Very worried about my son & daughter laying naked together?
Also I don't know what to do about this in the long term. Advice please?
Answer:
Nudity is the body's natural state. And since, as you've told us they were just chatting, then there's nothing you should worry about. It's good that they feel comforable with their bodies and not shameful. As for the long term, it might be a phase they are going through which will pass, or they may become nudists when they grow up. But I don't think them becoming nudists is something you would be ashamed of...
Tell them that they are old enough to dress themselves.
I Cr 13;8a
First off, let me congratulate you on not freaking out... that is a very hard reaction to overcome.
Secondly, this is not abnormal, nor anything to be horribly concerned about. Yes you will need to speak with them (prefereably at the same time) and ask if they know what they were doing, and explain that that is not appropriate for young adults their age, and especially not for family.
It will be difficult, but if you can remain calm through the conversation, everything "should" be ok in the end.
That is too old to be doing this type of thing. Ask them to put some clothes on. Explain that nothing is wrong with the human body and it is a beautiful thing, but it is inappropriate for brother and sister to be lying around naked together. Explain that they could(and they could) be removed from the home and put in foster care if this got out. A quick glimpse when running from teh shower is one thing, but this is way too much. If it continues, I would seek counseling for them.
This is a very shameful and not accepted by any ethical and moral house.... This is totally un-acceptable... please try to stop this peculiar behaivour and tell them not to do it again!!
I think you handled the situation very well. It would be a shock if i found my kids lying together naked at that age. I'd say don't jump to any conclusions as there is probably a million different innocent things that may have beengoing on like a dare or something. If i was in your situation i would not shame the kids but be direct & honest. You could say that you were wondering what game they were playing naked the other day?? & in a casual unconcerned voice explain that it's really not appropriate for boys & girls to be naked around each other at that age as they are almost grown up.
I can understand the feeling in your mind. Its better a third person to discuss with each of them separately and find out what was really happening between them and give necessary advise. I wish it was only a curiousity rather what is in our mind.
well you first should of said " where the F are you clothes? unless nudity is a common thing in your household..
They are too old for this type of behavior! Tell them, demand them to stop!
So will you be so calm, cool and collected when they tell you they've had sex? Get to counselling IMMEDIATELY!
Geez, this is freaky!
I would ask them what the freakin hell went down and that they should respect each others bodies and each others privacy.This is quite serious, maybe they were experimenting.Do they know about sex?If not,I think it's time you have THAT talk.
I dont see anything wrong with it at 12. They are only kids.It's only the human body i'm sure when they both start to develop and feel insecure about there bodies they will grow out of it. If they have been brought up in a close family where they were comfortable being naked around each other they would think its a natural thing to do. Theres nothing sexual about it.
My advise is to just leave things how they are and to not be concerned at this point.
I think you would know when to take appropriate action when things may not be right.
PUT A STOP to it and that should have been done then. BUT get a hold of both of them NOW. THEY DO NOT belong together NAKED, EVER. They are BOTH at the age of asking questions and exploring. Take your daughter to the side and have a good heart to heart mom & daughter talk. Have your husband take your son to the side and he can have a DAD & SON talk together. Notice I have put emphysus on dad and son. This being as boys will be more bold when it comes to this type thing. Good Luck.
At this age our bodies are changing and developing and we are all curious about the opposite sex. If i were you i would sit with them seperatly and explain in a calm and adult manner that it is best not to do this, however it is normal to be curious about other bodies however, if you have brought your children up not to be bothered about each others bodies and they have been naked in front of each other for the last 12 to 13 years im afraid you only have yoyurself to blame as you have taughtr them one thing and now you are telling them another ? Its a tricky one that needs treating delicately. Good luck !
well its too old for them. and in the 6th grader which age 11 to 12 they actually teach them what a opposite sex what is penis and vagina is.. so I think you need to tell them that they are brother n sister they not supposed to see each other naked. if you yelled at them, the more they will be Curious just don't yell. talk and explain them that is wrong. hope it help
I hope you have noted the calm with which one side of this issue has responded and the panic with which the other side has responded. Panic never solved anything.
If you feel this behavior is inappropriate then discipline them accordingly. If you feel this behavior is within the boundaries of childish curiosity, then explain to your children what concerns you have with behavior of that sort and exactly how you feel about the situation.
Explain to them, as matter-of-factly as you can, that you trust them, but that you are concerned that another situation may happen due to this. Obviously, you do not want your children to engage in incest. This is really what this boils down to. Explain this to them. Explain it clearly and plainly. There is no need to raise your voice, or over-anticipate what MIGHT happen.
Teach your children with respect and they will respect what you have to teach them. Also keep in mind that if they didn't panic when you walked in on them, they probably were not engaged in anything that you have to really worry about. Give your children the benefit of the doubt.
how cud u not react , just scream and slap , lying naked bro- sis uggg it is sick
I have a 12 year old daughter and there is no way she would lay around naked with anyone! This is not innocent. How did they react when you walked in? They are old enough to know right from wrong (this is not a 2 and 3 year old). I would talk with them about this behavior. They should not be naked with anyone at all. Also, I would get into family counseling. It is good that you didn't freak out, but ignoring it isn't right either. They should know by your reaction that this is inappropriate and should never happen again. Get help for your children, now! Good Luck!
I wouldn't be worried, I would be gettin in they a@$! they are old enough to know that that is unappropriate since they are the opposite sex, hell even if they wasn't they dont need to be going there with that. YOu need to talk with them and explain to them that that behavior is unacceptable and it makes you uncomforable. and what you talkin about unannounced. Hell if you are the parent you don't have to knock and let your child know you comin in, you pay the bills and you are the disciplinarian, so if they were up to something you had all the right in the world to be in there and to tell them to stop that immediately. But you need to sit them both down and tell them no more of that. I'm not gonna tell you to think the worst but the no clothes off under the covers is not cool. sorry. and you ignoring it isn't gonna make it go away so you need to talk about it if you have a husband or someone else in your family if you need support. Better you than me because if I catch my daughter and my nephew under some damn covers singin Kumbaya naked, I'm goin off point blank... Step up and be the parent. You not doing nothing is gonna make them think that is okay. But you need to be questioning them and asking them was it to experiment for sexual purposes or what but bottom line: THAT SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING!! There was a reason that brought you into that room and God is trying to let you know, why do you think parents always catch their kids doing something, because it was meant for us to see it and to handle it. Don't turn your back from this situation. HANDLE IT!
You don't have to teach them to be shameful just simply say brothers and sisters don't lay naked with each other.Its time you to gave yourself a little privacy when naked.Ok and leave it at that.
At least they are keeping it in the family.
What I suggest you do is make sure the both of them are not alone together at all. If they are that comfortable seeing each ther naked they maybe willing to explore each other. I suggest you keep a close eye on the both of them.
This is not uncommon. My sister and I did something very similar around the same age. We never committed incest, it was just curiosity about body parts. I wouldn't make any big thing about it, just to say to them that it can't happen again.
Now might be a good time to teach them about the birds and the bees. Since they've seen each other naked, get them to undress and point to their body parts (instead of using silly little diagrams) to explain how everything works. The only embarrassing bit should be spreading the girl's legs, but try not to be embarrassed about it, and don't skip it.
You then explain that brother and sister should never do this sort of stuff together, and that you don't want them to spend time naked together any more.
Talk to them about it, just have a conversation don't get upset, just talk.
At 13 if the boy wasn't erect with a naked 12 year old girl I wouldn't be concerned. Let them feel free to disrobe at will. Don't make it out to be something shameful. If the girl is getting to see the boy nude regularly she will not have the usual curiosity about the male body. If you allow them to go nude in your presence you can see if the boy becomes sexually aroused. If that starts to happen he will be embarrassed and realize that being naked in front of women will cause that effect which will cause him to stop. The same with naked women and he will have his sister stop disrobing in front of him.
if they didn't have sex you have nothing to worry about. just don't freak out. just remind them not to have sex.
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