5 year old throwing fits about eating!!?
Answer:
My older son did this when he was around 4. At first I gave in and gave him what he wanted but the doctor told me to just serve dinner and if he didn't want to eat it just send him to bed hungry, no reasoning, no begging, no negotiations. It sounds mean but it actually did work after about a week he began to realize that mommy meant business and if you don't want to eat you'll just go hungry. Believe me she won't starve to death and she can't cry forever. The funniest thing is in the morning he would wake up "Mommy I'm hungry." and eat everything on the plate.
Don't make a big deal about food...
She can eat what is served at meal times if she wishes...
She can eat what you offer for snacks if she wants to...
She will eat if she is hungry...
Fix one meal for your family -- period. If she does not wish to eat what's there then if you can't stand to see her not eat (she has one option a sandwich (PB&J or Meat & Cheese). And she would not get a snack if she couldn't eat what the family is eating that night.
Once you give in to making each kid what they like during the week -- you will wear yourself down. The only time they get to choose is their birthday.
I would simply tell her, that this is what is for dinner and that is that and tell her that if she doesn't eat dinner, then she gets nothing else. If she doesn't eat it, then she gets nothing. When she throws a fit, ignore her...if she says she is hungry, give her the dinner back once...if she doesn't want it...she goes hungry...I know it sounds mean, but you are supplying her with food and it's just her attitude...if she is hungry enough she will eat!
Have you tryed having her help out with making the dinner? giving her more responsibilities around dinner time? She might be more excited to eat it knowing she helped prepare it.
To me, things in my house are not a big deal. The things I give attention too are the things that get worse. My kid tried this and I said ok, but nothing to eat until the next meal... and that was that. When she got hungry I just said no. If she made her own food behind my back I took it away and put in the fridge for after the next meal... If she threw a fit, I treated like any other temper fit and totally ingored it, until she started hitting me, then I punished her for the hitting. She can fight all she wants... to me it is matter of fact... you eat your meal, or at least some. Period. No big deal. She can throw a fit... it doesn't really change anything. She quickly learned that I really didnt' care if she missed a meal or decided to be upset. It just is the way it is. No problems since.
A five-year-old should not be throwing fits, period. If she is really hungry, she'll eat what you fix her.
put the food in front of her ask her to take a few bites tell her she has to sit there with the family even if shes not eating.if she doesnt eat and when the family is done take her food put foil around it and save it for her when she is ready to eat BUT she does not get dessert if she doesnt eat her dinner.
My advice would be to say to her calmly " This is what is for dinner, and if you do not choose to eat it, then thats fine but Mommy will not be making you anything else." Then leave it sitting there and do not cave in.
In the words of my Pediatrician (when I dealt with this with our son) "Kids will not let themselves starve!"
Also, ignoring fits is the best way to geet them to end...they ar eonly doing it to get a reaction from you...once they do not get one they usually give up.
Good Luck!!Take Care!!
I'll begin with this is not a knock on yours, or any else's parenting skills.
Children throw fits becuase at some point, they worked. Give in once during a fit and you guarantee that will spawn at least 10 more fits, and every time you give in, it grows exponentially. I say having raised two children. The important part is that no means no. Do not let up and don't give in. Breaking her of the habit will suck, but you need to do it. My first child threw fits until she was 10 or 11. Often times my wife and I felt guilty and would give in. By the second child, no meant no and there was no argument. He never throws fits...bouts of begging, but it shortly lived when he realizes the answer is no.
Same thing here. You need to let your daughter know that what is being served for dinner, is what you are going to eat. You don't have to eat it, but nothing else will be served that night. STAND FIRM, even when she cries because she's hungry, you know as well as I do, the hunger pains won't kill her. Neither will 12 hours without a meal.
You can't stop a child from fussing about food. But you can control the way you react to her demands for special foods served in certain ways. The good news is that food fits don't have to turn into full-blown food fights. There's too much info on this site to write here, so I'm including the link with strategies to stop food fits. Best of luck!
stick to your guns, be consistent or you will start a problem you wish you never would of. You are the parent and she is the child, if you give in now she will try to walk all over you with everything else. then she will end up a spoiled brat that everyone talks about after you leave the room. Show her good ethics and let her know that what you make for dinner is it. If she does not eat then don't give in. She will learn that when she is hungry she will eat what you offer or she will go hungry. Don't worry, when she gets hungry enough she will eat. Just be consistent. I know you have other stuff to get done and don't want to fight anymore, but you will be thankful in the end. Keep sending her to her room if she throws a fit. Let her know that 5 year olds don't act like this and you will not stand for it. Good luck, and trust me it will get better soon.
Sounds like me at that age. Whatever you do, don't give her junk food for snacks when she complains about being hungry. Leave her supper on the table for a while and tell her she can eat it when she's hungry. Don't let her see you get flustered when she throws a fit. This is what she wants. If you get all shook up, it only encourages the same behavior. Calmly say, "well, I'm sorry you're not hundry right now." Then either leave the table and go about your business, letting her sit by herself to eat, thus ignoring the tantrum or (what worked with me when I was that age) make the entire family sit there quietly until she ate (I would try the leaving her by herself one first, though). Try each for a while, and see which one works best. If she wants attention, having everyone sit and wait may encourage her. That's why I suggested doing the other first. Or, just ask "are you not going to eat?" If she says no, say, oh alright. Leave her supper in the fridge and when she complains about being hungry, tell her you'll heat up her leftovers for her. Give her the same thing she was supposed to eat, and don't change her meal. If she sees you jump through hoops trying to please her, this is what she'll expect.
Do you all sit down together for dinner? Sometimes just formally sitting down and talking while you're eating will encourage a child to eat along with every one else. I try not to force my kids to eat, because I want them to learn to listen to their bodies and not eat just because it's time to or it was put on her plate. If she chooses to not eat, then cover it and put it in the refridgerator. I would fix the normal food for dinner. When she comes to you and says that she is hungry. You say, "Your plate is in the refridgerator, do you want me to heat it up for you?" If she says, "No, I want chips". Then tell her, "OK, you can have chips as soon as you eat your dinner." Don't break down and just give her whatever she wants. It's OK for her to throw a fit, annoying, but OK. Ignore her or place her in timeout until she is ready to be nice, but do not give her a snack until she has ate her dinner. Do not let her believe that throwing a fit will get her the food she wants. Hopefully, she will see that this is a losing battle and she will at least attempt to eat her dinner and the fits will lessen when she sees that they get her no where. Best of Luck! I know it's tough!
Spank her.
She thinks she can get away with it, and be the boss, and not do what you say. One firm spanking and the problem is over.
I may not get Mother of the Year for this response, but here goes:
When my kids (all three of them) started griping about dinner habitually, I decided I was done. I was done with the arguing. I was done with the whining, the complaining, the fit throwing.
I prepared them a dinner of RAW ONIONS (the one thing all three of them hate with a passion). The demeanor was completely different at THIS meal. I very calmly told them to sit their little bottoms down and eat. They had ketchup and mustard to dip their onions in.
I let it be known that I was tired of trying to prepare things for them that they would like. I was tired of being griped at for doing my best. I said the law says I have to feed them, but it doesn't say WHAT I have to feed them. So they got onions, and if they continued to complain about meals that I cooked for them, they would be getting more onions.
It worked...at least for a while. :)
Good luck!
I have been a mom for 27 years. I have 4 kids plus I have been a licensed child care provider in my home for 20 years. I have dealt with numerous food issues over the years. The advice I can offer you is to take the battle out of meal time and make food a "non-issue". As a parent, you can provide healthy meal and snack choices but it is your child's choice to eat or not. If she throws a fit, do what you can to ignore that behavior as much as possible. If you become so annoyed that you think you are going to yell, leave the room. Stick to what you say. If you give her a snack even one time after she won't eat dinner, then she'll know that she can put up a fuss long enough that eventually you will give one to her. Kids can be pretty insistent and can often hold out much longer than a parent if they think they can win the battle. If she goes to bed without anything to eat once or twice, it won't hurt her any. What I do for my own children and for my day care children is this: I plan breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 3 snacks per day. They are offered and each child may eat what they like. However, when they get down from the table, that meal/snack is over. If they are hungry before another meal/snack they may have any amount of fresh veggies that they like. I keep baby carrots, cauliflower, cucumbers, peppers (red, yellow, and orange are sweeter than green), and sometimes other veggies for munching. Because I feed so many people so many times a day, I can't be a short-order cook. I make many of my meal plans with the kids. We sit down and talk about good food choices and they help me make menus. Everyone gets to pick a meal they like once a week with the rule it must be healthy. Enlist your daughter's help in planning meals and cooking them. Don't beg, plead, or promise treats if she will eat something. Offer healthy foods and let her choose what she'll eat. If she doesn't eat, she can have her saved food later or she can wait until the next meal/snack is served. It may seem as though her difficulty is with eating, but she is most likely struggling with boundaries and control. Set the boundaries and give her control when you can. Does she want beans or peas with her hamburger helper? Does she want apple juice or grape juice with her graham crackers and string cheese at snack? Does she want snack before or after your walk around the block? It is very common for kids to get set in a rut when it comes to food. Offer one of their favorites at dinner along with everything else being served.
...I have the answer it really works...you offer her the dinner etc...she says no... throws a fit ... you take the food away...and you ignoree her.yes just ignor her...go in the other room...If she follows you in to continue her fit ...you get up and go to yet another room...Ignore her.then at a time when she is calm.you sit her down and tell her the rules explain that the food will only be offered to her 1 time if she does not eat it or throws a fit etc. the food will be taken away and there will be NO other food until the next meal.and then YOU follow through...she will try you and you can not let her down ..you have to follow through EVERY TIME... good luck...it will work
I have a 4 yr old and we occasionally go through the same thing.
there's some great answers up above.
1. Having them help out really does seem to work.
2. Once when she took a fit, I told her that if she didn't eat, I would save it for her for breakfast. Next morning, that's what she ate. I didn't have to do that again (just threaten it once in awhile).
I was having a similar problem with my 4 year old daughter. Every night after working all day I would spend time make something to eat and she would just sit at the table and say no. The first thing you need to stop doing is offering her anything other than what you've made for dinner. That's giving her the control. Secondly, explain to her nicely before dinner time tomorrow that this is what we're having for dinner. If she chooses not to eat, that's fine, but no snacks will be given and if she is hungry when she goes to bed that is because she made the choice to not eat. Then when dinner time comes and she goes into the same old fit say that's fine, put her food in the microwave and everytime she says she's hungry, offer her her dinner. Then, about 15 minutes before bed, warm it up, and offer it again. If she still refuses, then she goes to bed hungry. It may seem mean, but after a day or so she will get tired of this and she will accept the rules and she will eat. I occasionally still have this problem when she wants to test the boundaries, but I do this and the next night she is eating with me. Good luck, just remember, too many choices for a child so young is not a good thing. They need to be told what to do, not offered other options.
I had the same problem with my daughter a few years ago. I was very worried about her not eating and being smaller than the other kids. We took her to the doctor and he said don't fuss when she gets hungry she will eat. Just make sure you give her no option of junk food. She will get it and she'll eat. Good luck
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