Is my kindergartner depressed?
Answer:
Are there any recent changes in his life (new baby, move, family stress)? If so, give him lots of extra love and support. It could be that he is being bullied in school, or a combination of life changes and school difficulties. It is very common for children who are being bullied to act out in these ways. Here is a great article on how to deal with children being bullied. http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlyc...
It’s great that you take time once a week to do something special with him. Try and take a little time each day to show your love. Do an art project, read a story, have him help you with dinner or chores. He will feel proud to help you and it will help him to feel like a “Big kid.”
Consider arranging some play dates with his peers. Maybe start off inviting children that he gets along well with and then children that he doesn’t get along well with. Having some one on one time with these peers may help his relationship with them at school because outside influences aren’t around.
If he becomes aggressive or angry with his brothers, rush to his brother and empathize. “Ouch! That must have hurt! Let’s get some ice to put on your sore.” Shut your son out. You can also be overly dramatic about this. When he goes near his brothers, pick the “victim” up and say to your son “I can’t have you around him. I’m worried you might hurt him.” He will not like not getting attention, though it is negative, for this.
He is aggressive with his brothers because it feels powerful. Help him to feel powerful by saying things like “You did that by yourself! You worked on that for a long time! You can run super fast! You did that so gently!” Using phrases such as these are much better than using extrinsic motivators (“Good job!”, stickers, treats). They are great confidence builders, great ways to show attention, and great ways to help him to feel powerful.
I would also empathize with him after an aggressive or when he is upset incident. "You must have felt very (angry, mad, hurt, frustrated) when you hurt "John." What can you do next time instead?" or “Wow! I can tell that you are feeling so (angry, mad, hurt, frustrated).” Do some problem solving with him to give him some ideas. He will learn to express his feelings rather than become aggressive or becoming upset over little things.
When he is misbehaving, use natural and logical consequence when you can. Taking away a toy or privileges when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he makes a mess, he cleans it. If he breaks a toy, he puts it in the trash. If he damages something in the home, he does things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the “punishment” you use fit the crime committed.
You can also try this when he misbehaves tell him “I don’t like when you (explain what and why in very few words).” Put him in a quiet area away from you (his room, the couch). Tell him “When you are ready to (listen, be gentle, calm down…) then you can come back. This is not a time out because you are not giving him a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he's ready to control himself. You may have to take him back to the spot a few times before he gets the message. Thank him when he is calm. Keep it up!
I hope this helps! Good luck to you and your son!
He may be getting bullied.
Family problem?
Time to medicate
Have you taken him to a doctor or a neurologist? It is highly unlikely, but sometimes there are medical reasons for behavior changes. If you hadn't mentioned the migraines I think I would have just said he was frightened or anxious about something at school, but since he mentions pain waking him you should consult a neurologist just to rule that out. Failing that I think therapy is the way.
Have you asked him to talk about his day and asked open ended questions about the children and the teacher? Ask if there is anything he doesn't like about the day or if there are children who act mean?
im sorry i dont no my kindergardener is just like that he comes home with an attitude everyday so if u get the answer tell me
I WOULD INVESTIGATE HIS TEACHERS & CLASS.HAS HE BEEN ABUSED? MAYBE EVEN SEXUALLY? ASK HIM IF ANYONE HAS HURT HIM.LISTEN TO HIM CAREFULLY.HAVE HIM CHECKED BY A DOCTOR FOR ASSAULT.YOU MUST CHECK THIS OUT TO BE SURE THAT THIS IS NOT THE REASON FOR THE SUDDEN BEHAVIOR.HAVE HIM DRAW PICTURES & SEE IF THERE IS ANYTHING STRANGE ABOUT THEM.NEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH YOUR CHILD.
He definitely sounds stressed. If there has been a sudden and drastic change in his behavior and personality, and it seems like he has physiological symptoms that often go with stress and anxiety in kids, it may indicate a trauma that he has not been able to talk about with you. In any case therapy seems like a good idea, but why wait until February? In the meantime, try to be sure he is comfortable doing the activities he is involved with outside of school and doesn't feel additional stress from them.
i have heard somewhere that sometimes this is a sign of abuse somewhere along the lines... not saying family member but you should really sit down and talk to your son. childern who are being abused often lash out the same way your son is.
My Daughter was in the same boat as your son. and Guess what the problem was? his Teacher. my daughter would come home and look so sad. she would always complain about being sick right before she went to school. Finally, after talking to some doctors, i finally thought that there was no other option but to confront her teacher about the problem. when i did this, i made sure my daughter wasnt around. when i peeped though the door of the classroom, i heard her teacher yelling at the students. my daughters was so used to my method of disipline which was a lecture and a time out, that her teacher made her see a completely unnessecary way of disipline. Try talking to the teacher and more importantly, talk with your son. At that age, they go through so much with other classmates and also instructors. I hope this helps
he might be going just through a phase my 13teen year old did the same thing when he was little he but some much in to just pleasing us with his school work that by the time it came down to just relaxing he did not know how . and also did you ask him what was wrong he might just tell you
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/01/1...
Lay your hands on him and pray for him. Pray also over him when he goes to school.
I agree with the other posters. Drastic behavior changes in a child often are warning signs of abuse. Listen to your child, try to not judge or be angry. Realize that he may not be able to tell you exactly what happened but if ANYTHING seems off about what he says, investigate and take it seriously. Has your child been around anyone new lately or spent time over night at someone's house? Been babysat by someone you don't know well? Or even someone you do? Trust your gut on this and try to get him into a counselor before February. Otherwise things will likely just keep sliding until then.
Your " Golden Child" is not depressed in the clinical sense but just a spoiled brat. You have created a monster & your child is running the show. You have shown your son no bounderies in anything & have let him manipulate you both since day one. In a few years you will be repaid with juvenile court- wrecked and stolen cars-pregnant girl friends & you won't always be around to " Fix" his problems nor his life. Because of his court record - no university or college will want him- you will be lucky to even get him into the military , he will live with you both forever- a parasite. Be firm- change who is running the show- set boundaries- hold your course & don't be giving him everything he sees or wants- that is not real life & you are making it hard on him to live in the " real world " . Good luck.
The adjustment to Kindergarten might be really hard on him. Especially if you are a stay at home mom and he isn't used to being disciplined by other adults. Do you have any idea what kind of behavior he is showing at school? If he is behaving at school, his reserves might be depleted when he gets home and he takes it all out on the people he can trust. Is there a school counselor you can talk to? I agree with others that if you really don't know what is going on, you shouldn't wait to have him talk to a counselor.
It sounds like something is definitely going on, but trying to find out what from a child is hard to do. You are doing the right thing by starting therapy I think, maybe a professional will be able to help get to the bottom of this. In the meantime I would talk to him. Make sure he is in a setting where he feels totally safe and comfortable and in a cooperative mood and start a conversation with him. Ask him if he is sad, or mad, or if something or someone is bothering him. Make sure that you let him know that he can tell you anything, no matter what. Don't try to make him talk to you because that will just agitate him more. But, maybe he will feel like talking to you and you will get some idea of what's up. Good luck and I hope he gets back to his old self soon.
My son has had some issues since he started school as well. His stomach hurts and his head hurts. I have had meetings with the school. It was school that was making him upset. Now he has some friends at school and is doing much better. He still wakes up in the middle of the night complaining something hurts. As soon as I let him come in my bed and cuddle him he settles down. You are doing all the right things. Good luck. Once you figure out what the issue is it will be easier to deal with.
awww that is really sad!
my advice to you is to try and make his life a little bit happier. as in try and give him more attention than you are now [im not saying that you dont, its just that i know the feeling having more than 1 kid and not knowing how to divide your attention - 3 boys age 14, 12, 1 and another baby on the way, planning on many more] treat him to a special vacation or buy him something nice.
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