PLEASE Need Help Relaxing?
Answer:
I totally understand. It's hard enough to have a newborn, let alone a spouse, a business and a life. If you need to unwind a little, check around your area for a rec center or fitness center with a nursery. You can get in a good swim or a fitness class, and your son can wiggle in somebody else's arms for 30 minutes. Lots of fitness centers (24-Hour Fitness, Bally's...) have nurseries onsite, so find out how old a child has to be to be admitted. Then see if you can find transpo: maybe carpool with a neighbor or check for bus routes?
As for your husband, you'll want to find out if he's really only helping when it suits him or if he's actually exhausted from working offshore. It could be he needs some wife time or alone time before he can tackle being a daddy. Talk to him about what would make him feel more inclined to participate happily. Chances are he just needs a nudge in the right direction: daddy's love babies just like mommy's, but sometimes they don't know what to do, particularly if Mommy SEEMS to have everything under control (moms are wicked good at multitasking: dig you with house, baby, career, for example). It can be intimidating. Have an honest talk with him, and see if you can work out a comfortable arrangement for both of you.
Good luck--
Relax...breathe...calm down.
It's difficult. I understand that. Try (if possible) to go on holiday from your business..I mean, take a couple of weeks off.
Are your family anywhere near? Can anyone take your son for a little while so you can catch up with things?
Tell your man that if he doesn't find the house clean enough, to clean it himself.
Go on strike for all things concerning him- make him do all his own stuff so that gives you one less person to worry about.
Are there any mom/baby groups in your area. Go to a couple, make a couple of friends that you trust, and ask them to help you sometimes, and also you will gain help and advice from other moms there :)
Get in touch with your Church or the local Church if you aren't active. They will help you either way. That is how I found help with my twins. Like you I was on the verge of break down. 20 minutes of sleep a day and suffering.
As far as getting your son to let you put him down, try sleeping with his blanket for a night to get your smell on it, then tomorrow when you put him down lay him on the blanket. Your smell will comfort him and he'll sleep longer without you.
To help you relax try reading a novel while you hold him during the day. Baths at night the second your son goes to sleep.
Good luck sweetie
First of all, life is hectic when you add babies, and at some point, your life, your sleep schedule and everything else will get back on track.
Your husband needs to help because he wants to, not because he's ordered to, or it will never be what you really want. Encourage your husband to be with the baby (bathe him,nap with him, play with him, whatever) but don't order him. The more you back off and relax, the better reaction you will get from him. Don't forget that he works hard, too, and the last thing he needs it to come home and get a ration from you that he's not doing enough.
Try coaxing him into your way of thinking in a nice, sweet, positive way. Men respond to that much better than a cranky, hormonal woman barking orders. Trust me. Next time he comes home, draw him a hot bubble bath, grab him a beer, give him a big kiss, and I guarantee you he will be available to change a poopy diaper or two as soon as you snap your fingers.
Secondly, slow down and prioritize. You cannot do it all, and women who trick themselves into thinking they can are the worst people to be around.
Your six week old will not be able to be on a good schedule, but ou can get things done while he's awake or asleep.
First thing you need to do everyday is something for you. Something simple. Make your bed, take a shower or put on some make up. You can put the baby in a bouncie and sing to him or talk to him while you make your bed. Put him in his carseat, strap him in, and put him outside the shower door. Sing or coo to him while you shower, and if he cries - THAT'S OK. As long as you can see him, and you know he's not in physical danger, it's ok to let him cry a bit.
Get your meals made ahead of time (especially on the weeks when your husband is home). Plan ahead, and plan meals you can make the night before or in the morning. Crock pot meals, meat loaf - anything you can put together and stick in the oven when it's time.
Get in a good, quick cleaning routine. I used to put my baby's in their stroller and push them from room to room and do my cleaning. Pick one day to be a deep clean day, and spend no more than 30 minutes on picking up the house each day. Unload the dishwasher at night, and load it up during the day. Throw in laundry here and there, and it will all come together.
Figure out what your worst part of the day is . My baby's melt down time is 4:00 - therefore, I don't plan anything around that time. I know she needs me 100% at that moment, and everything else can wait.
When your baby naps, record how long he's down for. If he's down for two hours, work for one and rest for one. You need to take care of yourself, too.
Email me if you want and I can help you make a good schedule, one more tailored made to you. I can also help you with a meal planner if you want.
www.sanemommy.com
sanemommy@yahoo.com
take him to its grandmom house and say that you will pick him up the next day I have a in day care and i have 7 of them little people or to yo friend house
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