HELP my kids don't mind me!?
Answer:
I understand and I'm sorry. I only have one that was acting that way, I don't know what I would do if it was four of them running around. I know you have tried everything but maybe this version is a little different. This was the only thing that worked for me. At first if my daughter did not clean up, then everything I had to pick up was taken away and she had to earn it back. Well that worked for about a month.the problem was that she had to much stuff and would forgot about what I took away and move on to something else. What I finally did was one weekend when she was at her fathers house (I don't know if you can get the older ones out of the house with someone else long enough) I packed up everything...I mean everything she had. I boxed it up and locked it in the spare room, it was so full that you could not even walk in there. She was left with her bed and dresser in the room. I did not even leave her hair bows or bath toys. I did leave some crayons, blank paper and some board games and computer in the play area. You have to at least leave them a couple of things to be able to take away if needed. She had to earn everything back and she could only pick one thing a week. If she did not pick up after herself, talked back or did not listen to me then she would lose one of the things that either I left out for her or something that she had earned back already. It only took her a week to catch on and to this day it still is working pretty good. In order for it to work I had to get her down to nothing to make her realize that I was fed up. Good luck to you.
take all there toys away and make them behave to get them back. if they act up agian take them away again. good luck
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well you should start with discipline. and stick with it if you let up it will only be worse. you should have started when your first was 18 months
"My mom says they're "out of control" and I need to get a grip on them before they're teenagers"
My mom says that about my 4 year old. If she is bad now wait til she is 16. I am in the same boat as you. I have tried it all too. Time out, spating her butt. taking toys and movies away...everything. One thing that makes her listen. Her stepdad telling her.and it can be the same thing i JUST said but she listens to him and everyone else.
If you find it, throw it out (or lock it up). When they start running out of toys, they will get the idea. For clothes and stuff, just dump them where it is most inconvenient for them. Your Mom is right, they are out of control if the do not head your directives. Coercion, coercion, coercion. Find something that matters and squeeze. If grounding is not working, I have to wonder what sort of grounding it is exactly. No TV, no phone, no friends, no video games, only selected books, homework and chores normally gets to most any kid.
Sounds like you have your hands full. If you could get your Mum or your sitter to take the twins every once and a while maybe some time for you and the older ones would help. They might be craving some one on one time with their Mum...then they might reciprocate. Good luck.
I am doing a reward system with my son who sounded a lot like what you are describing. He gets the reward right away if he does what I ask of him and it is something that he enjoys and wants but doesn't get too offten. I wish you the best of luck with your children. If all else fails you could talk to the ped about it.
Start by figuring out exactly what you want from them and start taking away things--video games, toys, tv in rooms, bikes, anything that is very important in their lives. Lay down the new rules and specify what will happen if they are not followed, "make your bed each morning or bed time will be an hour early" or whatever you want. Also tell them their toys and games are a privlege not a right and that you will keep them until the rules are followed. The most important thing is to be persistant!
I am 27 with 2 sons, age 6 and 7. I was raised with 8 brothers and sisters including a set of twins. The problem is that the older 2 are used to the attention that the younger 2 are getting so basically they are fighting to get it however they can. The best way to handle the situation is to issue a reward system. Give them goals or chores and tasks to do and when they complete one fof them then reward them. Take time to devote to each of them seperately. Then when they misbehave, threaten to shorten this time or take it away.
Maybe they just feel like they need more attention. The four year old would set in time outs and the 7 yr old would be grounded and things taken away. I would also try to do more things that will target alone time with both of them individually. Put them in an extra curricular activity like karate or gymnastics those are good for teaching discipline. Keep them involved with things.
The older ones are not getting enough personal time with you and their father. They feel jealous. Schedule plenty of opportunities for them to spend 1:1 time with their dad, in particular.
Since dad is away, look into big brothers. They need some time with a male role model and receive some personal attention. http://www.bbbs.org
Cut down on their video games, television and sweets. It over stimulates them. Don't punish them for feeling sad. Talk to them and discuss their feelings. Help them to express how they feel. Then get them involved in other activities which interest them.
Girl, I hear you I too have a 7 year and 5 year old boys and a 4 year girl. My boys are a pain in the butt most of the time. They do not listen to me either. I do not know if it is a boy thing or the age they are at. But what I found that works the best is to put them in the concern, send them to their room, put them to bed by 7pm, or not let them go out side after school. I to do not like to spank them and also found it does nothing to them. If I spank them they just laugh at me. So what I really found that works the best is when they lose some thing they really like. Such as a game or no TV and so on. It is Worth a try. Good Luck.
the best thing to do is to take away all their toys and even TV watching ,,,anything that they really like and then make them earn the stuff back by listening to you ...also , we intend to buy them everything they want and expect good behavior , but all we get is misbehaved kids...another thing,,,don't ever give in ,,,this is called " tough love".it hurts but works...good luck.
Welcome To The Club! I truly wonder why people procreate anyway,,:-(=
Teach them the value of a conscience. If you don't do this you don't get that. Get the two oldest in check before the twins understand what's going in because your going to have double trouble dealing with them!
Tune into Nanny 911 on Monday nights... that lady knows what the hell is going on with Children.
You just have to have some patience.
I have had the same problem with my 3 (daughter 12 and 2 boys 10 and 8). With the fighting (which ever ones are doing it) I make them sit back to back on the living room floor. They cannot talk or move for 10 minutes. I'll tell you, that's the best punishment I can give, they definitely don't want to touch whomever their mad at. For the not picking up after themselves, I stop doing whatever it is that they want me to do. For example, if they don't pick up, then I don't make dinner. It's amazing when they get hungry enough how fast they toys get picked up!! lol
Start with small projects and work your way up. Remind the kids to clean up after themselves. If they continue to leave things out (clothes, toys etc) tell them if they leave it out again you are going to throw them away. Don't actually throw them away, hide them until they get the point (atleast a couple of weeks). Start with the seven year old. the four year old may still need reminders and he may also follow the actions of the oldest. Use something they really love as an incentive IE, video games, TV, snacks, juice with dinner, going outside. If you say you are going to take something away stick with your word (no idle threats, kids catch on fast). Hope this helps.
well heres what i would do... I would pick a cleaning day, and stick to it. call it the household cleaning day, everyone helps. let the older ones do the dishes and run vac and let the younger ones dust, find some music and play it loud, tell them that its a race to see who can do their job the fastest and who done the best job , separate them on the chores, and for the ones that dont want to do it ... they have to stay on the chair until all others are done , if that dont work then try the corner . I'm not a parent that believes in spanking children but i do believe that each child has a mind of their own , make them write sentences or read aloud. do you give them a allowance each week? do you take them shopping and let them pick out what they want? only give to the ones that help, going shopping and seeing all the kids get something and you dont will make them want to do something the next time. hope this helps
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