My 11 year old has had poor grades for the last year or so and has been struggling in school...?
Answer:
Have you checked him for hearing or visual issues as well as the learning disabilities? If that's not the case, try sitting in on one of his classes as a "parent volunteer." That takes the embarrassment out of it for your 11-year-old to have his "mommy" in the classroom. Your mission then is to observe the teaching methods and see if you find yourself dozing off in class or if the teacher is skilled at putting life into the leasson.
Assuming all else is well, you may be facing one of the following:
1. He's unmotivated (bored) and average as the tests indicate.
2. He's above average intelligence (gifted kids know very well how to manipulate the IQ tests) and unmotivated. Does his school have a gifted and talented program?
3. He has no male role model. Boys this age NEED a positive male role model. If none is available in the immediate family, you may find a mentor or Big Brother.
4. He's depressed or otherwise troubled about something, either in school or at home.
5. Check his pupils. The country is not immune to drug usage, even at this early age.
Visit with the school counselor again and see if he/she can give you any other recommendations. The only other thing I can think of is an absence of consistency or continuity in the home. You have stated that he is not self-motivated (doesn't do a whole lot unless its with me and his sister) so he's not gounded into a routine.
With regard to motivating your son:
Find out what his interests are and approach learning from that perspective. If he likes sports, work with his teacher to see if he can write a sports column for a class project or school newspaper (Language Arts). If he likes hunting, approach him with some research tasks to find out why the hunting seasons are set on certain dates for certain animals (Math, Science, and even a little Social Studies). Get the idea? Work with his teacher on this, and if the teacher isn't much help, you can try to get help from the counselor and/or principal.
Learning, unless it applies to us individually, is flat out boring. By approaching learning from a personal interest point of view, you have a much better chance at motivating your son to learn, as it has then become a living interest instead of a lousy lesson.
If you can afford it try sylvin...if not just help him study every night
tell him the truth. Sounds harsh but say ''if you dont get good grades your going to grow up and be poor and beg for food'' and it does work. my mom did that and im a straight A student from straight F
First try talking to him see whats on his mind if you cant talk ask him to write down what he likes and doesnt like about school and life in general because sometimes other things get in the way of learning could be class mates teasing him a cute girl rejected him try to allow him to open up to you sometimes it could take a girl to tutor him and not hus sister maybe sisiter friend he is a maturing young man...
MOTHER OF THREE 14 13 11
Hi. I have an 11 year old as well and I feel its a difficult age because they are not little kids anymore, yet they are not teenagers either. I think its a very awkward time. Regarding the specific issue of school, I dont think a strict punishment is the way to go. School performance is not like bad behaivor so you cannot punish it the same way you would back-talking for example. I think you have to approach from the standpoint of trying to encourage your son. Keep telling him how important education is. Talk him about his career goals (which of course will evolve) and tell him that all jobs need some form of education. Dont just dwell on the negative. If he brings home a decent grade really pump him up and give him lots of praise. Also keep in mind not every person excells in school. And it may be that he is adjusting (first year in middle school perhaps?) and he needs to just find his way. Lastly get him involved in some extra-curricular activities. If he associates school with something he really likes that might encourage him to work harder, especially if it means that lower grades affect his ability to participate. Good luck.
Encourage him to pursue his own interests and sneak education in that way. Say he likes medieval knights, take him to the library to take out books, teach him about metallurgy and catapults and olde English and you can teach science, math and language. By encourage him to educate himself outside of the school system and outside of curricula you can kindle of love of learning that will last a life time.
And remember, as long as he is passing grades really don't matter until the last year, or possibly two of high-school. And even then in the US there are also SATs.
I really believe that with the modern school system school is mainly babysitting and has very little to do with education, if it did people wouldn't graduate high-school with good marks and still not be able to read, write and balance a chequebook.
So encourage him to do well in school as prep for a work environment but keep education separate from school wherever possible.
If he's just being lazy and not trying you might try offering a monetary reward for good grades. If he gets an A on his grade card give 5 or 10 dollars. If he gets a B give him a little less. Anything below a C don't give him anything. If he's just having trouble learning you might could find some websites that help him have fun learning. My kids like the website www.studyisland.com. It has different grade levels to choose from and helps with subjects like math. It makes learning more like a game. I hope this helps! Good luck!
I wish I had a perfect answer for you, but I don't. I was there recently with my son. I ended up putting him in a private school, and he is doing so much better now, but financially it is a true hardship for me.
I think what worked was my son was surrounded by other kids who took school seriously and his teacher didn't accept his laziness, and he missed a lot of recess and activities in the begining of the school year. Once the bar was raised he had no choice but to put in the effort.
maybe it's not so much he's lazy as he's bored with school, and not challenged. Get an outside evaluation. Usually if you disagree with the school evaluation they have to give you a second evaluation and they have to pay for it.
I have one of those kids too.. If it isn't something that interests him, he wants nothing to do with it. VERY FRUSTRATING. I have tried everything. Recently, I hung $30 on the refrigerator and told him that it was his. BUT for every unacceptable grade that he gets, and every responsibilty that isn't fulfilled...he will PAY ME. At the end of the month, we will tally up the "fines" and what ever is left at that time will become his to keep. At which time, I will issue another $30 that he has to work to keep. Monetary rewards or allowances didn't work for me, because if he didn't do what was expected, and didn't receive the money, it was money that he never had to begin with and he really didn't lose anything so he didn't care. With this method, the fact that he has to hand me money that is "his" really bums him out. He has only gotten himself docked $4, and we have been doing this for 2 weeks. It's amazing what the motivation level is when they don't want to lose something of theirs. Remember, kids think that they earn money just by playing video games and existing, and they don't realize that in the real world, when you don't do the right thing, you pay a fine. Telling him that it is going to affect the rest of his life didn't help at all. At 11 years old, he doesn't realize that he WILL be an adult and he really doesn't believe that what he is doing now could affect the rest of his life. GOOD LUCK
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