spanked him was when we were in a parking lot, he let go of my hand and tried to run. I spanked him. I would rather have a child with hurt feelings from a spanking then one who got run over by a car!
First off, never ever use anything on a child is my opinion. I would never use anything other then my hand to spank a child. And when my children recieve a spanking, it is one swat on the bottom. Not the bare bottom either. Spanking, for me anyways, is a last resort, and usually for when they have done something i want to try to really enforce to them is WRONG. Like for example, one of sons whos is 2 1/2 years old ran out into the street one day. Thank god there was no traffic.but i spanked him one swat on the bottom. He has never attempted to try that again. I don't know for sure if it was because he got a spanking but he hasnt done it again. Usually i try NO, time outs, smack the childs hand if they reach to touch something breakable or hot.but usually NO or time outs work pretty well. I think there is a huge difference between spanking and beating a child. Striking a child over and over again.thats a little bit much.
Depends on your parenting methods. People will sit there and swear up and down it's child abuse. It's not unless you leave bruises. And there is a huge difference between spanking and abusing. think about it, you'll figure out the difference.
Belts. It depends. I was spanked only once with the belt. If you beat the living crap out of a child with a belt, then it's abuse. However, I would rather not spank a child with a weapon.
I haven't had to spank my children in a long time but if they need it I certainly would. I use to pay attention to how I spanked my children. I would swat their bottoms 3 times and then stop. No more than that. I used to keep a ping pong paddle on top of the refrigerator but rarely ever had to use it. I would never use a belt as I look at that as beating. Good Luck.
Just remember when you do have children, everyone will try to tell you how to raise them. These are your children and only you and their father have a right to decide how they will be raised.
I had a women in Walmart look down her nose at me and tell me she could not believe I had just spanked my child. at that point he deserved it 100 x's over actually. I stood tall and looked her in the eye and said to her.. "I cannot believe at your age you have yet to learn to mind your own business". I think she thought I would feel guilty except I had done nothing wrong.
dont use anything other then ur hand to spank your child it could hurt them but it will teach them a lesson
Your hand on the buttocks of the child is most state's idea of a spanking which is completely legal. Abuse is using objects to hit child on other areas of the body. Yes children do have times that a spanking is best. Start while they are in diapers. Set limits and hold to them! (When they are in diapers, hit the diaper just right and it makes noise that scares them rather than hurts them. The idea is for correction not to hurt. There are many other forms of punishment as well. I used spanking after other forms failed.
No. There are better ways to discipline a child. Spanking is usually done in anger, and because a parent can't or doesn't want to think of a better way. Spanking teaches that problems can be solved by physical violence. It teaches that it is okay to hit people who are smaller and weaker. It motivates the child by fear, and weakens the will. Spanking makes it much more difficult to maintain the trust in a relationship.
I have never spanked my kids and I never will. They are the best behaved kids I know.
How about asking kids who are spanked what they think, such as the following:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kidsspanki...
There are a number of different theories about spanking. Which of the following do you believe are true? Please check all that you agree with.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kidsspanki...
How do you feel about being spanked? How do you feel about not being spanked?
According to these two (admittedly unscientific) polls which I created to ask some questions of my own, those who are spanked generally do not seem to be worse off for it and very much respect both the punishment as well as the disciplinarian.
Having said that, though, it should be clear that spanking can not be expected to work all of the time, or even for all children to the same degree. Some children will respond better to it than others, and some may not respond well to it at all. Do your research and make your own conclusions, but my research tells me that spanking, unlike how some people would like you to believe, is not inherently wrong or bad for the spanked child, but like anything else, it certainly can be if taken to an extreme.
As for the "proper" way to do it, there seem to be mixed answers to that. Many seem to believe that a spanking is ineffective if it is given on anything other than a bare bottom and given in any other method than over-the-knee, but there is some disagreement with this too. You'll have to find out what works best for you and your child when/if you have one. In any event, I do not reccommend you use spanking as your sole method of punishment. After all, the goal in raising children is to eventually get them to respect everybody, not fear everybody. One can, as I said above, take spankings way too far, so as a parent, you must use a good deal of restraint when/if you choose to spank your kids when/if you choose to have any.
Using belts is not illegal, but going to far is abuse. I wouldn't recommend using belts for spanking, because you don't really know how hard your spanking. We use the pants down, over the lap method. Like the old days, it seems to work the best. These days people consider spanking to be anything from a swat or two on a covered bottom, to major beating leaving the child covered in black and blue marks. In my opinion the first is not good enough, and the second is abuse (which is also the opinion of the US). So if you decide to use spanking, I recommend the way we do them, and as a last resort only. Try the new age methods first, if they don't work, then use spanking. Spanking has been around for generations and works, but like anything, if you use it to much, it loses it's effectiveness.
Good Luck
Spanking is hitting. Hitting is violence and assault against another human being. When you hit your child, you teach him/her that hitting (assaulting) another human being is acceptable. It is not. There are many ways to discipline and teach a child and using physical force is not one of them.
I work in a school district that allows paddling for misbehavior (with parental consent of course). I wouldn't use a belt...that isn't a "proper" way to spank. I use a paddle, and it is quite effective. I have had to paddle about four students in my fifth grade class due to severe misbehavior. Needless to say, I haven't had to worry about their behavior since then. Word has it that I spank harder than the principal...LOL!
Seriously, though, when you are spanking a child, you must spank them on the bottom...there is a fine line between spanking and abusing your child, and you must make certain that you ask them if they understand why they are getting a spanking...do so in a gentle manner, not in a snive manner. I always ask my kids and students, "What can you choose to do next time?" Always make sure that you tell kids that they made the choice to misbehave, so they must accept responsbility for their actions.
Use whatever you feel is right. Your children must learn proper behavior no matter what.
Show me a parent that does not spank, and I'll show you the parent of a future felon.
I have a 10 year old and 7 year old twins - they are 3 of the happiest, most content, respectful children you'd ever meet - and I spanked their butts! Dare to Discipline by James Dobson is an excellent book to read. I used a dowel rod and only spanked for rebellious behaviour - never out of anger or frustration, and never for childish behaviour.
a swat at a young age to teach of danger( electrical sockets etc..)i feel is okay. depending on your parenting skills, you may find spanking is not needed. some definitely need it while others respond better to alternative punishment.
I grew up being spanked as a child and feel I am a pretty well-rounded individual. I have a 2 1/2yr old daughter and my husband and I both will give her a swat if need be, but I think its all dependent upon the child. Our daughter doesn't respond as well to a spanking as she does to being put in time out. If we make her sit on a chair or on her bed for 2 mins you would think she was being beaten to death! I see no problem though with using YOUR HAND only to swat a little one's butt as need be. When they get a little older, you have to rethink though because it doesn't seem to have much effect.
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